Making the cut

So the engineer that wrote to me on Yahoo! (not my sat night date) is out. He didn't call Wednesday night like he said, and he's out on the first strike.

He was saying wierd things anyway. Putting words in my mouth that I (or women) hate men, joking around about having a wife when I asked him, really focused on the fact that I looked in shape in my picture. Seemed very picky.

Dropped his ex b/c he found her making dinner plans with her ex. Dinner plans. Wow, I didn't know that was cheating. I debated whether or not I should tell him I'm still friends with my exes. And sadly, for him, they come first. Because some of them have become lifelong friends.

Ok, well, glad he took himself out of the running.

Onward & upward.

poor boy

the rules suck. you know what they suck.

last night my saturday night date called me. he was like, uh, should we be going out saturday night? i told my friend i was going out with you on saturday & he said "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?"

i said, oh, yes, because we weren't engaged? actually, i told MY friends how refreshing it was to have a saturday night date without it meaning you have to be engaged first. i told him how annoying it was to date a guy for months & not get a sat night date. you wonder when you're going to make the cut & who else has got the "prime" spot.

then he said he felt dumb for calling me. & i was like, nah, my other guy friends are confused about the rules too.

ladies, and gentlemen, the rules should be about getting people together, not driving them apart. it seems now that all the rules do is drive people apart.

f* the saturday night date rule. i wanted to text him back & tell him, hey, there are still 60 minutes in an hour on saturday night like every other night...and there are MORE saturdays in the future. so if you have a bad date, SO WHAT.

bush will still be president when you wake up. (UGH) (says this undecided independent voter...)

blah

i feel very blah today. you know, one of those days where you feel it doesn't really matter if you live or die, no one will notice.

one of those life is futile days.

then i was standing by the elevator thinking, well, i guess it would matter if i HURT someone's feelings, so i guess i can try not to be a negative influence i guess. to look at things perversely...

i'm wondering too if i should attempt to get back with my workaholic ex. have i really changed? can i really be ok with him working so much?

i almost drunk-texted him last night & then didn't. my text ran along these lines: i don't want to get married for the status of it (which was his take on it, before i clarified that he was the one i wanted to marry, not just anyone), i want to get married so i can love someone & not have to stop. (thank goodness for delete buttons.)

but is that enough? is loving someone who is not around much sufficient for me? perhaps it is, since i grew up that way anyway, with an absent father. and now have been single for years. perhaps it would just be the addition of a secure, stable person that i love in my life, in fact that would be enough. even if the reality weren't all there. at least i love the guy more than anyone else. and have done so for years.

you always have to make choices. what is mine?

baby's got back!

back i am! :) in many ways. my cheater ex was good for that...being a personal trainer & all.

so i have a date saturday night with a guy from yahoo personals. a good 9 years older, but surprisingly, seems quite young! he actually asked for drinks on a sat p.m. for the first date. go figure. finally some guy doesn't think if you go out sat night you're engaged!

will recount details...check back!