January 26, 2009

ghosts in the closet

there is that period of getting to know someone new when you just wait for all the ghosts-of-relationships-past to pop out of the closet & freak you out. or make you fall down the stairs & kill ya.

this is one of those times.

the elephant in the room between my doc & i is - why are we both so hot & still single? i'm not sure if i will bring it up, but it's like so fricken' obvious that the question is there.

wonder if i should try to just have a white elephant sale instead of pointing out that there is one. maybe the new buyers could come get it while his head is turned. or mine.

:)
undependence

the transition from being a successful working woman to a sweet girlfriend is not an easy one. i mean, that is if you like a man to be a man & you to be sweet & nice.

how the hell do you get things done? this will be interesting.

i'm so used to just making decisions & doing them. like i want to travel here, so i'll buy a plane ticket & go. now i'm waiting to see what will happen after i've made a couple comments about it. time to sit tight. it's odd to be out of control. v. uncomfortable.

i was talking to a friend online that married at 38. she was telling me about the power struggles she & her husband are having. yes, that will be me. i'm so used to doing my own thing it's hard to NOT.

effecting change when there are broader objectives than your own is a definite skill. it's not one i'm particularly acquainted with, but i definitely want to learn it. being taken care of by a man whose judgment i trust is valuable to me. i'm tired of running everything on my own. so now if i give up that right, i have to take deep breaths & try to figure out my next strategy.

after all, you can't tell a guy what you want & also tell him how to get it done...