LA-LA land

well, i'm out here in LA, came out with the guy i'm seeing. he's working in No-Cal mid-week, so i'm hanging with friends. right now i'm staying with a friend, former date. it's interesting.

you change.

years ago i thought this guy was just IT. as many girls do now. however, in comparison with the guy i'm dating now, well, let's just say i can't wait to see my guy this weekend.

my guy makes me feel great.

the analyzation of how someone makes you feel when you are around them is done way too little. you tend to get hung up in what lifestyle somebody has that you want, who you would or could be if you were with someone, or how great they are in bed. and forget - who am i when i'm there?

it is hard for me to maintain my sense of self. and when i am around someone with a strong one, i will aquiesce to theirs. and there i go. however, when i am with someone who encourages me to be ME, it is a whole. new. world.

with my guy, i am ME. i am not an extension of him. i do not exist merely to satellite around his world. and that feels great.

sometimes you wonder why you do or do not end up with people in life. though i used to think there was something i did that made things not happen, it seems to me know it is a combination of events that makes you hang with certain people and not others. i have learned to trust that combination.

and...in turn, it creates how i feel.

how i feel is very important. it is an indicator of how much my needs are getting met.

i've decided my needs are very important. so i am seeking people that meet them. aka my new guy.

yes. counting down the minutes until i see him again. or rather. until i feel like my best ME again...