healthy wealthy & single
well, interesting things lately.
last night i was feeling so bad & so tired of it i wanted to die. not a surprising feeling i guess for FMS people. some of them apparently have committed suicide. I WON'T so don't worry. but the thought is there.
then i suddenly remembered it was going to rain all day today. ah. it was the weather.
today i'm feeling better.
thanks for the support readers! that was awesome! :)
--------------------------
ok, so good thing i didn't waste time describing my date monday night. he just wrote me & said he had fun & the chemistry was there - but it was a 60 mile trip for him. yeah. and he what, DIDN'T know this before he left? right.
oh well. i wasn't all that about it anyway. he wasn't my type, although he was totally normal & i had fun.
on to my next dates - tomorrow night (John) and Friday night (Keith). i'm gonna have to get a secretary just to set up my dates.
keith actually sound promising. in an unusual manner, i've been e-mailing back & forth with him, something i don't usually do until i meet someone. but he's fun & whatever.
i'm so lol at mike blowing me off for the distance i'll just have to tell him about mr. ny just for fun. yeah, i guess it just wasn't there for ya. that's ok. i have guys that come out from NY to see me, so yeah. i get it. not.
oh well, the fact that i'm amused not crushed tells me i wasn't all that into it either. so not even my ego is bruised. oh hell yeah, i guess it is.
distance, dammit. ha.
October 22, 2008
October 21, 2008
life's a bitch
who would have thought that i would be so young & vibrant & have so much pain. it's the oddest combination. people are shocked at how i don't look my age. but today i was struggling to make it up the stairs from the train.
it's really not fair. this isn't what i imagined at all. i imagined having kids, a husband, (he never comes first, odd) a house, an SUV, a dog. but never being in pain like this. sometimes i cry b/c i can't take it anymore. less so lately, but still.
last night at my date, which was fun, i was squirming in my chair b/c my back hurt so badly. finally i had to say let's go. i was also yawning, but then, it was 10:30 so that's not a problem. but the pain.
how can i look so normal & be so f*d up?
the only good thing is, it isn't life-threatening. i mean, my half-niece has MS and she's not even 30.
but still. it's my pain. i feel it. i'm crying this morning. i don't understand. but then it doesn't really matter, does it.
that's just life. & it's a bitch.
who would have thought that i would be so young & vibrant & have so much pain. it's the oddest combination. people are shocked at how i don't look my age. but today i was struggling to make it up the stairs from the train.
it's really not fair. this isn't what i imagined at all. i imagined having kids, a husband, (he never comes first, odd) a house, an SUV, a dog. but never being in pain like this. sometimes i cry b/c i can't take it anymore. less so lately, but still.
last night at my date, which was fun, i was squirming in my chair b/c my back hurt so badly. finally i had to say let's go. i was also yawning, but then, it was 10:30 so that's not a problem. but the pain.
how can i look so normal & be so f*d up?
the only good thing is, it isn't life-threatening. i mean, my half-niece has MS and she's not even 30.
but still. it's my pain. i feel it. i'm crying this morning. i don't understand. but then it doesn't really matter, does it.
that's just life. & it's a bitch.
October 19, 2008
status
i'm supposed to meet 2 new guys this week.
one for monday night football at my favorite bar, we'll call him mike cuz that's his name.
the other one for ?? on thursday night. we'll call him john, cuz that's also his name.
we'll see how things go. it will be nice to obsess over some new guys for a change.
these guys managed to make the cut through my stringent online-dating screening. i now have posted that i will ask guys for proof of their relationship status (mwahahaha)and said don't even e-mail me if you are not commitmentwise & legally single as of the date of the e-mail.
in a funny story, one guy saw my post & totally got it. he wrote that he had gone out with this woman who was iffy about her status, etc. when he pushed her more, he figured out - her husband was his co-worker! she freaked out, making him promise not to tell. she was trying to decide whether to leave him or not.
yes, my status screening seems an uber cool idea. we'll see how well it works...
i'm supposed to meet 2 new guys this week.
one for monday night football at my favorite bar, we'll call him mike cuz that's his name.
the other one for ?? on thursday night. we'll call him john, cuz that's also his name.
we'll see how things go. it will be nice to obsess over some new guys for a change.
these guys managed to make the cut through my stringent online-dating screening. i now have posted that i will ask guys for proof of their relationship status (mwahahaha)and said don't even e-mail me if you are not commitmentwise & legally single as of the date of the e-mail.
in a funny story, one guy saw my post & totally got it. he wrote that he had gone out with this woman who was iffy about her status, etc. when he pushed her more, he figured out - her husband was his co-worker! she freaked out, making him promise not to tell. she was trying to decide whether to leave him or not.
yes, my status screening seems an uber cool idea. we'll see how well it works...
back-up plans
well, i see why mr. big always makes back-up plans. people are so flaky.
last night i was supposed to hang out with 2 girls. one was definite, one was maybe. i heard from neither, until the definite one at 11:16 p.m. sent me a text. yeah, i figured it was off by then.
don't get me wrong, i didn't really want to go out anyway. what use is going dancing in the cold when there's not someone else's warm bed to go to? james bond is more sexy instead.
but i mean really. i'll never commit to meeting them again. it will always be, yeah, check in with me & let me know what's going on. that's it.
they are now exclusively my back-up girls. hee hee, i have a chorus line...
well, i see why mr. big always makes back-up plans. people are so flaky.
last night i was supposed to hang out with 2 girls. one was definite, one was maybe. i heard from neither, until the definite one at 11:16 p.m. sent me a text. yeah, i figured it was off by then.
don't get me wrong, i didn't really want to go out anyway. what use is going dancing in the cold when there's not someone else's warm bed to go to? james bond is more sexy instead.
but i mean really. i'll never commit to meeting them again. it will always be, yeah, check in with me & let me know what's going on. that's it.
they are now exclusively my back-up girls. hee hee, i have a chorus line...
October 17, 2008
kittytalk
i'm learning my kitty's language. slowly but surely.
mruh! - mruh!
this is the sound he makes when i wake him up in the morning to pet him.
i do this twice daily b/c he is alone all day & he has just spent the night alone on the porch. this way he gets his kitty loving all at once, so it will last him all day.
last night i tried letting him stay around me while i was sleepily listening to the redsox game & he kept waking me up by jumping up on me or walking across me. hence, the porch.
mrow. mroow. mrooow. (in front of the cupboard)
where is that canned food you used to buy me? or those treats? how are you eating fun food & i'm not?
mrrr-rrr! (upward inflection at the end)
ooh, i have an idea! i'm gonna go do something fun right now!
mroooooooooooooowwwwwwwwww (in front of the door)
why can't i go OUTSIDE?
mroow mrowwww mroooowwww mrooowww (following me around)
hey, stop what you're doing right now and LOVE ME! (it took me a while to figure this one out, but i think that's what this is...)
YYYYOOOOOOWWWWWW!
you stepped on my tail dammit! now LOVE ME you big loser!
mr- (followed by me saying the OW part
i'm about to BITE you. cuz i CAN!
that's as far as i've gotten. pretty good eh? i think it's not bad for kitty-translation!
i'm learning my kitty's language. slowly but surely.
mruh! - mruh!
this is the sound he makes when i wake him up in the morning to pet him.
i do this twice daily b/c he is alone all day & he has just spent the night alone on the porch. this way he gets his kitty loving all at once, so it will last him all day.
last night i tried letting him stay around me while i was sleepily listening to the redsox game & he kept waking me up by jumping up on me or walking across me. hence, the porch.
mrow. mroow. mrooow. (in front of the cupboard)
where is that canned food you used to buy me? or those treats? how are you eating fun food & i'm not?
mrrr-rrr! (upward inflection at the end)
ooh, i have an idea! i'm gonna go do something fun right now!
mroooooooooooooowwwwwwwwww (in front of the door)
why can't i go OUTSIDE?
mroow mrowwww mroooowwww mrooowww (following me around)
hey, stop what you're doing right now and LOVE ME! (it took me a while to figure this one out, but i think that's what this is...)
YYYYOOOOOOWWWWWW!
you stepped on my tail dammit! now LOVE ME you big loser!
mr- (followed by me saying the OW part
i'm about to BITE you. cuz i CAN!
that's as far as i've gotten. pretty good eh? i think it's not bad for kitty-translation!
October 16, 2008
in out, in out...just like sex...
or not.
ok, this isn't a blog about sex. or actually it is, but i'm not gonna talk about that!
this is about how many times guys (2 right now) go in and out of my phone. one day i put them back. the next day i delete all their info. then they call & i put them back again.
and then i delete all their info.
right now i've deleted mr. big. i called when, monday & wanted to meet up this week? it's thursday.
he has until what tomorrow night to not schedule with me or i'll - just not answer his call when he calls again.
darn capricorns. both of them. grrr. time for new boyz to delete from my phone.
hee hee.
or not.
ok, this isn't a blog about sex. or actually it is, but i'm not gonna talk about that!
this is about how many times guys (2 right now) go in and out of my phone. one day i put them back. the next day i delete all their info. then they call & i put them back again.
and then i delete all their info.
right now i've deleted mr. big. i called when, monday & wanted to meet up this week? it's thursday.
he has until what tomorrow night to not schedule with me or i'll - just not answer his call when he calls again.
darn capricorns. both of them. grrr. time for new boyz to delete from my phone.
hee hee.
life goes on...
last night i did my first meetup (as in meetup.com) with the pool group. i am super shy, even though i don't look it, but sucked up my fear & went anyway. it was near the fenway & on the way over i stopped by the new bar that overlooks the field. way cool.
anyway.
had a great time! the peeps were awesome. we had an evenly matched team & kept switching partners amongst ourselves so no ones lost all the time. i got some new tips...hopefully will get better eventually. i'm the kind of player that at the beginning i'm good then my game slacks off. not sure what that is all about. but nobody really cared it was just fun.
on the way home i walked back to the t with a cardiologist & had a fun talk with him about real stuff (the economy yea!). it is a smart, nice group of folks.
i will go again!
this is super amazing for me. all of a sudden i realize - there are plenty of fish in the sea! and here i've been stuck in my little world hoping my guys would come around & love me like i want to be loved, while there are guys out there that i can just give the eye to & they're like hmmm. who are you? and they want me! then there are guys saying, hey, i didn't catch your name, how can i find you? i hope to see you again soon!
my boyz are just a puddle in the big sea of men!
it feels like i'm coming out of the dark. for so many years i've been insulated, or i've insulated myself. a lot through fear. but finally with new activities like this - than men will come out to, as opposed to dancing where guys don't really show up - i can have fun with no pressure.
i don't know if i'll go much, but at least it was an eye opener.
in other news, i resheduled my date for 2nite as i'm getting sick. he was very understanding and offered to plan the next one. yes. i was getting tired of trying to plan tonite. why do i let guys sucker me into planning? you want to meet, give me options, i'll pick. that's the way it should be done.
there are 3 or 4 other guys now that i want to meet. now that i've set up more stringent requirements on the dating site, it seems that i am getting better men.
or is it just that i'm now ready to meet them?
last night i did my first meetup (as in meetup.com) with the pool group. i am super shy, even though i don't look it, but sucked up my fear & went anyway. it was near the fenway & on the way over i stopped by the new bar that overlooks the field. way cool.
anyway.
had a great time! the peeps were awesome. we had an evenly matched team & kept switching partners amongst ourselves so no ones lost all the time. i got some new tips...hopefully will get better eventually. i'm the kind of player that at the beginning i'm good then my game slacks off. not sure what that is all about. but nobody really cared it was just fun.
on the way home i walked back to the t with a cardiologist & had a fun talk with him about real stuff (the economy yea!). it is a smart, nice group of folks.
i will go again!
this is super amazing for me. all of a sudden i realize - there are plenty of fish in the sea! and here i've been stuck in my little world hoping my guys would come around & love me like i want to be loved, while there are guys out there that i can just give the eye to & they're like hmmm. who are you? and they want me! then there are guys saying, hey, i didn't catch your name, how can i find you? i hope to see you again soon!
my boyz are just a puddle in the big sea of men!
it feels like i'm coming out of the dark. for so many years i've been insulated, or i've insulated myself. a lot through fear. but finally with new activities like this - than men will come out to, as opposed to dancing where guys don't really show up - i can have fun with no pressure.
i don't know if i'll go much, but at least it was an eye opener.
in other news, i resheduled my date for 2nite as i'm getting sick. he was very understanding and offered to plan the next one. yes. i was getting tired of trying to plan tonite. why do i let guys sucker me into planning? you want to meet, give me options, i'll pick. that's the way it should be done.
there are 3 or 4 other guys now that i want to meet. now that i've set up more stringent requirements on the dating site, it seems that i am getting better men.
or is it just that i'm now ready to meet them?
October 14, 2008
10 things going on with me
1) why do divorced guys think it's ok to talk about their exes? dude, i don't want to hear it. i told some guy this tonite. nicely. he can just tell me he has kid duty, i don't need or want to hear about the ex, just like he doesn't want to hear about ex-boyfriends. you deal or i don't date. (did not say this part.)
2) married men having affairs suck. i mean really.
3) i've been having night mares lately. i'm wanting to have sex with a guy & my family is in the room. and then i'm holding hands with wait, it's my co-worker. no, it's mr. ny who looks like my stalker ex. who is it?
4) i haven't been in a LTR for years. why?
5) i'm in so much pain. feeling so bad. FMS really sucks. i mean really. this is probably why.
6) my company is being sold. scary. but in good timing...
7) ...my landlord just offered to switch me to month-to-month lease. nice. he said he's not kicking me out, he just does this for people to make it easier. my co-house-mate confirmed.
8) i had to take back my first leather coat. :( waaaaah. it turned my fingers black. wtf?
9) mr. big has me on a schedule. he only wants to see me every x often. i have to ask how often x is. hmmm.
10) i have a date thursday night! my hip-hop teacher got fired (super-waaaah) but at least i have a date. may be i should make them every t-night.
....[nah nah nah nah nah...]life goes on...
1) why do divorced guys think it's ok to talk about their exes? dude, i don't want to hear it. i told some guy this tonite. nicely. he can just tell me he has kid duty, i don't need or want to hear about the ex, just like he doesn't want to hear about ex-boyfriends. you deal or i don't date. (did not say this part.)
2) married men having affairs suck. i mean really.
3) i've been having night mares lately. i'm wanting to have sex with a guy & my family is in the room. and then i'm holding hands with wait, it's my co-worker. no, it's mr. ny who looks like my stalker ex. who is it?
4) i haven't been in a LTR for years. why?
5) i'm in so much pain. feeling so bad. FMS really sucks. i mean really. this is probably why.
6) my company is being sold. scary. but in good timing...
7) ...my landlord just offered to switch me to month-to-month lease. nice. he said he's not kicking me out, he just does this for people to make it easier. my co-house-mate confirmed.
8) i had to take back my first leather coat. :( waaaaah. it turned my fingers black. wtf?
9) mr. big has me on a schedule. he only wants to see me every x often. i have to ask how often x is. hmmm.
10) i have a date thursday night! my hip-hop teacher got fired (super-waaaah) but at least i have a date. may be i should make them every t-night.
....[nah nah nah nah nah...]life goes on...
October 13, 2008
upping the ante
so i'm requiring my new online dates to be prepared to provide proof of signed divorce papers before i'll meet them.
:)
ok, i'm not actually looking for a fax, but i'm now asking that question. you do have signed divorce papers right? and what date were they signed?
next guy that shows up (and admits he's still married) will require all the others after him to show up with papers in hand.
hee hee.
welcome to my world, mwahahaha.
so i'm requiring my new online dates to be prepared to provide proof of signed divorce papers before i'll meet them.
:)
ok, i'm not actually looking for a fax, but i'm now asking that question. you do have signed divorce papers right? and what date were they signed?
next guy that shows up (and admits he's still married) will require all the others after him to show up with papers in hand.
hee hee.
welcome to my world, mwahahaha.
hmmm
mr. big called me last night. it was nice to chat with him again. since i do all the talking pretty much, it is fun to just chatter on about nothing.
this morning i decided last night whet my appetite for him. so i decided to try the direct approach, considering that he's capricorn. & we seem to keep missing each other on our cues.
i just left him a vm saying "hey i'd like to see you again, let's make some plans to meet up this week, ok? give me a call." that's about as direct and sweet as you can get. doesn't seem like he's gonna get around to putting me into his plans unless i ask for it.
sometimes i feel like we're going around in circles. dancing around what we want but not quite saying it. for example i send him a sexy text. he doesn't respond for days & then says, what was that about, in person. i'm like what text? i don't even remember, in any case the moment has passed.
i'm not sure if he's not getting the message b/c he doesn't want to or he just wants me to be really obvious. so - i'm being really obvious. i want to see you. let's meet.
we'll see how that goes!
mr. big called me last night. it was nice to chat with him again. since i do all the talking pretty much, it is fun to just chatter on about nothing.
this morning i decided last night whet my appetite for him. so i decided to try the direct approach, considering that he's capricorn. & we seem to keep missing each other on our cues.
i just left him a vm saying "hey i'd like to see you again, let's make some plans to meet up this week, ok? give me a call." that's about as direct and sweet as you can get. doesn't seem like he's gonna get around to putting me into his plans unless i ask for it.
sometimes i feel like we're going around in circles. dancing around what we want but not quite saying it. for example i send him a sexy text. he doesn't respond for days & then says, what was that about, in person. i'm like what text? i don't even remember, in any case the moment has passed.
i'm not sure if he's not getting the message b/c he doesn't want to or he just wants me to be really obvious. so - i'm being really obvious. i want to see you. let's meet.
we'll see how that goes!
October 12, 2008
penpals for the '00s
i met up with princessb yesterday & she was every bit as lovely in person as she is online! we had a blast trying out the local flavors of food, shopping & men in boston!
i was considering how odd it is to meet people in real life that you've met online, but then realized it's just the new version of pen pals. no more air mail letters & waiting for 6 weeks for answers back...
so we met this guy at the bar that noble-y offered his stool to us, and talked to him for some time. he was asking how long we had known each other & we looked at each other & started laughing. uh, like 2 hours i think?
princessb also proved my theory that people ARE the same offline as they are online. over the years in internet dating i have established this theory that if anything is wierd or "off" online, it will show up in the person you meet. princessb was not only exactly what she was online - she is even more interesting and fun in person. validating my little theory once again.
cheers to new blog-girlz friends! :) who else wants to come visit boston?!!
i met up with princessb yesterday & she was every bit as lovely in person as she is online! we had a blast trying out the local flavors of food, shopping & men in boston!
i was considering how odd it is to meet people in real life that you've met online, but then realized it's just the new version of pen pals. no more air mail letters & waiting for 6 weeks for answers back...
so we met this guy at the bar that noble-y offered his stool to us, and talked to him for some time. he was asking how long we had known each other & we looked at each other & started laughing. uh, like 2 hours i think?
princessb also proved my theory that people ARE the same offline as they are online. over the years in internet dating i have established this theory that if anything is wierd or "off" online, it will show up in the person you meet. princessb was not only exactly what she was online - she is even more interesting and fun in person. validating my little theory once again.
cheers to new blog-girlz friends! :) who else wants to come visit boston?!!