May 19, 2004

how do i love thee? let me count the ways...

it could be inferred that i don't like men. this is far from true. i think sometimes i have a basic misunderstanding of men, but that is true for most women. i, at least, struggle to see life through a man's eyes. but lest i be accused of man-bashing, let me just counter my sometimes-disappointments with some great features of the all the men i have loved before.

1) they are strong. they pick things up. and carry them. and open them. and move them about.

2) and with those strong arms they hug me.

3) they are rational. their minds are less clouded with emotional helter-skelter & PMS & whatnot. this is of course precluding their absolute irrationality when it comes to women and sex, but other than that, when they are clear headed, men think logically.

4) they like to please women. a lot. well. and are willing to learn what it takes to do that.

5) men are willing to work hard to support a family and do so even if they don't want to. because they know they are needed. which is #6.

6) good men like to be needed. and gees, it is great to need a great man for stuff.

7) men appreciate a beautiful woman. and let her know it. or rather, can't hide it. even when they should.

8) men do what needs to be done whether they feel like it or not. duty. code of honor. all that jazz.

9) men are the other half of what it takes to make babies.

10) men are loving and kind to women they love.

there, do you feel better about my little list? (i like lists. i'm a listy sort of person.) i do. i like men even better now. if that were possible. after all, if i did not like them so much, why would i waste so much time writing about them?!

May 18, 2004

the ties that bind

i'm sure i've ranted on this in the past, but i'll say it again. one of the most difficult things about being single is the attachment process. being the sort of person who gets attached at some level to most people that i care about, it is an ongoing and sometimes emotionally exhausting process of 1) deciding who to attach to / detach from, and 2) carry off said process.

there comes a point where you grow up enough to not cry over every little breakup & just go, well, it's not meant to be. next.

then there are the people you've been single with for 10 years and there's some history there and you just have to muddle through it the best way you can. and some part of you just wants to find a home and stop having to say goodbye over and over again...

May 16, 2004

view from the other side

check out this blog from a guy's perspective. damn. sometimes you're glad you're a girl. sucks to sit around and wait, but at least you can breathe while you're doing it...
sheep in wolf's clothing?

somebody wrote to me lately & observed that the guys i date aren't in tip-top shape. well, that's not what he said, but the point is, why don't i date up to my standards? is the ultimate question that comes out of that. it's a good question.

(annoying view of palm tree interrupts inappropriately)

for one thing i do date good people. but i don't write about them because sometimes they know i have a website and could read about themselves. i've gotten myself in trouble this way once or twice before.

hence, i write about strangers.

secondly, how does one know which of these strangers one should date and try to convert into the first group where they cannot be written about? i've been trying to figure out for years how to date good men. it's not like it's written in their foreheads like the mark of the beast. "i am a good man." rather one has to wade through tons of b.s. that is nicely couched in dinners, drinks, compliments, flowers, and generally spend a lot of time trying to figure out who is good and who isn't.

so i read through guys' profiles on dating sites & sadly end up judging through pictures. how shallow that is. but since a lot of them look like convicts in their pictures, it makes it a bit easier to assume they're not a good guy.

how do i pick a good guy to even go on a first date with? i still don't know.