baby's got back
i used this header before, but this one relates to exes coming back. i heard today from another one (the one that i referenced before that didn't return my calls). turns out he is married, is getting divorced. never knew that. but nice to hear from him again...
the other one from years ago (that didn't want to talk to me for a while also) is coming to visit.
a current friend?? is coming to visit too. not an ex.
and then there's the guy i really like. also an ex.
none of this means anything really. it's all a work in progress. until it's a done deal i'll just play the ex-field. obviously the new guys aren't working out so well.
then there's the two guys i liked last year that i deleted from my friends on myspace. one of them i invited back to be my friend. the other one, an ex, i'm not sure about but i'm trying to reconcile.
life is too short to alienate exes. you don't have to screw around with them again, but might as well add them to the roster. you never know when they'll come in handy. and manhandle you again. lol. or not. oh well. the thought cracked me up anyway...
the main point is, every ex added to my life a little something & that in itself is worthy paying tribute to.
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so to respond to one comment by anon on one of my recent blogs... he said (of my required qualifications)...
"NICE - Usually this would be #1. But I think most people feel that everyone is nice on the inside, and that you just have to bring it out."
i'm very fascinated by this point of view. because as i see it, if people ARE nice, they will BE nice. i don't feel any obligation to bring out the good in anyone. if it doesn't find its own way out, who am i to go spelunking?
actually, i think we are all inherently selfish & evil in general & have to overcome that every day.
and then there is the theory that women make men into a**holes. so that's where the diving for nice is. me, there's a difference between nice & sexy. both are possible. you don't have to be an a**hole to be sexy.
oh well, viva la difference in opinion!
January 22, 2008
January 14, 2008
leaving loser-land
ok, well, my saturday night date is whack. first of all, i show up looking pretty good (if evidenced by the guys at the train station smiling at me & looking as they walked by) & his face shows no reaction.
ok, no worries.
second, we get into a heated discussion about a movie (bond movies actually) or something & he points at me, finger 5 inches from my face & says "you are a BABY!" and then he says "and YES, i'm pointing right at YOU!" i tell him right off, that is rude, to point at people like that. and that i'm really surprised he called me a baby, that is inappropriate.
later on i came back to it again & said, i can't believe you did that. nobody has ever done that to me before. no apologies forthcoming.
third, he mentions having strong feelings for a co-worker.
fourth, i get in this a.m. to an e-mail from him, 3 paragraphs (long ones) long telling me that i'm uptight, edgy, and that i never smiled. references the baby comment as a flirtatious comment referencing my innocence and youth. (at 38.) never references finger in my face.
i ponder, and write back that i had a great time (which i did), but he is entitled to his impressions of me. and regarding insulting me and telling me he has strong feelings for a co-worker, i will make no apologies for any negative reaction i might have had to these things.
fifth, i now know why he is single, never married at 48.
sixth, as two-date diva said, i thank god i'm not married to him. or anyone so crass & clueless.
sigh. he was good-looking & smart though.
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so i've refined my list. the reason i'm still single is because i haven't found someone single, smart, sexy & NICE yet.
(revise. actually i have, he's just not ready to get married yet...)
anyhow, i digress amazing how hard that combination is to find!
i have no pithy, witty comments today. feel punched in stomach, still reeling from the wierdness of it all.
thank goodness i'm seeing single!
ok, well, my saturday night date is whack. first of all, i show up looking pretty good (if evidenced by the guys at the train station smiling at me & looking as they walked by) & his face shows no reaction.
ok, no worries.
second, we get into a heated discussion about a movie (bond movies actually) or something & he points at me, finger 5 inches from my face & says "you are a BABY!" and then he says "and YES, i'm pointing right at YOU!" i tell him right off, that is rude, to point at people like that. and that i'm really surprised he called me a baby, that is inappropriate.
later on i came back to it again & said, i can't believe you did that. nobody has ever done that to me before. no apologies forthcoming.
third, he mentions having strong feelings for a co-worker.
fourth, i get in this a.m. to an e-mail from him, 3 paragraphs (long ones) long telling me that i'm uptight, edgy, and that i never smiled. references the baby comment as a flirtatious comment referencing my innocence and youth. (at 38.) never references finger in my face.
i ponder, and write back that i had a great time (which i did), but he is entitled to his impressions of me. and regarding insulting me and telling me he has strong feelings for a co-worker, i will make no apologies for any negative reaction i might have had to these things.
fifth, i now know why he is single, never married at 48.
sixth, as two-date diva said, i thank god i'm not married to him. or anyone so crass & clueless.
sigh. he was good-looking & smart though.
-----------------
so i've refined my list. the reason i'm still single is because i haven't found someone single, smart, sexy & NICE yet.
(revise. actually i have, he's just not ready to get married yet...)
anyhow, i digress amazing how hard that combination is to find!
i have no pithy, witty comments today. feel punched in stomach, still reeling from the wierdness of it all.
thank goodness i'm seeing single!
January 11, 2008
Making the cut
So the engineer that wrote to me on Yahoo! (not my sat night date) is out. He didn't call Wednesday night like he said, and he's out on the first strike.
He was saying wierd things anyway. Putting words in my mouth that I (or women) hate men, joking around about having a wife when I asked him, really focused on the fact that I looked in shape in my picture. Seemed very picky.
Dropped his ex b/c he found her making dinner plans with her ex. Dinner plans. Wow, I didn't know that was cheating. I debated whether or not I should tell him I'm still friends with my exes. And sadly, for him, they come first. Because some of them have become lifelong friends.
Ok, well, glad he took himself out of the running.
Onward & upward.
So the engineer that wrote to me on Yahoo! (not my sat night date) is out. He didn't call Wednesday night like he said, and he's out on the first strike.
He was saying wierd things anyway. Putting words in my mouth that I (or women) hate men, joking around about having a wife when I asked him, really focused on the fact that I looked in shape in my picture. Seemed very picky.
Dropped his ex b/c he found her making dinner plans with her ex. Dinner plans. Wow, I didn't know that was cheating. I debated whether or not I should tell him I'm still friends with my exes. And sadly, for him, they come first. Because some of them have become lifelong friends.
Ok, well, glad he took himself out of the running.
Onward & upward.
poor boy
the rules suck. you know what they suck.
last night my saturday night date called me. he was like, uh, should we be going out saturday night? i told my friend i was going out with you on saturday & he said "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?"
i said, oh, yes, because we weren't engaged? actually, i told MY friends how refreshing it was to have a saturday night date without it meaning you have to be engaged first. i told him how annoying it was to date a guy for months & not get a sat night date. you wonder when you're going to make the cut & who else has got the "prime" spot.
then he said he felt dumb for calling me. & i was like, nah, my other guy friends are confused about the rules too.
ladies, and gentlemen, the rules should be about getting people together, not driving them apart. it seems now that all the rules do is drive people apart.
f* the saturday night date rule. i wanted to text him back & tell him, hey, there are still 60 minutes in an hour on saturday night like every other night...and there are MORE saturdays in the future. so if you have a bad date, SO WHAT.
bush will still be president when you wake up. (UGH) (says this undecided independent voter...)
the rules suck. you know what they suck.
last night my saturday night date called me. he was like, uh, should we be going out saturday night? i told my friend i was going out with you on saturday & he said "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?"
i said, oh, yes, because we weren't engaged? actually, i told MY friends how refreshing it was to have a saturday night date without it meaning you have to be engaged first. i told him how annoying it was to date a guy for months & not get a sat night date. you wonder when you're going to make the cut & who else has got the "prime" spot.
then he said he felt dumb for calling me. & i was like, nah, my other guy friends are confused about the rules too.
ladies, and gentlemen, the rules should be about getting people together, not driving them apart. it seems now that all the rules do is drive people apart.
f* the saturday night date rule. i wanted to text him back & tell him, hey, there are still 60 minutes in an hour on saturday night like every other night...and there are MORE saturdays in the future. so if you have a bad date, SO WHAT.
bush will still be president when you wake up. (UGH) (says this undecided independent voter...)
January 10, 2008
blah
i feel very blah today. you know, one of those days where you feel it doesn't really matter if you live or die, no one will notice.
one of those life is futile days.
then i was standing by the elevator thinking, well, i guess it would matter if i HURT someone's feelings, so i guess i can try not to be a negative influence i guess. to look at things perversely...
i'm wondering too if i should attempt to get back with my workaholic ex. have i really changed? can i really be ok with him working so much?
i almost drunk-texted him last night & then didn't. my text ran along these lines: i don't want to get married for the status of it (which was his take on it, before i clarified that he was the one i wanted to marry, not just anyone), i want to get married so i can love someone & not have to stop. (thank goodness for delete buttons.)
but is that enough? is loving someone who is not around much sufficient for me? perhaps it is, since i grew up that way anyway, with an absent father. and now have been single for years. perhaps it would just be the addition of a secure, stable person that i love in my life, in fact that would be enough. even if the reality weren't all there. at least i love the guy more than anyone else. and have done so for years.
you always have to make choices. what is mine?
i feel very blah today. you know, one of those days where you feel it doesn't really matter if you live or die, no one will notice.
one of those life is futile days.
then i was standing by the elevator thinking, well, i guess it would matter if i HURT someone's feelings, so i guess i can try not to be a negative influence i guess. to look at things perversely...
i'm wondering too if i should attempt to get back with my workaholic ex. have i really changed? can i really be ok with him working so much?
i almost drunk-texted him last night & then didn't. my text ran along these lines: i don't want to get married for the status of it (which was his take on it, before i clarified that he was the one i wanted to marry, not just anyone), i want to get married so i can love someone & not have to stop. (thank goodness for delete buttons.)
but is that enough? is loving someone who is not around much sufficient for me? perhaps it is, since i grew up that way anyway, with an absent father. and now have been single for years. perhaps it would just be the addition of a secure, stable person that i love in my life, in fact that would be enough. even if the reality weren't all there. at least i love the guy more than anyone else. and have done so for years.
you always have to make choices. what is mine?
January 09, 2008
baby's got back!
back i am! :) in many ways. my cheater ex was good for that...being a personal trainer & all.
so i have a date saturday night with a guy from yahoo personals. a good 9 years older, but surprisingly, seems quite young! he actually asked for drinks on a sat p.m. for the first date. go figure. finally some guy doesn't think if you go out sat night you're engaged!
will recount details...check back!
back i am! :) in many ways. my cheater ex was good for that...being a personal trainer & all.
so i have a date saturday night with a guy from yahoo personals. a good 9 years older, but surprisingly, seems quite young! he actually asked for drinks on a sat p.m. for the first date. go figure. finally some guy doesn't think if you go out sat night you're engaged!
will recount details...check back!
December 27, 2007
trippin'
well, i'm back from my vacation, this being the ex-boyfriend tour. i visited 2 of them & texted a third (my most recent ex) to wish HBday. a fourth refused to return my call (i'll just wait a few years until he's broken up with this girl who forbade him from talking to me), and a fifth sent me sexy messages on my space.
life is strange. there is a time for wanting to marry someone one, and a time to refrain from it. with one boyfriend there was a time, but it is gone. i feel sad. i urged him to move on.
with the other, the reverse. i feel it is time (well, maybe in a couple years). so i pointed that possibility out. in a text message, lol. wow, i cover a lot of ground in text messages.
my boyfriends all know this.
i then texted recent ex & offered to take him out to dinner. very big of me considering i rarely forgive liars. (but then i seemingly have lied about NOT being friends with my exes, ooops.) he begged a rain check. i said fine. like it will ever rain. wait, i didn't say that. then. just now.
so that was my trip. ah. good to be home.
time to write to yahoo personals guy who has been waiting for me to return.
wait, it is raining. men. hallelujah.
well, i'm back from my vacation, this being the ex-boyfriend tour. i visited 2 of them & texted a third (my most recent ex) to wish HBday. a fourth refused to return my call (i'll just wait a few years until he's broken up with this girl who forbade him from talking to me), and a fifth sent me sexy messages on my space.
life is strange. there is a time for wanting to marry someone one, and a time to refrain from it. with one boyfriend there was a time, but it is gone. i feel sad. i urged him to move on.
with the other, the reverse. i feel it is time (well, maybe in a couple years). so i pointed that possibility out. in a text message, lol. wow, i cover a lot of ground in text messages.
my boyfriends all know this.
i then texted recent ex & offered to take him out to dinner. very big of me considering i rarely forgive liars. (but then i seemingly have lied about NOT being friends with my exes, ooops.) he begged a rain check. i said fine. like it will ever rain. wait, i didn't say that. then. just now.
so that was my trip. ah. good to be home.
time to write to yahoo personals guy who has been waiting for me to return.
wait, it is raining. men. hallelujah.
December 11, 2007
tag, i'm it
Here's the rules...
1. Link to your tagger (Two Date Diva) and post these rules on your blog.
2. Share 5 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 5 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
I don't have 5 friends :( to share them with but I'll play.
----------------------------
1. Five facts:
a. I hated to brush my teeth until I bought an electric toothbrush. But I still brush my teeth with my eyes closed.
b. I just started drinking beer during the World Series. Yes, THIS year!
c. I made out with a guy backstage at Carnegie Hall. In a little window that opens onto the stage...
d. I'm a real blonde.
e. I've been to 24% of the countries in the world.
Here's the rules...
1. Link to your tagger (Two Date Diva) and post these rules on your blog.
2. Share 5 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 5 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
I don't have 5 friends :( to share them with but I'll play.
----------------------------
1. Five facts:
a. I hated to brush my teeth until I bought an electric toothbrush. But I still brush my teeth with my eyes closed.
b. I just started drinking beer during the World Series. Yes, THIS year!
c. I made out with a guy backstage at Carnegie Hall. In a little window that opens onto the stage...
d. I'm a real blonde.
e. I've been to 24% of the countries in the world.
December 10, 2007
i'm lovin' it
i have been honored to be selected by two-date diva to try out engagement chicken. apparently, it makes a guy think wifely thoughts.
my thoughts are these.
i'm rushing out to buy stock in purdue. and i don't mean chicken stock. apparently purdue has struck a deal with de beers diamonds. the firm will receive 5% kickback from the diamond king due to their heavy influence toward diamond sales.
here's my meal plan.
first, i will light a single lavendar candle. or is it vanilla? just to be safe, i'll light both. then i will spritz myself with pheremones in strategic places (similar to the placement of the lemon on the chicken). then i will prepare some shrimp as a whore-duerve, or however you spell that. cinnamon rolls and pumpkin pie will be prebaked but post-warmed for best results. just in case he misses the pumpkin concept, i'll put a big one on the table too.
the wedding march will be softly playing in the background, and the table-cloth will be a paisley pattern of marraige license applications.
so the guy doesn't notice all this, a football game (not the patriots. i need him to be engaged. ooops, freudian slip) will be playing on the far wall.
then i will serve the engagement chicken, bowing slightly to my future master, while my right boob shows slightly through my unbuttoned blouse. this is further to distract the guy from the fact that i've never cooked a chicken in my life. therefore, the chicken is actually frozen & spraypainted golden brown.
my hope is that either he will watch the football game or grab my boobs & we'll forget all about the food. after all, being so anesthetized by the aromatic & seductive fragrances which are guaranteed to stimulate his lustier side, he should have no need to eat to get turned on.
if my guy doesn't propose after this delightful meal, i will call up my ex, and even though he's a defense lawyer, i'll have him sue purdue, which is in fact behind the whole engagement chicken concept.
i do think that someone should be held liable for the failure of this lovely meal to produce desired results.
i have been honored to be selected by two-date diva to try out engagement chicken. apparently, it makes a guy think wifely thoughts.
my thoughts are these.
i'm rushing out to buy stock in purdue. and i don't mean chicken stock. apparently purdue has struck a deal with de beers diamonds. the firm will receive 5% kickback from the diamond king due to their heavy influence toward diamond sales.
here's my meal plan.
first, i will light a single lavendar candle. or is it vanilla? just to be safe, i'll light both. then i will spritz myself with pheremones in strategic places (similar to the placement of the lemon on the chicken). then i will prepare some shrimp as a whore-duerve, or however you spell that. cinnamon rolls and pumpkin pie will be prebaked but post-warmed for best results. just in case he misses the pumpkin concept, i'll put a big one on the table too.
the wedding march will be softly playing in the background, and the table-cloth will be a paisley pattern of marraige license applications.
so the guy doesn't notice all this, a football game (not the patriots. i need him to be engaged. ooops, freudian slip) will be playing on the far wall.
then i will serve the engagement chicken, bowing slightly to my future master, while my right boob shows slightly through my unbuttoned blouse. this is further to distract the guy from the fact that i've never cooked a chicken in my life. therefore, the chicken is actually frozen & spraypainted golden brown.
my hope is that either he will watch the football game or grab my boobs & we'll forget all about the food. after all, being so anesthetized by the aromatic & seductive fragrances which are guaranteed to stimulate his lustier side, he should have no need to eat to get turned on.
if my guy doesn't propose after this delightful meal, i will call up my ex, and even though he's a defense lawyer, i'll have him sue purdue, which is in fact behind the whole engagement chicken concept.
i do think that someone should be held liable for the failure of this lovely meal to produce desired results.
what about bob
ok, so this nice looking 44-yo guy wrote to me, we'll call him bob. i've written back. he's an electrical engineer & seems NORMAL.
i just spent a weekend skiing. mmmmmm. found out i'm a closet ski racer. i'm now coming out of the closet & shocking everyone on the hill. they didn't think i was a ski racer when they looked at me for .0005 seconds, but i really am. they figured that out if the .0005 seconds was a view of my back. or they had no view at all but the sky...
a ski weekend as a single fast skiier is interesting. i had one v. attached nice girl (to a hot, nice HELPFUL guy i must say) ask me "are you going out by yourself?" yes, maam, i am. to get first run. because if no one else wants to, i will. that's what you do when you're single. you do.
i finally found a guy at the end of the second day who snowboarded my speed. sadly he's engaged, but he wouldn't have dated me anyway. i've never seen guys who ski well date girls that do. there's something about great skiiers or snowboarders that makes them want to choose either beginners or non-skiiers. which actually works out great for me, because i can ski with them. which is fun until their SO finds out and demands that they not ski with me anymore. which has happened. nice. so if you can't ski, you can still bitch, i guess.
this weekend i tried to avoid the couples. and the single guys that just weren't helpful. now this really grates on my nerves. guys who aren't helpful. more on that later.
in fact, more on everything later.
i'm going to love my mickie d's right now.
ok, so this nice looking 44-yo guy wrote to me, we'll call him bob. i've written back. he's an electrical engineer & seems NORMAL.
i just spent a weekend skiing. mmmmmm. found out i'm a closet ski racer. i'm now coming out of the closet & shocking everyone on the hill. they didn't think i was a ski racer when they looked at me for .0005 seconds, but i really am. they figured that out if the .0005 seconds was a view of my back. or they had no view at all but the sky...
a ski weekend as a single fast skiier is interesting. i had one v. attached nice girl (to a hot, nice HELPFUL guy i must say) ask me "are you going out by yourself?" yes, maam, i am. to get first run. because if no one else wants to, i will. that's what you do when you're single. you do.
i finally found a guy at the end of the second day who snowboarded my speed. sadly he's engaged, but he wouldn't have dated me anyway. i've never seen guys who ski well date girls that do. there's something about great skiiers or snowboarders that makes them want to choose either beginners or non-skiiers. which actually works out great for me, because i can ski with them. which is fun until their SO finds out and demands that they not ski with me anymore. which has happened. nice. so if you can't ski, you can still bitch, i guess.
this weekend i tried to avoid the couples. and the single guys that just weren't helpful. now this really grates on my nerves. guys who aren't helpful. more on that later.
in fact, more on everything later.
i'm going to love my mickie d's right now.