December 13, 2004

mushy, rushy, gushy, crushy

i have a crush. a mushy, rushy, gushy, crushy. he's all the things i like. dark haired, younger, shorter (a bit), a great dresser, good with people, smart, funny and generally makes you (me) feel wanted & accepted. oh. and he can't take his eyes off me.

damn. so this is bad. bad because it's so rare. bad because i literally don't even remember the last one i had. i think it was years ago. like 1994. oh. ouch. that would be 10 years ago.

i don't usually get crushes. i usually date people who find me wonderfully attractive and then learn to like them back. attraction is catching after all. however this guy is different. my assumption is that i liked him first. and he didn't catch on for a while until, well, he saw me all dressed up and now this thing is a real-live two-way crush.

the bad thing about crushes is they're just damn frustrating. and to break the frustration, someone has to lose something. me, i've got nothing to lose in this case. except my sanity.

the other thing that has happened is that i'm talking to this really cool guy i met online. the first one that i think i've found normal and attractive in a few years. of course it does help that my tastes in men have changed. this guy is taller, older, blond, and well, i don't know all the rest. seems smart, educated, with-it, and of course, the clincher, he thinks i'm stunningly beautiful (so he said). sounds like a keeper. ;)

so now i have two cuties to try to stop thinking about. i swear, how do two guys that i like happen along at once? and what am i going to do?!

uh-huh, right. nothing. absolutely nothing. we'll just see what happens & figure if there are two guys in this world i think are adorable, damn, there's got to be a lot more! :)