sparkles
what is it about marriage that takes the sparkle right out of a girl's eye? that makes her tired and aged?
scares the hell out of me. i've seen it happen to so many of my friends. what i can't figure out, is it just the aging process? (i feel old and tired too, even though someone at work just told me she thought i was 10 yrs younger than my age). or is it the marriage process?
i don't want to lose my sparkle.
July 15, 2005
i just want to say, i [something] you
so there's this wierd thing about being single that you don't know quite where to put men in your life. i have a friend who turns all her guys who didn't turn out to be the one into friends. i guess i could do that. but i just kinda lose interest in communicating with them if i'm not interested in them. or if they're not interested in me. interest is a big aphrodisiac.
so back to these boys. i guess i could friend them. i might as well. but the interesting part is in the choice. if i were married, i wouldn't have this choice.
not that there's anything wrong with that.
so there's this wierd thing about being single that you don't know quite where to put men in your life. i have a friend who turns all her guys who didn't turn out to be the one into friends. i guess i could do that. but i just kinda lose interest in communicating with them if i'm not interested in them. or if they're not interested in me. interest is a big aphrodisiac.
so back to these boys. i guess i could friend them. i might as well. but the interesting part is in the choice. if i were married, i wouldn't have this choice.
not that there's anything wrong with that.
May 18, 2005
he said, she said
it's amazing what conflicting advice is out there for singles. everyone really, but singles especially. especially women. getting real says "walk across the room & tell him you're really into him." mama gena says "shake that booty, grab that ass & make it yours." the rules say "don't look at him or smile at him. if he likes you, he'll go through hell or high water to get your attention." what's a girl to do? especially if she DOESN'T see any guys she likes across the room?
it's amazing what conflicting advice is out there for singles. everyone really, but singles especially. especially women. getting real says "walk across the room & tell him you're really into him." mama gena says "shake that booty, grab that ass & make it yours." the rules say "don't look at him or smile at him. if he likes you, he'll go through hell or high water to get your attention." what's a girl to do? especially if she DOESN'T see any guys she likes across the room?
.com
i prob won't be renewing seeingsingle.com. so you can also find this post at its blogspot location, which is i think something like http://seeingsingle2.blogspot.com.
i prob won't be renewing seeingsingle.com. so you can also find this post at its blogspot location, which is i think something like http://seeingsingle2.blogspot.com.
April 28, 2005
boston dreamin' on a rainy day
so last night i had this dream about this guy i have (mostly had, thank goodness) a crush on at work. (i've been ignoring him lately, mostly b/c i am over it, but he doesn't particularly like that. so he's been trying to get my attention. of course.)
in my dream he's all upset that his g/f left him, but of course less upset (it's my dream, hey) than he is happy he can now be with me. cheers. so in the soap opera style (again, it's my dream, no matter how corny) he finds solace in my arms. and falls asleep. (bit of reality crept in there)
funny part is not the dream but that i see him this a.m. & he comes to talk to me & is like 10 inches away & it's all i can do not to tell him, gee i dreamed about you last night. that would just lead to no good. especially in front of all the other guys.
hee hee. life is funny.
so last night i had this dream about this guy i have (mostly had, thank goodness) a crush on at work. (i've been ignoring him lately, mostly b/c i am over it, but he doesn't particularly like that. so he's been trying to get my attention. of course.)
in my dream he's all upset that his g/f left him, but of course less upset (it's my dream, hey) than he is happy he can now be with me. cheers. so in the soap opera style (again, it's my dream, no matter how corny) he finds solace in my arms. and falls asleep. (bit of reality crept in there)
funny part is not the dream but that i see him this a.m. & he comes to talk to me & is like 10 inches away & it's all i can do not to tell him, gee i dreamed about you last night. that would just lead to no good. especially in front of all the other guys.
hee hee. life is funny.
April 25, 2005
i just called to say i'm sorry
the AWOL and paper boys were busy apologizing to us (respectively) yesterday.
what to do now?
as doc love points out, her interest level falls through the floor when boyz behave badly.
will wait and see if the spirit moves to be forgiving. at least. interest will revive later, if ever. we'll see.
the AWOL and paper boys were busy apologizing to us (respectively) yesterday.
what to do now?
as doc love points out, her interest level falls through the floor when boyz behave badly.
will wait and see if the spirit moves to be forgiving. at least. interest will revive later, if ever. we'll see.
April 24, 2005
boyz gone AWOL
well, i went out with a couple of my friends last night. we were supposed to be picked up by some guys who had a limo. already a sketchy proposition i thought (not being that enthralled by limos) we found it even wierder when the guys showed up, came up one by one and introduced themselves, and then went away again. apparently to meet up with some coworkers in the back of the place while we finished our dinner. next thing we know, poof, they were gone, and the guy who arranged the whole thing was bemoaning the fact he was stuck in the car with 8 guys! needless to say we had some general questions at that point about his preferences!
while of course they were schmucks, i guess the whole thing begs one to question the wisdom of thinking you would pair up 3 couples successfully and have everyone be happy. the oldest of the group, i was assuming i'd get stuck with the guy with no hair, (not that there's anything wrong with that) and my other friend was afraid of getting stuck with the shortest guy (not that there's anything wrong with that either). it seems they were thinking the same thing about us. so while it was odd that they left, it would have been odder still i thought if the whole thing had worked out. especially given that we didn't (or i didn't) know these guys at all and while i was concerned about getting in a limo with 3 guys i didn't know, 8 was absolutely not going to happen.
i think i'm getting too old for this stuff.
so i've been seeing this guy i met dancing at the big easy. i think he thinks i'm too hard. i declined his sweet offer to go up to his place after coming back from another club we went to a few weeks later. then i joked with him about why he wanted to make me dinner at his place when we could go out near my place. anyhow, i guess he's already tired of the work i require him to do to accommodate what i want, b/c this saturday night he decided he wanted to do "paperwork" instead of seeing me. at all. anywhere. after he'd already asked me out. (in his defense there is more to the story, but still, as per my new motto, no excuses, he's now over.)
when i hear the word paperwork...(i think Nightmare in NY on New Years. which it actually wasn't, the event was awesome. it was the bizarre behavior of the guy afterwards that turned out to be that. another long story which i didn't tell you yet. anyhow, he too said he had to do paperwork. on new years eve.)
so anyhow, when i hear the word paperwork, i think toilet paper. as in, he would prefer to stay home and j.o. than to hang out with me.
as you can see, i'm pretty miffed with this guy and think i'll leave him alone with his paper and whatever he wants to do with it. in any case, he's already told me that he doesn't want to get serious as he's moving in a year or so (one of the reasons i've declined to get involved).
since i'm tired of all of the above, i text messaged another ex and said come c me. a real rules don't. awaiting his response.
which brings me to another point i've been meaning to write about. i'm learning the meaning of people choosing each other. i grew up with the experience of one person always being more interested than the other. namely the guys i dated were more interested in me than i was in them, because i was busy being more interested in someone else i wasn't dating. so the concept of being interested in someone and having it be reciprocal, is quite fascinating. especially if both parties have plenty of people to date, plenty of reasons to do it, and still, they find you the best.
though the sucky part is that saving the best for last sure wastes a hell of a lot of time...something i haven't got.
well, i went out with a couple of my friends last night. we were supposed to be picked up by some guys who had a limo. already a sketchy proposition i thought (not being that enthralled by limos) we found it even wierder when the guys showed up, came up one by one and introduced themselves, and then went away again. apparently to meet up with some coworkers in the back of the place while we finished our dinner. next thing we know, poof, they were gone, and the guy who arranged the whole thing was bemoaning the fact he was stuck in the car with 8 guys! needless to say we had some general questions at that point about his preferences!
while of course they were schmucks, i guess the whole thing begs one to question the wisdom of thinking you would pair up 3 couples successfully and have everyone be happy. the oldest of the group, i was assuming i'd get stuck with the guy with no hair, (not that there's anything wrong with that) and my other friend was afraid of getting stuck with the shortest guy (not that there's anything wrong with that either). it seems they were thinking the same thing about us. so while it was odd that they left, it would have been odder still i thought if the whole thing had worked out. especially given that we didn't (or i didn't) know these guys at all and while i was concerned about getting in a limo with 3 guys i didn't know, 8 was absolutely not going to happen.
i think i'm getting too old for this stuff.
so i've been seeing this guy i met dancing at the big easy. i think he thinks i'm too hard. i declined his sweet offer to go up to his place after coming back from another club we went to a few weeks later. then i joked with him about why he wanted to make me dinner at his place when we could go out near my place. anyhow, i guess he's already tired of the work i require him to do to accommodate what i want, b/c this saturday night he decided he wanted to do "paperwork" instead of seeing me. at all. anywhere. after he'd already asked me out. (in his defense there is more to the story, but still, as per my new motto, no excuses, he's now over.)
when i hear the word paperwork...(i think Nightmare in NY on New Years. which it actually wasn't, the event was awesome. it was the bizarre behavior of the guy afterwards that turned out to be that. another long story which i didn't tell you yet. anyhow, he too said he had to do paperwork. on new years eve.)
so anyhow, when i hear the word paperwork, i think toilet paper. as in, he would prefer to stay home and j.o. than to hang out with me.
as you can see, i'm pretty miffed with this guy and think i'll leave him alone with his paper and whatever he wants to do with it. in any case, he's already told me that he doesn't want to get serious as he's moving in a year or so (one of the reasons i've declined to get involved).
since i'm tired of all of the above, i text messaged another ex and said come c me. a real rules don't. awaiting his response.
which brings me to another point i've been meaning to write about. i'm learning the meaning of people choosing each other. i grew up with the experience of one person always being more interested than the other. namely the guys i dated were more interested in me than i was in them, because i was busy being more interested in someone else i wasn't dating. so the concept of being interested in someone and having it be reciprocal, is quite fascinating. especially if both parties have plenty of people to date, plenty of reasons to do it, and still, they find you the best.
though the sucky part is that saving the best for last sure wastes a hell of a lot of time...something i haven't got.
March 05, 2005
sometimes people surprise you. in both good and bad ways. you can find you've built relationships that survive the test of time no matter what happens. and then you find ones that melt away the first time the sun hits them.
life is a continual study of the human nature. those who evolve, those who deterioriate, those who remain stagnant in their behavior and in their souls.
i think it's because of this study that i keep up this blog. it's not just an exercise in me finding "the one". it's an exercise in studying what happens along the journey.
life is a continual study of the human nature. those who evolve, those who deterioriate, those who remain stagnant in their behavior and in their souls.
i think it's because of this study that i keep up this blog. it's not just an exercise in me finding "the one". it's an exercise in studying what happens along the journey.
January 15, 2005
a few good men...
...have shown up in the last few days. I mean sweet guys who do nice things because it's the "right thing to do." Guys who call when they say they will, call out of the blue, seem to have no (obvious) agenda and are generally just nice guys.
This is a whole new concept for me. Growing up with a jerk of a dad, I tend to allow that. But I'm finding that when you set limits on behaviour for the guys who are around you, the jerks just kind of de-self-select themselves & go do something else with their jerkiness.
I'm hoping this is actually a fact, not just a coincidence. But it's so much easier to be sweet and kind to guys who are the same. I wonder now whyI was always yelling at guys. I thought it was just cuz I was a bitch. Maybe they just deserved it.
I'll let you know how my new lifestyle works out. So far, over the period of this week, it's making me very happy.
And when you can put "men" and "me" and "happy" together in one sentence (which I didn't, but hypothetically), it is quite a surprising concept -- and i believe could turn out to be quite rewarding.
maybe all the good men aren't married. maybe.
...have shown up in the last few days. I mean sweet guys who do nice things because it's the "right thing to do." Guys who call when they say they will, call out of the blue, seem to have no (obvious) agenda and are generally just nice guys.
This is a whole new concept for me. Growing up with a jerk of a dad, I tend to allow that. But I'm finding that when you set limits on behaviour for the guys who are around you, the jerks just kind of de-self-select themselves & go do something else with their jerkiness.
I'm hoping this is actually a fact, not just a coincidence. But it's so much easier to be sweet and kind to guys who are the same. I wonder now whyI was always yelling at guys. I thought it was just cuz I was a bitch. Maybe they just deserved it.
I'll let you know how my new lifestyle works out. So far, over the period of this week, it's making me very happy.
And when you can put "men" and "me" and "happy" together in one sentence (which I didn't, but hypothetically), it is quite a surprising concept -- and i believe could turn out to be quite rewarding.
maybe all the good men aren't married. maybe.
January 12, 2005
he stabbed me with a pencil...
i'm having nightmares. literally. where i'm with all these cute, young guys and they're torturing me. literally. one of them threw a pencil at me really hard and it went 1/2 inch into my arm. another guy did something mean but i thought he must not have meant it. he acted like he wanted to kiss me and i was like, ok, what the hell. so i kiss him. and he puts something in my mouth. no idea what, but i walked around spitting out stuff for the next forever-when. it was nasty. then i was swimming trying to get away from them & one of them tried to drown me. all in all, not good.
i'm gonna end up 50 and single. i just don't know what there is about me that attracts all these jerks. but every man i've been involved with either bores me or hurts me and god knows why. i'm sure i'm not perfect, but i don't deserve these guy's crappy treatment.
another thing i've learned recently too is that apparently guys don't think i'm interested in them. i had 3 of them tell me that at separate times in the last 2 weeks. i gotta admit i'm not salivating over them (because they don't even live in town & prospects of me moving are slim) & they're not that energizing. but i did want to keep talking.
i'm really f'd up. something's gotta be wrong with me, i just don't know what it is. every guy out there can't be a loser so how come all the guys who like me end up treating me like shit?
i don't know what to do. i guess i'll just have to stop dating period. and buy this URL for the next 25 years. cuz i suppose i'll need it the way i'm going.
oh. one good thing did happen...the guy i have a crush on sat down next to me at a meeting the other day. no particular importance to that, it just was nice.
(who incidentally will probably show up eventually like he never mowed me down. watch...)
p.s. ok, so i'm exaggerating here just a bit. i have a good guy friend who's proving remarkably witty, supportive and reliable lately. so i guess ALL guys don't suck. just the ones who do.
i'm having nightmares. literally. where i'm with all these cute, young guys and they're torturing me. literally. one of them threw a pencil at me really hard and it went 1/2 inch into my arm. another guy did something mean but i thought he must not have meant it. he acted like he wanted to kiss me and i was like, ok, what the hell. so i kiss him. and he puts something in my mouth. no idea what, but i walked around spitting out stuff for the next forever-when. it was nasty. then i was swimming trying to get away from them & one of them tried to drown me. all in all, not good.
i'm gonna end up 50 and single. i just don't know what there is about me that attracts all these jerks. but every man i've been involved with either bores me or hurts me and god knows why. i'm sure i'm not perfect, but i don't deserve these guy's crappy treatment.
another thing i've learned recently too is that apparently guys don't think i'm interested in them. i had 3 of them tell me that at separate times in the last 2 weeks. i gotta admit i'm not salivating over them (because they don't even live in town & prospects of me moving are slim) & they're not that energizing. but i did want to keep talking.
i'm really f'd up. something's gotta be wrong with me, i just don't know what it is. every guy out there can't be a loser so how come all the guys who like me end up treating me like shit?
i don't know what to do. i guess i'll just have to stop dating period. and buy this URL for the next 25 years. cuz i suppose i'll need it the way i'm going.
oh. one good thing did happen...the guy i have a crush on sat down next to me at a meeting the other day. no particular importance to that, it just was nice.
(who incidentally will probably show up eventually like he never mowed me down. watch...)
p.s. ok, so i'm exaggerating here just a bit. i have a good guy friend who's proving remarkably witty, supportive and reliable lately. so i guess ALL guys don't suck. just the ones who do.
December 13, 2004
mushy, rushy, gushy, crushy
i have a crush. a mushy, rushy, gushy, crushy. he's all the things i like. dark haired, younger, shorter (a bit), a great dresser, good with people, smart, funny and generally makes you (me) feel wanted & accepted. oh. and he can't take his eyes off me.
damn. so this is bad. bad because it's so rare. bad because i literally don't even remember the last one i had. i think it was years ago. like 1994. oh. ouch. that would be 10 years ago.
i don't usually get crushes. i usually date people who find me wonderfully attractive and then learn to like them back. attraction is catching after all. however this guy is different. my assumption is that i liked him first. and he didn't catch on for a while until, well, he saw me all dressed up and now this thing is a real-live two-way crush.
the bad thing about crushes is they're just damn frustrating. and to break the frustration, someone has to lose something. me, i've got nothing to lose in this case. except my sanity.
the other thing that has happened is that i'm talking to this really cool guy i met online. the first one that i think i've found normal and attractive in a few years. of course it does help that my tastes in men have changed. this guy is taller, older, blond, and well, i don't know all the rest. seems smart, educated, with-it, and of course, the clincher, he thinks i'm stunningly beautiful (so he said). sounds like a keeper. ;)
so now i have two cuties to try to stop thinking about. i swear, how do two guys that i like happen along at once? and what am i going to do?!
uh-huh, right. nothing. absolutely nothing. we'll just see what happens & figure if there are two guys in this world i think are adorable, damn, there's got to be a lot more! :)
i have a crush. a mushy, rushy, gushy, crushy. he's all the things i like. dark haired, younger, shorter (a bit), a great dresser, good with people, smart, funny and generally makes you (me) feel wanted & accepted. oh. and he can't take his eyes off me.
damn. so this is bad. bad because it's so rare. bad because i literally don't even remember the last one i had. i think it was years ago. like 1994. oh. ouch. that would be 10 years ago.
i don't usually get crushes. i usually date people who find me wonderfully attractive and then learn to like them back. attraction is catching after all. however this guy is different. my assumption is that i liked him first. and he didn't catch on for a while until, well, he saw me all dressed up and now this thing is a real-live two-way crush.
the bad thing about crushes is they're just damn frustrating. and to break the frustration, someone has to lose something. me, i've got nothing to lose in this case. except my sanity.
the other thing that has happened is that i'm talking to this really cool guy i met online. the first one that i think i've found normal and attractive in a few years. of course it does help that my tastes in men have changed. this guy is taller, older, blond, and well, i don't know all the rest. seems smart, educated, with-it, and of course, the clincher, he thinks i'm stunningly beautiful (so he said). sounds like a keeper. ;)
so now i have two cuties to try to stop thinking about. i swear, how do two guys that i like happen along at once? and what am i going to do?!
uh-huh, right. nothing. absolutely nothing. we'll just see what happens & figure if there are two guys in this world i think are adorable, damn, there's got to be a lot more! :)