mad professor
the mad professor that i met at the beach is freaky, thank goodness i didn't meet up. i didn't return one of his calls earlier so he called again. the last one was please let me know if you want to meet up or not. said how it sucks to be the sunday guy cuz i was probably still with the guy i met up with on saturday & now he's left out. but maybe he can work his way up the list.
uhoh. doesn't sound good.
so i sent him a text. just to be nice. i've decided not to meet up. good luck & thanks for the invite.
so he calls again & leaves a vm ranting & raving, said he got some text or something that he couldn't read which was a lie cuz he read it. called me a player & why won't i tell him why i don't want to meet up. generally turned into an abusive control-freak. trying to get me to call him which of course i'm not going to NOW.
he then called again & left another vm b/c i guess it timed out. still ranting & raving, why do you do this to guys. i stopped listening.
called 4 of my guy friends, none of them around. at the last message he finally said he wasn't calling again, if he does i'm going to sic them on him. leave her the f* alone. one of my guy friends LOVES doing this.
what a mad professor. thank goodness i didn't meet up.
if i show up missing, here's his phone #, lol.
June 22, 2008
June 21, 2008
June 07, 2008
sleepytime reading
if you want some great reading & glimpses inside (mostly normal) guys' minds, check this out...
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts10123819.aspx
in other news, one of my ex-boyfriends is coming to visit. as in stay with me for 9 days. this should be interesting. this is mr. la, the one that wants me to marry him...
interesting summer this is turning out to be. i like mr. la. he was really good to me. he's almost like family in fact, which is why i don't mind him staying here. however, i really can't marry him. i've told him that. i hope this isn't a mission to change my mind.
if you want some great reading & glimpses inside (mostly normal) guys' minds, check this out...
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts10123819.aspx
in other news, one of my ex-boyfriends is coming to visit. as in stay with me for 9 days. this should be interesting. this is mr. la, the one that wants me to marry him...
interesting summer this is turning out to be. i like mr. la. he was really good to me. he's almost like family in fact, which is why i don't mind him staying here. however, i really can't marry him. i've told him that. i hope this isn't a mission to change my mind.
May 30, 2008
mrs-nomers
why do ladies have to call their husbands "my husband?" don't they have names? i just dunno why i'm so sensitive to this, but i really don't understand. it's probably not intentional but it might be. that status thing, rubbing it in the face of us single folks.
it's not just a woman's thing. i had a former co-worker who always said "my wife" this & "my wife" that. a badge of identification.
i'm so ME that there's not a lot of this to me. the closest i get to this is "my sister" did such & such. wait, i take that back! it's "my ex-boyfriend" in my world. that's all good. as long as it's not "my cat" i'll be ok, lol.
the other day i was talking to a friend who indicated that some people grow up socialized to be in relationships no matter what. she and i didn't. we were raised to stay out of them probably, lol. anyhow, we were raised to live "consciously" and choose our life. to not conform. here we are single and grouching about it, but - we are still developing ourselves. our inner souls did not die under the routine of a life that we assumed we HAD to assume (i.e. take on).
yes, the soul still breathes in us single folk. sometimes it's more asthmatic than normal, but still it breathes. within our hearts is always the hope that around the next corner, or perhaps in our little corner now, life will get better. it will because we aren't locked into the possibility that it WON'T. no matter how bad things get being a singleton, and no matter how much the smug marrieds may look down on us or flaunt their spouses - we breathe the air on the mountaintop of freedom. may be lonely at the top, but still, we're there...
why do ladies have to call their husbands "my husband?" don't they have names? i just dunno why i'm so sensitive to this, but i really don't understand. it's probably not intentional but it might be. that status thing, rubbing it in the face of us single folks.
it's not just a woman's thing. i had a former co-worker who always said "my wife" this & "my wife" that. a badge of identification.
i'm so ME that there's not a lot of this to me. the closest i get to this is "my sister" did such & such. wait, i take that back! it's "my ex-boyfriend" in my world. that's all good. as long as it's not "my cat" i'll be ok, lol.
the other day i was talking to a friend who indicated that some people grow up socialized to be in relationships no matter what. she and i didn't. we were raised to stay out of them probably, lol. anyhow, we were raised to live "consciously" and choose our life. to not conform. here we are single and grouching about it, but - we are still developing ourselves. our inner souls did not die under the routine of a life that we assumed we HAD to assume (i.e. take on).
yes, the soul still breathes in us single folk. sometimes it's more asthmatic than normal, but still it breathes. within our hearts is always the hope that around the next corner, or perhaps in our little corner now, life will get better. it will because we aren't locked into the possibility that it WON'T. no matter how bad things get being a singleton, and no matter how much the smug marrieds may look down on us or flaunt their spouses - we breathe the air on the mountaintop of freedom. may be lonely at the top, but still, we're there...
May 28, 2008
of birds & bees & flowers & trees
i don't often LOL at guys' dating profiles, but this one was just so "cute" i had to! this good-looking dental student or something writes of what he wants in a woman:
"I'm looking for a sweet, playful girl to accompany me in this - one who is as cute on the inside as she is on the exterior."
IMHO, this means a cute bitch. me, i don't think this describes me, so i wouldn't respond. does any girl think this describest her? yeah, probably not.
this is the part that kills me. in the question, where would you like to go on a first date, he says
"i'd really like to go for a walk in a park close by my place that has some really nice flowers and trees."
i'm LMAO.
[ROFL]
[still ROFL]
....
[still ROFL]
the last time i took a guy to the park - he got so bored he mentioned it when we broke up. :)
what exactly does a red-blooded man want to do at a park with nice flowers & trees? yeah, i see couples hanging out there all the time. but really, how sappy can you get. why doesn't he just say i wanna go anywhere that will get you in the mood - and fast - but still keep you looking cute!
[stops ROFL.]
oh duh.
i just got it. "close by my place."
NOW i get it!!!!
[starts ROFL again]
i don't often LOL at guys' dating profiles, but this one was just so "cute" i had to! this good-looking dental student or something writes of what he wants in a woman:
"I'm looking for a sweet, playful girl to accompany me in this - one who is as cute on the inside as she is on the exterior."
IMHO, this means a cute bitch. me, i don't think this describes me, so i wouldn't respond. does any girl think this describest her? yeah, probably not.
this is the part that kills me. in the question, where would you like to go on a first date, he says
"i'd really like to go for a walk in a park close by my place that has some really nice flowers and trees."
i'm LMAO.
[ROFL]
[still ROFL]
....
[still ROFL]
the last time i took a guy to the park - he got so bored he mentioned it when we broke up. :)
what exactly does a red-blooded man want to do at a park with nice flowers & trees? yeah, i see couples hanging out there all the time. but really, how sappy can you get. why doesn't he just say i wanna go anywhere that will get you in the mood - and fast - but still keep you looking cute!
[stops ROFL.]
oh duh.
i just got it. "close by my place."
NOW i get it!!!!
[starts ROFL again]
May 26, 2008
i do. you do? let's go!
the other day i walked down to the dollar store to pick up some kitty accoutrement. i passed some girls dressed up like the prom, who had parked & were running toward the church. the bride and bridemaids were waiting outside, with the poor bridesmaids wearing lime green dresses that i can only imagine the bride picked in her most evil moment of the year. (me now thinks all brides end in zilla. ;)
after visiting my 3 favorite dollar stores, i walk back with my new purchases (including fun things like hydrogen peroxide for kitty scratches and armorall car wash) and - voila. the wedding appears to be over!
i am so surprised at this, that i look around to make sure. sure enough, the same two girls are headed back to their cars.
my first thought was: wow, that was an expensive few minutes for her, i bet she spent more than i did.
ok, yeah, well she came away with a man & a whole new life, whereas i'm only washing my car and protecting myself against smelly-cat, but whatever. i still thought that, so there!
the other day i walked down to the dollar store to pick up some kitty accoutrement. i passed some girls dressed up like the prom, who had parked & were running toward the church. the bride and bridemaids were waiting outside, with the poor bridesmaids wearing lime green dresses that i can only imagine the bride picked in her most evil moment of the year. (me now thinks all brides end in zilla. ;)
after visiting my 3 favorite dollar stores, i walk back with my new purchases (including fun things like hydrogen peroxide for kitty scratches and armorall car wash) and - voila. the wedding appears to be over!
i am so surprised at this, that i look around to make sure. sure enough, the same two girls are headed back to their cars.
my first thought was: wow, that was an expensive few minutes for her, i bet she spent more than i did.
ok, yeah, well she came away with a man & a whole new life, whereas i'm only washing my car and protecting myself against smelly-cat, but whatever. i still thought that, so there!
May 23, 2008
return of the bridezilla
well, my former friend, the bachelorette is now clearly classified as a bridezilla.
apparently she invited my friend to her wedding after all - the one she called me 3 times to tell me was not only not invited, but NOT WELCOME. my friend made plans to go (knowing i wasn't). and she finally tells me this. fortunately.
i ask her when she was invited. it was in the last few weeks.
finally i decide to tell her that the bridezilla doesn't want her there. i start with "i didn't want to tell you this but..." she says, why didn't you tell me before! fortunately, she hasn't booked plane tickets, only hotel.
now she understands why i was so angry at bridezilla. i think before she thought i was just making a big deal of things. now she also understands why bridezilla makes pseudo-plans to meet up with their sons, but always stops returning calls to finalize their meetings.
so now bridezilla calls HER and invites her to a girls night out. Her, not me. bridezilla called on my b-day a few weeks ago & wished me happy b-day, which was nice. so clearly we're still talking to each other. and i have never said one word about anything to do with her wedding, behavior, my disappointment, or anything. we've never discussed anything. but yet, she invites my friend instead.
so confused.
why was my friend going to her wedding without me? hmmm.
more important - why is she calling my friend now? making me look bad. clearly she thought i'd told her, and then she figured when she sent an invite, i'd look like a liar. but i didn't tell my friend anything. lol. :)
bizarre bridezilla. no doubt the story isn't over yet...
my friend is now trying to figure out how to let bridezilla know she KNOWS she wasn't wanted at the wedding. in a nice way. this should be fun.
well, my former friend, the bachelorette is now clearly classified as a bridezilla.
apparently she invited my friend to her wedding after all - the one she called me 3 times to tell me was not only not invited, but NOT WELCOME. my friend made plans to go (knowing i wasn't). and she finally tells me this. fortunately.
i ask her when she was invited. it was in the last few weeks.
finally i decide to tell her that the bridezilla doesn't want her there. i start with "i didn't want to tell you this but..." she says, why didn't you tell me before! fortunately, she hasn't booked plane tickets, only hotel.
now she understands why i was so angry at bridezilla. i think before she thought i was just making a big deal of things. now she also understands why bridezilla makes pseudo-plans to meet up with their sons, but always stops returning calls to finalize their meetings.
so now bridezilla calls HER and invites her to a girls night out. Her, not me. bridezilla called on my b-day a few weeks ago & wished me happy b-day, which was nice. so clearly we're still talking to each other. and i have never said one word about anything to do with her wedding, behavior, my disappointment, or anything. we've never discussed anything. but yet, she invites my friend instead.
so confused.
why was my friend going to her wedding without me? hmmm.
more important - why is she calling my friend now? making me look bad. clearly she thought i'd told her, and then she figured when she sent an invite, i'd look like a liar. but i didn't tell my friend anything. lol. :)
bizarre bridezilla. no doubt the story isn't over yet...
my friend is now trying to figure out how to let bridezilla know she KNOWS she wasn't wanted at the wedding. in a nice way. this should be fun.
May 21, 2008
chicken or egg?
squeaky & i had a visitor for the past couple days - my favorite cousin. we had many interesting discussions about men, both of us being single & roughly the same age. she referred me to this author/lecturer (alison armstrong) who LOVES men.
i really like the concept. i think i'm gonna try to absorb some of the attitudes. reminds me of a friend of mine, a smart, beautiful, chinese woman who wrote an essay so in praise of men that it made my cry.
i asked my cousin why she thought the antipathy toward men started. she thought it was the feminist movement....hmm. i wonder if that's it. or did it cause the feminist movement?
squeaky & i had a visitor for the past couple days - my favorite cousin. we had many interesting discussions about men, both of us being single & roughly the same age. she referred me to this author/lecturer (alison armstrong) who LOVES men.
i really like the concept. i think i'm gonna try to absorb some of the attitudes. reminds me of a friend of mine, a smart, beautiful, chinese woman who wrote an essay so in praise of men that it made my cry.
i asked my cousin why she thought the antipathy toward men started. she thought it was the feminist movement....hmm. i wonder if that's it. or did it cause the feminist movement?
May 17, 2008
boyz & cats II
a few cool things have happened lately. as i write my kitten is on my lap, snoring. if you haven't heard a kitten snore, it's the cutest thing ever. now - i'm not lonely anymore. he's affectionate, playful and learns quickly. we're working on the not biting thing right now.
jack is back. by back, i mean talking again. yes, my ex, if you call him that, that wouldn't talk to me b/c of jealous wife. she's gone, he's back. nice.
and, i don't know how to describe this last one, but it's pretty amazing to me. more on that in the next blog...
a few cool things have happened lately. as i write my kitten is on my lap, snoring. if you haven't heard a kitten snore, it's the cutest thing ever. now - i'm not lonely anymore. he's affectionate, playful and learns quickly. we're working on the not biting thing right now.
jack is back. by back, i mean talking again. yes, my ex, if you call him that, that wouldn't talk to me b/c of jealous wife. she's gone, he's back. nice.
and, i don't know how to describe this last one, but it's pretty amazing to me. more on that in the next blog...
May 14, 2008
why men like cats
several of my boyfriends have liked cats. they like their independence. lately i've been researching how to keep my kitty, squeaky, from clawing me. he is claws out all the time. here's what i came up with - that made me LMAO.
now i understand why men love cats. in the below repurposing, i took the liberty of replacing the word "cat" with "man."
see how much you identify with this!
--------------------
Dear Gwen,
My newly adopted 10 month old man bites me and won't let me pet him. When I try to show him affection, he just runs away. I feel disappointed because I wanted a snuggly man. When he first arrived, I think I might have scared him by accidentally grabbing at him a little too roughly. He likes to play and will always greet me when I come home. He will rub his face against mine for a moment, but if I try to prolong it or initiate contact, he lightly bites me or runs away. Could this be his nature or do you think I ruined our relationship from the start? Can you train a man to like being petted?
Lonely Lynne
Dear Lynne,
I doubt that you ruined the relationship from the start since your man is happy to see you when you come home. He is telling you that he likes you when he rubs his face against yours. By running away, he is also telling you that he likes his space and doesn't want to be forced into being cuddly. On the other hand, maybe he is running away in an attempt to get you to play and chase him. He is still a very young man with lots of energy.
Some men simply do not like being petted or touched; others can be taught to accept and even enjoy handling. If his ways can be changed, here's a plan that has worked with most of my men/owner clients with similar problems.
1. Completely ignore your man. Pretend he is invisible. Take care of his physical needs (food, water, litter box, etc) but do not talk to him, play with him or even look at him. When he greets you when you come home - ignore him - just walk by as if he wasn't there.
After anywhere from 2 days to 2 weeks of this, he should be craving your attention and affection. He should be following you around, pestering and begging you for attention. Withhold your attention until he is craving it.
2. Begin to give him extremely small doses of affection. When he sits on your lap, stroke him 2 or 3 times, then get up and walk away. Gradually increase the amount of affection you give him, but always end the session with him wanting more. If you give him more than he needs or wants, then he will end the cuddle session on his terms (running away or biting to make you stop petting him). If you always leave him wanting more, then he will value it and look forward to it more.
several of my boyfriends have liked cats. they like their independence. lately i've been researching how to keep my kitty, squeaky, from clawing me. he is claws out all the time. here's what i came up with - that made me LMAO.
now i understand why men love cats. in the below repurposing, i took the liberty of replacing the word "cat" with "man."
see how much you identify with this!
--------------------
Dear Gwen,
My newly adopted 10 month old man bites me and won't let me pet him. When I try to show him affection, he just runs away. I feel disappointed because I wanted a snuggly man. When he first arrived, I think I might have scared him by accidentally grabbing at him a little too roughly. He likes to play and will always greet me when I come home. He will rub his face against mine for a moment, but if I try to prolong it or initiate contact, he lightly bites me or runs away. Could this be his nature or do you think I ruined our relationship from the start? Can you train a man to like being petted?
Lonely Lynne
Dear Lynne,
I doubt that you ruined the relationship from the start since your man is happy to see you when you come home. He is telling you that he likes you when he rubs his face against yours. By running away, he is also telling you that he likes his space and doesn't want to be forced into being cuddly. On the other hand, maybe he is running away in an attempt to get you to play and chase him. He is still a very young man with lots of energy.
Some men simply do not like being petted or touched; others can be taught to accept and even enjoy handling. If his ways can be changed, here's a plan that has worked with most of my men/owner clients with similar problems.
1. Completely ignore your man. Pretend he is invisible. Take care of his physical needs (food, water, litter box, etc) but do not talk to him, play with him or even look at him. When he greets you when you come home - ignore him - just walk by as if he wasn't there.
After anywhere from 2 days to 2 weeks of this, he should be craving your attention and affection. He should be following you around, pestering and begging you for attention. Withhold your attention until he is craving it.
2. Begin to give him extremely small doses of affection. When he sits on your lap, stroke him 2 or 3 times, then get up and walk away. Gradually increase the amount of affection you give him, but always end the session with him wanting more. If you give him more than he needs or wants, then he will end the cuddle session on his terms (running away or biting to make you stop petting him). If you always leave him wanting more, then he will value it and look forward to it more.
May 13, 2008
mom is coming to town
i've been following two-date diva's travels with her enlightened mom. mine is coming to town too, in june! gotta love when mom visits. she'll spiff up my new place, hug my kitten (she is very excited), and bash all the boys i've complained about. :) unfortunately, i'm now friends with them - or more - and so have to now undig them out of the dog house.
i've been following two-date diva's travels with her enlightened mom. mine is coming to town too, in june! gotta love when mom visits. she'll spiff up my new place, hug my kitten (she is very excited), and bash all the boys i've complained about. :) unfortunately, i'm now friends with them - or more - and so have to now undig them out of the dog house.