not only the lonely

[let me just start this post by giving a shout-out to my new blogger friend, two date diva, whose adventures i intend to follow with the greatest of interest. check out her blog, link to the right. of your screen. yes, there, under the picture.]

message boards are great for newly broken up folks. if you're used to that daily e-mail from your guy, you can now have some stranger yell at you on a routine basis. helps to balance things out, just in case you start feeling low. tips the scales toward lower, which is very helpful because then...you just see-saw back higher when some other stranger yells at the bitchy stranger for you. he just got your back.

wow. you have friends.

[in a small or not so small aside, this is a very interesting topic. the environment of message boards. there are some resident bitches who like to hang there and sting everyone. i think they're all scorpios. then they end their statements by saying "i didn't mean to be mean but..." didja now? thanks for pointing out that word mean, like twice, just in case we ran out of kleenex & didn't notice that's why we were crying there BITCH.

similar to what's his face, the alleged cop killer that was interviewed on the today show today. did you notice how he managed to throw the words in "i did it?" in the phrase, "according to the media..."? if that wasn't interesting enough, he actually LAUGHED when he was asking his wife to come back. why? in the words of my favorite murder mystery writers, "because he knows she is already dead!" hello.]

in light of that [meaning the message board in case you got lost], i'll post a new message board friend's response to my mad hattress post.

"Speaking of hats!!

You went on to say "but i will say, for any girl who wants to catch a guy's attention - baseball caps do it. i can't count the # of guys tonite that looked at me twice & then up & down" There is an article titled "8 Suprising Turn-ons for Men" number 3 is Baseall Caps. It says you are strong,sporty,comfortable kicking back. It also goes to say it can get you into conversations about your favorite team..."

thanks dude!

to update. today i'm wearing a black newsboy hat, crocheted. you'd a thunk i turned into a model. if baseball caps rate #3, this rates #4. i coulda grabbed about 5 guys & kissed them right on the street just on the way to get lunch, & they woulda loved it. (for a couple so would i!)

go hats. this winter, i AM the mad hattress! boys of boston, be afraid. be very afraid.

king of sexyback mountain

so it's been a few months since my break-up & i'm finally getting back to normal again. other than a few sad feelings here & there, i think i've left my ex in the dust to pine about me & miss me when he least expects it. or not. whatever. who cares.

it really takes a lot of work to get back to the who cares spot. it's like the pinnacle of a mountain ruled only by me, where i emerge victorious & sexyback, after much hard-earned climbing. talk about blood, sweat & tears. i earned the king of the mountain spot, every time, dammit.

but, as fate would have it, men are men. and as soon as i get there, lonely and strong, some other sexy adventurer wants to come along & knock me off my pinnacle. and into his arms. or bed. (and as you know, after cold, lonely, mountain wandering, frigid temperatures from other women, & the gale wind at the top, beds are a very friendly place to be.) besides, it's lonely at the top. don't let anyone convince you otherwise.

this scenario has happened more times than i can count. the break-up, the long-hard road up sexyback mountain, planting my flag with great ceremony (usually a small, onion pizza & a large martini). & then being swept off the mountain nearly against my will into yet another relationship, which somehow seems more promising than the last one i just ran kicking and screaming from.

& then reality hits, & the "nooks & crannies" of relationship mountaineering starts all over again.

anyway, back to the point. it's invariable that when you're hot & single & waving this "i don't give a f* about you" flag, all kinds of hot kings of the mountains appear to rule YOUR mountain.

ok. i give in. bring 'em on. my flag is being printed as we speak...