life stages
there's the prom
then the college dates
the weddings
and the babies
then the divorces
then...the illness.
2 people, very close to me - literally - have been diagnosed with cancer in the last week. my housemate and the guy that sits in the cube next to mine...
i don't know what to say.
to them either.
:(
March 24, 2008
March 22, 2008
in praise of brevity
my new scanty nightgown (pictured in past blog) is just heavenly. now when it makes it through the laundromat super-duper-dryer it may be half the size, but then when i start my new brazilian-bikini-lifesyle (as opposed to diet) i might be too....
speaking of brevity.
mr. ny and i are right in synch. that is to say, we are both succinct.
no long epitaphs. just calling me "sexy" speaks volumes. no need for more. how do you spell relief.
5 or 10-word sentences comprise whole e-mails and while some would chafe at the brevity, i am reveling in the fact that a man can actually do what he says he's going to do. (maybe in fact, because it's so little.)
in person whole concepts are discussed somewhat obliquely but with precision of speech. blink twice & the topic is over. really, once you know the answers, what more is there to say? after you find out, it's time for action.
and, to my surprise, with mr. ny i have yet to discover incidence of overpromising or underperforming. or use of poor judgement in either. this is not only rare, but suitably appreciated due to the my recent innundation of words that meant so little.
i am a woman of few words, maybe because i write all day long at work. in real life, make your point or get lost.
i guess i like quickie conversations. in and out.
and it's done.
my new scanty nightgown (pictured in past blog) is just heavenly. now when it makes it through the laundromat super-duper-dryer it may be half the size, but then when i start my new brazilian-bikini-lifesyle (as opposed to diet) i might be too....
speaking of brevity.
mr. ny and i are right in synch. that is to say, we are both succinct.
no long epitaphs. just calling me "sexy" speaks volumes. no need for more. how do you spell relief.
5 or 10-word sentences comprise whole e-mails and while some would chafe at the brevity, i am reveling in the fact that a man can actually do what he says he's going to do. (maybe in fact, because it's so little.)
in person whole concepts are discussed somewhat obliquely but with precision of speech. blink twice & the topic is over. really, once you know the answers, what more is there to say? after you find out, it's time for action.
and, to my surprise, with mr. ny i have yet to discover incidence of overpromising or underperforming. or use of poor judgement in either. this is not only rare, but suitably appreciated due to the my recent innundation of words that meant so little.
i am a woman of few words, maybe because i write all day long at work. in real life, make your point or get lost.
i guess i like quickie conversations. in and out.
and it's done.
March 20, 2008
the more things change, the more life gets better
well, i feel very successful.
2 of my exes - mr. busy & mr. possibility - are now returning my calls immediately, i mean calling back just b/c they saw i called. before they know what i want to say.
this is quite unusual, and means i've again earned their respect & ... anticipation! these two guys are the ones that i fell apart over, & they truly saw me at my weakest & relationship-worst. but, time heals all wounds & so does a new behavior pattern.
very happy.
i'm trying to make them both feel successful all the time. since they're very high achievers, i'm working on everything being great, you are the best baby. i'm also doing this with mr. ny. who was actually quite interactive yesterday, so maybe he actually was busy. maybe.
i haven't been good at making guys feel successful in the past. this is a recipe for disaster for most men, and definitely for very driven guys. since those seem to be my favorite kind, i guess i should be quite pleased that i'm finally able to change my behavior so it is now ... enticing.
my next goal is to keep up mystery. being a taurus i give that up way too soon. & since driven guys also like a challenge, i need to make a special effort to put that into the mix. sigh. that is SO hard for me. but since i like mystery so much in them, i guess, why not do it myself? i like mystery so much that i deliberately don't ask questions - because i like not knowing the answers. (that is, the ones other than, are you married?)
countdown to tomorrow, when i see mr. ny. i am crossing fingers that in the light of day, he loses all attraction & i say to self, self, he would make a great friend.
ha. wish me luck. ;)
----------------------
on the note of change, what have you ladies noticed that you have been able to change about how you relate to guys - & how is it working??
well, i feel very successful.
2 of my exes - mr. busy & mr. possibility - are now returning my calls immediately, i mean calling back just b/c they saw i called. before they know what i want to say.
this is quite unusual, and means i've again earned their respect & ... anticipation! these two guys are the ones that i fell apart over, & they truly saw me at my weakest & relationship-worst. but, time heals all wounds & so does a new behavior pattern.
very happy.
i'm trying to make them both feel successful all the time. since they're very high achievers, i'm working on everything being great, you are the best baby. i'm also doing this with mr. ny. who was actually quite interactive yesterday, so maybe he actually was busy. maybe.
i haven't been good at making guys feel successful in the past. this is a recipe for disaster for most men, and definitely for very driven guys. since those seem to be my favorite kind, i guess i should be quite pleased that i'm finally able to change my behavior so it is now ... enticing.
my next goal is to keep up mystery. being a taurus i give that up way too soon. & since driven guys also like a challenge, i need to make a special effort to put that into the mix. sigh. that is SO hard for me. but since i like mystery so much in them, i guess, why not do it myself? i like mystery so much that i deliberately don't ask questions - because i like not knowing the answers. (that is, the ones other than, are you married?)
countdown to tomorrow, when i see mr. ny. i am crossing fingers that in the light of day, he loses all attraction & i say to self, self, he would make a great friend.
ha. wish me luck. ;)
----------------------
on the note of change, what have you ladies noticed that you have been able to change about how you relate to guys - & how is it working??
March 16, 2008
sexy in my own skin
every time i watch meg ryan movies i want to be her. in fact, i once went shopping for a loung-wear makeover so i could look & feel as relaxed & sexy as she looked.
problem is, new england weather is damn cold, you wake up sweating in the middle of the night if you use a down comforter so cotton is ugh, and...the dryers shrink all my clothes.
with that trio of problems, i relegated to karen neuberger nightgowns. not sexy
so, in case you have the above dilemma - check out some cool designers like skanty. :) (shown at right)
or p.j. salvage (shown at left).
if you're in the market, check out this site (but not the prices on it).
k, sexy sleepwear coming right up.
oh, and, i just bought a brazilian (salinas) bikini this year too. it's gonna be a hell of a sexy summer for me! :)
every time i watch meg ryan movies i want to be her. in fact, i once went shopping for a loung-wear makeover so i could look & feel as relaxed & sexy as she looked.
problem is, new england weather is damn cold, you wake up sweating in the middle of the night if you use a down comforter so cotton is ugh, and...the dryers shrink all my clothes.
with that trio of problems, i relegated to karen neuberger nightgowns. not sexy
so, in case you have the above dilemma - check out some cool designers like skanty. :) (shown at right)
or p.j. salvage (shown at left).
if you're in the market, check out this site (but not the prices on it).
k, sexy sleepwear coming right up.
oh, and, i just bought a brazilian (salinas) bikini this year too. it's gonna be a hell of a sexy summer for me! :)
March 14, 2008
TMI
today on the train a woman was carrying a backpack that proudly displayed her birth control of choice in white stitching: ortho tricyclen lo.
i don't even know what to say about that.
ok, yes, i do.
i think i should ask plan b for a special advertising backpack.
that would get more guys than hers, because clearly - i'm insured!
today on the train a woman was carrying a backpack that proudly displayed her birth control of choice in white stitching: ortho tricyclen lo.
i don't even know what to say about that.
ok, yes, i do.
i think i should ask plan b for a special advertising backpack.
that would get more guys than hers, because clearly - i'm insured!
March 12, 2008
hot date
tonite i am on a hot date with my roomba. i bought it on sale at woot.com for something like $129.95 and for the first time i am letting it out alone in my room. i can imagine it's making snide comments about my level of housekeeping as it bumps into things & eats up dust bunnies. i'm turning a deaf ear because in the form of domestic help, it is my only vice.
and something like a child, it seems to need constant monitoring or it gets into trouble. if it doesn't get hung up on a piece of carpet it can't climb over, it eats things it shouldn't. when i went in the other room, it ate a kleenex, didn't like it, and then spit it all over the carpet. so i had to clean up after it with the real vaccuum cleaner. i will say its happy little song when it is all proud of itself & done cleaning is rather cute though...
anyhow, i hate to vaccuum, prefering instead to blog about random things like boyz and why i don't have one. well, one that i want, anyway.
last night i had dinner with a girlfriend & we talked about sex. this is about the only time i have ever done this (so far) and i planned a part b. something about knowing you're not the only one to feel the way you do that makes you feel much better.
apparently i am more european than american. which would probably account for the high number of foreign men i have dated. including mr. new york. my girlfriend said that american men are boring, there are no rough edges, and she sure has a point. they're also squeamish when it comes to sex & so particular & porn-addicted it's, well, what it is. i guess boring.
my intent with mr. new york, should anything further transpire (which he seems to be looking forward to) is to pretend that nothing has happened between us, and attempt to get to know him as a guy. one step forward, now it's time for two steps back. this not only protects me, but let's me see all the annoying things about him that counterbalance the sexy things, so i can keep life in its true perspective.
because let's face it, getting along is about who wakes who up in the middle of the night (mr. ny doesn't snore, nice.), who plays the TV too loud, and who doesn't really care about anything that you like. not that the third really matches the first, but if your life is made up of being cultured and thinking all day long, as mine is, it's far better to find a guy who things being cultured and smart is really sexy. otherwise, duh, either you will be bored, or he will.
i've also determined to acknowledge exactly what is happening at the time & not have my head in the clouds. forget how i feel when i am looking forward to seeing him, do i like him when i see him? like two date diva said, it's not the relationship of me to my feelings, it's to HIM. or a guy, whoever he may be.
new beginnings. sigh. we all want them. i highly doubt there will be any further than a beginning with mr. ny, due to factors that i have mentioned before, but since i seem to be infatuated, might as well start practicing up for the dance. never know when somebody else will ask me to dance & then i can use all my moves on him instead...
here's to change.
(and, that's not a political statement...!)
tonite i am on a hot date with my roomba. i bought it on sale at woot.com for something like $129.95 and for the first time i am letting it out alone in my room. i can imagine it's making snide comments about my level of housekeeping as it bumps into things & eats up dust bunnies. i'm turning a deaf ear because in the form of domestic help, it is my only vice.
and something like a child, it seems to need constant monitoring or it gets into trouble. if it doesn't get hung up on a piece of carpet it can't climb over, it eats things it shouldn't. when i went in the other room, it ate a kleenex, didn't like it, and then spit it all over the carpet. so i had to clean up after it with the real vaccuum cleaner. i will say its happy little song when it is all proud of itself & done cleaning is rather cute though...
anyhow, i hate to vaccuum, prefering instead to blog about random things like boyz and why i don't have one. well, one that i want, anyway.
last night i had dinner with a girlfriend & we talked about sex. this is about the only time i have ever done this (so far) and i planned a part b. something about knowing you're not the only one to feel the way you do that makes you feel much better.
apparently i am more european than american. which would probably account for the high number of foreign men i have dated. including mr. new york. my girlfriend said that american men are boring, there are no rough edges, and she sure has a point. they're also squeamish when it comes to sex & so particular & porn-addicted it's, well, what it is. i guess boring.
my intent with mr. new york, should anything further transpire (which he seems to be looking forward to) is to pretend that nothing has happened between us, and attempt to get to know him as a guy. one step forward, now it's time for two steps back. this not only protects me, but let's me see all the annoying things about him that counterbalance the sexy things, so i can keep life in its true perspective.
because let's face it, getting along is about who wakes who up in the middle of the night (mr. ny doesn't snore, nice.), who plays the TV too loud, and who doesn't really care about anything that you like. not that the third really matches the first, but if your life is made up of being cultured and thinking all day long, as mine is, it's far better to find a guy who things being cultured and smart is really sexy. otherwise, duh, either you will be bored, or he will.
i've also determined to acknowledge exactly what is happening at the time & not have my head in the clouds. forget how i feel when i am looking forward to seeing him, do i like him when i see him? like two date diva said, it's not the relationship of me to my feelings, it's to HIM. or a guy, whoever he may be.
new beginnings. sigh. we all want them. i highly doubt there will be any further than a beginning with mr. ny, due to factors that i have mentioned before, but since i seem to be infatuated, might as well start practicing up for the dance. never know when somebody else will ask me to dance & then i can use all my moves on him instead...
here's to change.
(and, that's not a political statement...!)
March 07, 2008
March 05, 2008
the plot thickens...
in an effort to maintain good will on earth, i finally call back bachlorette who has called me yet again. on the trip she overheard me talking to my new best friend about how to get to her wedding. she has called to tell me she did not invite my new best friend to her wedding & in fact, her guy doesn't want her there. he gets "bad vibes" from her.
nice. this girl was invited to her bachelorette party but not the wedding. this girl also chipped in $115 for drinks sat night for the group. i think she should get her money back.
bachelorette then tells me she's going dress shopping this weekend, aludes to me coming along.
for why?
i'm so confused. whose opinion should i trust? i guess my own. talk about bad vibes, i'm getting bad vibes from this whole fricken' wedding-selection-rejection process.
i'm keeping my new best friend, thank you very much.
in an effort to maintain good will on earth, i finally call back bachlorette who has called me yet again. on the trip she overheard me talking to my new best friend about how to get to her wedding. she has called to tell me she did not invite my new best friend to her wedding & in fact, her guy doesn't want her there. he gets "bad vibes" from her.
nice. this girl was invited to her bachelorette party but not the wedding. this girl also chipped in $115 for drinks sat night for the group. i think she should get her money back.
bachelorette then tells me she's going dress shopping this weekend, aludes to me coming along.
for why?
i'm so confused. whose opinion should i trust? i guess my own. talk about bad vibes, i'm getting bad vibes from this whole fricken' wedding-selection-rejection process.
i'm keeping my new best friend, thank you very much.
20-20 hindsight
this is when seeing single is a bitch.
i'm very shy & this is a cold & insular city. so to lose one's group of girlfriends & best friend in particular is shocking. in fact, i haven't been more shocked at something since i found out my dad wanted to divorce us. (not a freudian typo.)
when one doesn't have an SO, well, you have your friends & your g-friends & your family. losing any of these makes for a long, cold winter.
but then, what have i lost? seeing yesterday's events makes me wonder...
--------------
bachelorette: calls me to make sure i made it home ok on the bus, was i ok?
me: yes, i'm fine, thanks! no worries.
bachelorette: brings up my drunk friend topic.
me: i'm glad we were able to ditch my drunk friend without hurting his feelings. i've known him so long, i'd hate to make him feel bad.
bachelorette: well, i just don't care about people's feelings when they're not being nice.
(ohhhhhhhhhhh. yes. i see that now.)
--------------------
bachelorette: sends e-mail to thank everyone for coming out to party
me: writes back, thanks for getting us out to party for you. pix up soon!
me: puts up pix. is now done with the whole situation, thank you very much.
apparently my new best friend: writes thank you to me for putting up pix, thank you to mr. ny for showing us a good time.
bachelorette: writes to mr. ny telling him to come visit and we'll show him around.
(uhhhhhhhh, we? showing My boy around? i'm glad you appreciated the pix, btw, you're welcome.)
----------
bachelorette: calls me 3 times yesterday, never leaves message.
me: i don't pick up.
this is when seeing single is a bitch.
i'm very shy & this is a cold & insular city. so to lose one's group of girlfriends & best friend in particular is shocking. in fact, i haven't been more shocked at something since i found out my dad wanted to divorce us. (not a freudian typo.)
when one doesn't have an SO, well, you have your friends & your g-friends & your family. losing any of these makes for a long, cold winter.
but then, what have i lost? seeing yesterday's events makes me wonder...
--------------
bachelorette: calls me to make sure i made it home ok on the bus, was i ok?
me: yes, i'm fine, thanks! no worries.
bachelorette: brings up my drunk friend topic.
me: i'm glad we were able to ditch my drunk friend without hurting his feelings. i've known him so long, i'd hate to make him feel bad.
bachelorette: well, i just don't care about people's feelings when they're not being nice.
(ohhhhhhhhhhh. yes. i see that now.)
--------------------
bachelorette: sends e-mail to thank everyone for coming out to party
me: writes back, thanks for getting us out to party for you. pix up soon!
me: puts up pix. is now done with the whole situation, thank you very much.
apparently my new best friend: writes thank you to me for putting up pix, thank you to mr. ny for showing us a good time.
bachelorette: writes to mr. ny telling him to come visit and we'll show him around.
(uhhhhhhhh, we? showing My boy around? i'm glad you appreciated the pix, btw, you're welcome.)
----------
bachelorette: calls me 3 times yesterday, never leaves message.
me: i don't pick up.
March 02, 2008
bachlorettes, boyz & betrayal
i just returned from the oddest weekend ever.
bachelorette party in the city, for someone who i consider(ed) my best friend, but who is apparently leaving me off the bridesmaid list. in favor of girls who don't even show up to their own birthday parties when they know about them & try to scare boyz off that you are trying to pick up.
anyhow, clearly i missed the memo. which would have explained her distant behavior at the b-day party i helped her guy throw a couple days ago.
this is the same girl that two years ago cried and made a big scene with my new boyfriend because she was afraid she would lose my friendship. now the happier, more sexy & independent i feel, the less she wants to be around me. hmmm.
she's not wrong to not pick me, it's her wedding. if she doesn't want me around to show her up, why should i slink around in shame? nah, i'll hold my sexy head high. (might as well pick a reason that makes me feel better too, right?)
so now what? cross that wedding off my list? how does one get over that? yeah, you don't.
when i get married i will have no bridesmaids. i will just tell all my friends to wear the same color scheme & we'll all get in the picture together. i think bridesmaids is bullsh*t anyhow. but instead of fertilizing friends, the bridesmaid bullsh*t ruins them.
so on to the boyz.
i invited one boy on the trip, but he couldn't make it. boy #2 showed up drunk & we tactfully sent him on his way. the boy behind door three, a former co-worker, was hot and fun. and we got hot & had fun.
to cut to the end of this bizarre weekend, i found myself in front of the bus station & hopped on one. arrived home with no keys so i had to leave my car parked at the garage, & no badge for work, all stuff that was in my bag that i didn't care to retrieve from my "friends" after finding out how little i'm apparently liked.
my head is spinning.
i just returned from the oddest weekend ever.
bachelorette party in the city, for someone who i consider(ed) my best friend, but who is apparently leaving me off the bridesmaid list. in favor of girls who don't even show up to their own birthday parties when they know about them & try to scare boyz off that you are trying to pick up.
anyhow, clearly i missed the memo. which would have explained her distant behavior at the b-day party i helped her guy throw a couple days ago.
this is the same girl that two years ago cried and made a big scene with my new boyfriend because she was afraid she would lose my friendship. now the happier, more sexy & independent i feel, the less she wants to be around me. hmmm.
she's not wrong to not pick me, it's her wedding. if she doesn't want me around to show her up, why should i slink around in shame? nah, i'll hold my sexy head high. (might as well pick a reason that makes me feel better too, right?)
so now what? cross that wedding off my list? how does one get over that? yeah, you don't.
when i get married i will have no bridesmaids. i will just tell all my friends to wear the same color scheme & we'll all get in the picture together. i think bridesmaids is bullsh*t anyhow. but instead of fertilizing friends, the bridesmaid bullsh*t ruins them.
so on to the boyz.
i invited one boy on the trip, but he couldn't make it. boy #2 showed up drunk & we tactfully sent him on his way. the boy behind door three, a former co-worker, was hot and fun. and we got hot & had fun.
to cut to the end of this bizarre weekend, i found myself in front of the bus station & hopped on one. arrived home with no keys so i had to leave my car parked at the garage, & no badge for work, all stuff that was in my bag that i didn't care to retrieve from my "friends" after finding out how little i'm apparently liked.
my head is spinning.