March 30, 2009

spring cleaning

i am taking a few guys out of my phone.

again.

mr. busy, gone.
mr. ny (now moved here), gone. along with an e-mail that he hurt my feelings by not wanting to meet up WTF.
mr. jack is back. gone.

these guys. urgh.

they will never be what i want or can deal with. i am very back & forth with them.

urgh. myself.
i'm done with you

last night i met up with the guy who i dated 5 years ago, who was getting divorced & ultimately left b/c he wasn't ready for a new r-ship.

i met him & was somewhat surprised i guess that he'd gained a little weight. i wasn't blown away, but he is attractive and articulate and i had fun talking with him.

so we talked for about 3 hours, over a couple drinks & a great dinner. then we were talking & the conversation took an interesting turn. he started to talk like nice to see you, hope the best for you, etc. & then at some point he blurted out in his normal but strange way, "i'm done with you."

i was somewhat surprised by the statement b/c hey, who says this. anyhow. i was like, uh, okayyyyy, in an unsure but whatever way. & then he said, "wait, no i'm not done with you."

so he then tried to backtrack.

we got out to the car & he is telling me he is taking it back. this whole statement was right after i got done telling him that people tell you outright what they think & if you just listen, you'll know. so then he says this not 5 minutes later.

so he wants to kiss me goodnight & i do. it's ok, not crazy but nice. somewhat i remember him being before. & says he'll call. so we get in cars.

& i call mr. busy. who is tired from a ski trip & doesn't want to meet up but chats for a while.

anyhow. why am i far more interested in mr. busy. ugh.

but what is really interesting is that - i don't know what to make of this. i don't like to ignore statements like that, b/c at the least, i think they show a certain level of conflict in feelings about me. at the worst, he means it. at the best, it means - well, that he says stupid stuff.

so i'm not sure if i should just try to ignore it or say i think you probably actually meant that.

hmmm.