saturday mornings for a single girl
if i'm not going to church, i love to do what i do best on saturday mornings...everything that i like!
this morning i slept late, got myself a nice hot cup of coffee (with ghiradelli's chocolate in it) and settled down to read birds & blooms magazine in the sun & dream of country living. then i did my spa day things. now as i let my spa treatments settle in, i'm sitting down with another good book...a favorite from college: vice & virtue in everyday life.
nothing like a good refresher on ethics to get one's weekend started. this was one of my favorite books in college/grad school. the other two being macroeconomics (including the study of the welfare system which was totally fascinating) and in grad school management theory cases.
today i'm going to decide whether or not i'm kantian or utilitarian in views & practice. i'm sure you can't wait to hear which way i swing...
later on today we're going to the park & the over to see friends in the country. all in all, will be a fun day in the sun day. hmmm...speaking of sun, maybe i should sail again this year. it looks awfully tempting looking out of my window at work at sailing in the harbor.
May 01, 2004
April 30, 2004
it's raining men, hallelujah
ever since i decided that to get more love, i have to give more love (and this is not in the 70s kind of way), i seem to be attracting love like a magnet.
in the "who's new" section of my life i have a date on tuesday with a guy off yahoo personals, some lawyer who does auto racing on the side.
in the "who's out" section of my life, i have a funny story about a guy who i was writing to on yahoo for months. a gyn-oncologist who works like a dog, as he puts it. since the dog-days of summer are coming up, that doesn't appeal to me too much. but in any case, he wrote well. and seems, that's all he did. after writing to me for months (god only knows why i wrote back that long) he decided it was time to get back with his ex girlfriend again. so fine, bubye. then i saw him on the site again a couple months later & decided to see what was up. no more ex? so i wrote to him. he wrote aimlessly again once or twice, and then since he doesn't have the cahunas to meet me, decides that he is "planning" and i quote, to date some girl exclusively and therefore won't be able to meet me. in my head i wrote back the following response: "dear workaholic doctor, that's good that you wouldn't want to meet me because you are planning to date someone. it protected me from cheating on my soon-to-be-husband, which i plan to meet and marry in the next couple years or so. i'm so glad you protected both of us from throwing ourselves at each other in the coffee shop and engaging in wild sex, and dishonoring those we are planning to date at some point in the future."
in the "who's still on section" two of my buds are keeping in touch, more than usual, and it's awesome. i wouldn't mind a little more of the touch, but it's a little hard across a dozen states.
in the "who's on first, what's on second & i dunno's on third" section, is a friend who i've gone out with a few times but can't figure out what he actually thinks. that seems to work ok for me too, so seems we'll leave it right with the bases loaded & no one knowing what the hell is going on. much like the world series last year.
and of course, in the "you can't touch this section" there is a new guy at work who is to die for.
all of which is useless of course, me still being single and all, but very entertaining and whatnot, leaving endless possibilities for nothing to happen.
ever since i decided that to get more love, i have to give more love (and this is not in the 70s kind of way), i seem to be attracting love like a magnet.
in the "who's new" section of my life i have a date on tuesday with a guy off yahoo personals, some lawyer who does auto racing on the side.
in the "who's out" section of my life, i have a funny story about a guy who i was writing to on yahoo for months. a gyn-oncologist who works like a dog, as he puts it. since the dog-days of summer are coming up, that doesn't appeal to me too much. but in any case, he wrote well. and seems, that's all he did. after writing to me for months (god only knows why i wrote back that long) he decided it was time to get back with his ex girlfriend again. so fine, bubye. then i saw him on the site again a couple months later & decided to see what was up. no more ex? so i wrote to him. he wrote aimlessly again once or twice, and then since he doesn't have the cahunas to meet me, decides that he is "planning" and i quote, to date some girl exclusively and therefore won't be able to meet me. in my head i wrote back the following response: "dear workaholic doctor, that's good that you wouldn't want to meet me because you are planning to date someone. it protected me from cheating on my soon-to-be-husband, which i plan to meet and marry in the next couple years or so. i'm so glad you protected both of us from throwing ourselves at each other in the coffee shop and engaging in wild sex, and dishonoring those we are planning to date at some point in the future."
in the "who's still on section" two of my buds are keeping in touch, more than usual, and it's awesome. i wouldn't mind a little more of the touch, but it's a little hard across a dozen states.
in the "who's on first, what's on second & i dunno's on third" section, is a friend who i've gone out with a few times but can't figure out what he actually thinks. that seems to work ok for me too, so seems we'll leave it right with the bases loaded & no one knowing what the hell is going on. much like the world series last year.
and of course, in the "you can't touch this section" there is a new guy at work who is to die for.
all of which is useless of course, me still being single and all, but very entertaining and whatnot, leaving endless possibilities for nothing to happen.
April 26, 2004
it's all about the love
sometimes you have certain friends of whom you are not sure why you have them. you can count on 10 short but talented violin-playing fingers the number of times they annoy you. and then you can count on 10 sexy red-polished toes all the great things about them. (if you're my friend, i'm kidding, i really don't do this.) but oddly enough, the more they annoy you, the more attractive they become over time until you start to see their annoyance as endearing quirks about them.
in the midst of all the counting though, there are times when you know without a doubt why they are your friends: they speak to you like no one else can. either because others don't care, they don't dare, or they're just not observant enough to see through you. it's those moments that you forget all about annoyances and just feel the love of your friends.
sometimes speaking the truth in love is the best quality a friend can ever share with you.
sometimes you have certain friends of whom you are not sure why you have them. you can count on 10 short but talented violin-playing fingers the number of times they annoy you. and then you can count on 10 sexy red-polished toes all the great things about them. (if you're my friend, i'm kidding, i really don't do this.) but oddly enough, the more they annoy you, the more attractive they become over time until you start to see their annoyance as endearing quirks about them.
in the midst of all the counting though, there are times when you know without a doubt why they are your friends: they speak to you like no one else can. either because others don't care, they don't dare, or they're just not observant enough to see through you. it's those moments that you forget all about annoyances and just feel the love of your friends.
sometimes speaking the truth in love is the best quality a friend can ever share with you.
not meaning to be mean
oh the misunderstandings that arise between genders when men and women try to communicate. right now i am in the midst of three misunderstandings. one that will likely cost me ever meeting someone, another that is making "trouble" between me and a longtime friend, and the third, one that could have cost me a friendship, which seems to at the moment be back on track.
i don't tend to be the kindest person or one who beats around the bush trying to find the nicest way to talk to the bush. it's not something i ever heard my parents do nor that i know how instinctively. i tend to say exactly what i mean, which is sometimes just that (mean), because i don't know how to ask for what i need in a nice way.
anyhow, if one were to look at communication as a utilitarian feature, which it usually is, with the intent of delivering one piece of intended information to another person who can receive it with the same intent in which it was originally packaged, then i fall far short of success. which means i need to change how i communicate.
how does one negotiate change? or communicate intent?
there are three things good about my current troubles:
1) i am communicating much more to have gotten into this many problems.
2) those guys who know where my intent really lies will manage somehow to muddle through the communication part with me until we come to some understanding. the man who does that best will be the man i will marry. the one who hears my intent, regardless of my words, because sometimes it just doesn't come out right, no matter how hard i try. and the one who will respond back, sharing his intent, no matter how it all comes out. at least it is reciprocal.
3) all the guys who are my friends have forgiven me at one time or another for being a bitch, just as i have forgiven them for being jerks. what counts is are we actively changing for the better and treating each better every day?
i guess the key to success is to keep on trying...if you're both talking, at least you're still having the conversation...
oh the misunderstandings that arise between genders when men and women try to communicate. right now i am in the midst of three misunderstandings. one that will likely cost me ever meeting someone, another that is making "trouble" between me and a longtime friend, and the third, one that could have cost me a friendship, which seems to at the moment be back on track.
i don't tend to be the kindest person or one who beats around the bush trying to find the nicest way to talk to the bush. it's not something i ever heard my parents do nor that i know how instinctively. i tend to say exactly what i mean, which is sometimes just that (mean), because i don't know how to ask for what i need in a nice way.
anyhow, if one were to look at communication as a utilitarian feature, which it usually is, with the intent of delivering one piece of intended information to another person who can receive it with the same intent in which it was originally packaged, then i fall far short of success. which means i need to change how i communicate.
how does one negotiate change? or communicate intent?
there are three things good about my current troubles:
1) i am communicating much more to have gotten into this many problems.
2) those guys who know where my intent really lies will manage somehow to muddle through the communication part with me until we come to some understanding. the man who does that best will be the man i will marry. the one who hears my intent, regardless of my words, because sometimes it just doesn't come out right, no matter how hard i try. and the one who will respond back, sharing his intent, no matter how it all comes out. at least it is reciprocal.
3) all the guys who are my friends have forgiven me at one time or another for being a bitch, just as i have forgiven them for being jerks. what counts is are we actively changing for the better and treating each better every day?
i guess the key to success is to keep on trying...if you're both talking, at least you're still having the conversation...
April 23, 2004
April 22, 2004
coming up roses
i have a beautiful bouquet on my desk, with lilies, gerber daisies and other various and sundry flowerish things that make women's hearts go pitterpat. this one is from my boss for secretaries day, and i must admit, this is one perk for this position that i love. i also am rationing out the godiva truffles which should last until about the time he and my other bosses take me out to lunch.
there is something about flowers that makes me forget all other perceived ills. i have only good will toward my boss now. interesting how that works & how men, when in relationships, take advantage of it.
i wouldn't mind if some man took advantage of it for me about now.
but one smart woman yesterday in the national admin meeting said...if you want flowers, grow your own. which is precisely why i'm trying to decide if maybe i don't want that house after all instead of the condo....
i have a beautiful bouquet on my desk, with lilies, gerber daisies and other various and sundry flowerish things that make women's hearts go pitterpat. this one is from my boss for secretaries day, and i must admit, this is one perk for this position that i love. i also am rationing out the godiva truffles which should last until about the time he and my other bosses take me out to lunch.
there is something about flowers that makes me forget all other perceived ills. i have only good will toward my boss now. interesting how that works & how men, when in relationships, take advantage of it.
i wouldn't mind if some man took advantage of it for me about now.
but one smart woman yesterday in the national admin meeting said...if you want flowers, grow your own. which is precisely why i'm trying to decide if maybe i don't want that house after all instead of the condo....
April 19, 2004
sum things i don't understand
perhaps it's because i'm single, or maybe because i am me, but i really don't get some things about what women expect of men.
#1: women expect men to be home for dinner. on time.
my response: now really ladies, this is the new millenium. this isn't the 1950s. and me? i don't eat "dinner". so will my man need to be home for dinner? no. will he get any when he gets home? maybe. just about the same answer as if i would get dinner made by him waiting for me when i get home.
i just don't care that much about eating with people. during the years i grew up, we had a lot of fights at the dinner table. now i'd just rather eat in front of the tv or something. "DINNER" is not a hot button for me. if my man wants dinner when he gets home he can 1) call for a pizza & pick it up on the way home, 2) bribe me for dinner, 3) make his own (and mine too). otherwise, he can do what i'm doing when i get home from work: see what is in the fridge and put it on a plate and eat it.
IMHO, "dinner" is much ado about nothing.
however, the on-time part is another topic!
#2: women expect men to take out the garbage, mow lawn, and nag nag nag until it gets done.
my response: why is this a man's job? like women have no arms. i'll either take out the garbage myself (after all i grew up doing it) or it will mold and rot until someone breaks down & does it.
and the lawn & other stuff? if my man agrees to do/fix something i'll give him a reasonable amount of time & then if he doesn't do it, i'll hire someone else to. when he sees the bill chances are he'll get on it next time. if he doesn't care, why should i. i'll just start hiring people to clean the house too while we're at it. we'll have less fights, more done and more time to play. of course we'll be poor, but who cares. we'll be poor and happy.
who the hell cares if he doesn't do all this stuff? not me...not right now anyhow. wait until you see my boyfriend-blog and then i'm sure i'll have another opinion (full of trying to coerce him into "doing the right thing", god forbid.
what do i care about?
damn it, be a man of your word. if you say you'll call, call. if you say you'll show up, show up. if you say you'll do something do it. or else i'll find someone else who'd be most happy to do all of the above in your place.
nuff said.
perhaps it's because i'm single, or maybe because i am me, but i really don't get some things about what women expect of men.
#1: women expect men to be home for dinner. on time.
my response: now really ladies, this is the new millenium. this isn't the 1950s. and me? i don't eat "dinner". so will my man need to be home for dinner? no. will he get any when he gets home? maybe. just about the same answer as if i would get dinner made by him waiting for me when i get home.
i just don't care that much about eating with people. during the years i grew up, we had a lot of fights at the dinner table. now i'd just rather eat in front of the tv or something. "DINNER" is not a hot button for me. if my man wants dinner when he gets home he can 1) call for a pizza & pick it up on the way home, 2) bribe me for dinner, 3) make his own (and mine too). otherwise, he can do what i'm doing when i get home from work: see what is in the fridge and put it on a plate and eat it.
IMHO, "dinner" is much ado about nothing.
however, the on-time part is another topic!
#2: women expect men to take out the garbage, mow lawn, and nag nag nag until it gets done.
my response: why is this a man's job? like women have no arms. i'll either take out the garbage myself (after all i grew up doing it) or it will mold and rot until someone breaks down & does it.
and the lawn & other stuff? if my man agrees to do/fix something i'll give him a reasonable amount of time & then if he doesn't do it, i'll hire someone else to. when he sees the bill chances are he'll get on it next time. if he doesn't care, why should i. i'll just start hiring people to clean the house too while we're at it. we'll have less fights, more done and more time to play. of course we'll be poor, but who cares. we'll be poor and happy.
who the hell cares if he doesn't do all this stuff? not me...not right now anyhow. wait until you see my boyfriend-blog and then i'm sure i'll have another opinion (full of trying to coerce him into "doing the right thing", god forbid.
what do i care about?
damn it, be a man of your word. if you say you'll call, call. if you say you'll show up, show up. if you say you'll do something do it. or else i'll find someone else who'd be most happy to do all of the above in your place.
nuff said.
April 07, 2004
just plumb beat
looking for real estate is a nasty process. it really warps your mind. imagining yourself living in lots of different places makes your brain go "huh?" and there you are not sure where you REALLY do live anymore & what you think about it.
today i "let go" of my current buyer's agent (who was also a seller's agent for other people) and "hired" an exclusive buyer's agent. we'll see if things go any better. i'm sad cuz i really liked this guy but hey, i'd probably pick a sure sale over me too. anyhow, so we'll see if working with a woman is any better. i at least won't get a crush on her.
so to take my mind off of RE, i've decided to think about boys again. (wait, did i ever stop?) and go away for the weekend. so i'll be gone over easter weekend & drive through texas thinking, gees, i could buy a ranch for the price of 300 sqf here in boston. ok ok, i won't think about RE in dallas. i'll think about boys.
and it seems, if it's not one of the two, it's going to have to be ... babies. yes, i did say the b word. sad, but gotta admit life goes on with or without a man. i won't go into that topic now, but someday you'll have to hear about it! in the meantime, enjoy me bitching about condos!
looking for real estate is a nasty process. it really warps your mind. imagining yourself living in lots of different places makes your brain go "huh?" and there you are not sure where you REALLY do live anymore & what you think about it.
today i "let go" of my current buyer's agent (who was also a seller's agent for other people) and "hired" an exclusive buyer's agent. we'll see if things go any better. i'm sad cuz i really liked this guy but hey, i'd probably pick a sure sale over me too. anyhow, so we'll see if working with a woman is any better. i at least won't get a crush on her.
so to take my mind off of RE, i've decided to think about boys again. (wait, did i ever stop?) and go away for the weekend. so i'll be gone over easter weekend & drive through texas thinking, gees, i could buy a ranch for the price of 300 sqf here in boston. ok ok, i won't think about RE in dallas. i'll think about boys.
and it seems, if it's not one of the two, it's going to have to be ... babies. yes, i did say the b word. sad, but gotta admit life goes on with or without a man. i won't go into that topic now, but someday you'll have to hear about it! in the meantime, enjoy me bitching about condos!
April 03, 2004
exit strategy
well, i withdrew my offer on the beautiful renovated victorian condo. to my sadness. the @#%#^$ sellers agent "forgot" to mention that the back staircase was for emergencies only. since the condo is so small and i need that staircase to feel like i'm not locked in, and because it takes up quite a bit of space of the 703 sqf, i backed out. but not without paying the $325 inspection fee. blasted realtor. however, my buyers agent was very nice & agreed to assume the fee in his commission, should i buy a place thru him. that was nice.
so i'm back looking at places again next week. but not right now. tired of it. what an exhausting process to do all by ones self. but at least...i can pick whatever the hell i want and i have only myself to please in buying a place. that is nice!
well, i withdrew my offer on the beautiful renovated victorian condo. to my sadness. the @#%#^$ sellers agent "forgot" to mention that the back staircase was for emergencies only. since the condo is so small and i need that staircase to feel like i'm not locked in, and because it takes up quite a bit of space of the 703 sqf, i backed out. but not without paying the $325 inspection fee. blasted realtor. however, my buyers agent was very nice & agreed to assume the fee in his commission, should i buy a place thru him. that was nice.
so i'm back looking at places again next week. but not right now. tired of it. what an exhausting process to do all by ones self. but at least...i can pick whatever the hell i want and i have only myself to please in buying a place. that is nice!
March 23, 2004
a-loan & blue
my head is spinning with mortgage rates day & night! if it's not that, it's what do i want to buy. ugh. must stop & think about something else.
but not this...
since my hair is short again, not intentionally, i now get hit on by girls again. ugh. i really hate that. yesterday some chick was telling me how beautiful the moon was as i was walking away from the t-stop. who the hell cares. i'd seen the moon over the boston sky-line already (nothing better than right behind the custom house!). it's not any better over a traffic light with someone pointing it out to me, hoping i'll walk up the street with them...or a little bit more.
i really hate being hit on. i must grow my hair back out again just to avoid it.
my head is spinning with mortgage rates day & night! if it's not that, it's what do i want to buy. ugh. must stop & think about something else.
but not this...
since my hair is short again, not intentionally, i now get hit on by girls again. ugh. i really hate that. yesterday some chick was telling me how beautiful the moon was as i was walking away from the t-stop. who the hell cares. i'd seen the moon over the boston sky-line already (nothing better than right behind the custom house!). it's not any better over a traffic light with someone pointing it out to me, hoping i'll walk up the street with them...or a little bit more.
i really hate being hit on. i must grow my hair back out again just to avoid it.