FWB

this guy's take on FWB is interesting...

"If I ever do find myself in another serious relationship it will have grown from a FWB relationship. If you're interested in the guy go for it. Think of it as a mutual test drive. FWB is a much more HONEST relationship than dating or starting off with the intent of long term. Since it's more casual and relaxed you get to know who the person REALLY is a lot faster because you aren't trying to impress or woo each other. And you're a lot less willing to turn a blind eye to any red flags that pop up. If you two are really compatible it will naturally progress from there."

i kinda like this view...sure saves energy on the game-playing. thing is you gotta be water-safety-instructed. no use realizing when you're in over you're head that you can't swim.

of course, it takes into account, that being a woman, i am swimming in emotion. so there you have it. i've decided no FWB. i want the whole cahuna or cajones, whatever you say. what's the purpose of drowning myself while the guy sails off into the sunset with someone else?

nada.

selling without inventory

i don't know why guys have to sell us on relationships to get us to have sex. especially if the deed is already done.

if you just want sex dude, do that. i clearly had sex with you already without having a relationship. why confuse us both with pretending you want one? don't be all up in my life, wanting to know all about it. just want to fuck me? then just do that.

yeah, sure, i like you. i'd like a relationship with a cool guy. but if that's not you, then it's not you.

life goes on.

middle earth

i'm a highly emotional person.

i'm also highly analytical.

this drives me crazy.

so to get over this guy & all others, i've decided to create a place called middle earth.

in middle earth, i am neither. i just AM.

i go to that place in my head and let everything go. i don't feel, i don't think, i just be.

ah PEACE.

shoots & ladders

girls, you CAN'T miss this! LMAO.

found this on my search trying to figure out if mr. ny actually only wants to be friends, or just agreed b/c i called it first...

http://www.laddertheory.com/

tigress luv

ladies if you haven't yet met the tigress, allow me to introduce you.

actually, she is no longer around, but her writings are at liftedhearts.net.

this is my favorite break-up, make-up and fake-up site.

luv it...

just one look

well, to my surprise, mr. ny apparently meant it about being good friends. the "good" was his addition. regardless, i did too. i still tried to help him with a job search & he was like, see you can be nice when you want to be. i replied, of course i am sweet when i can be. (CAN be. as in, you make it possible.)

so anyhow, yesterday i was all emotional about something & since he had said call anytime, I e-mailed & said, this is me calling. how do i handle this, mr. rational?

he called me immediately & we talked through it. this really surprised me as i haven't dated (or non-dated) a guy before who has been so responsive when i ask for something. he asked me if i was ok, which i thought was the sweetest thing. oddly enough, his advice was something i had done already. (i didn't tell him that.) so obviously i thought it was right on. again underscoring why i liked the guy in the first place.

at the end of the conversation he called me "cutie" as usual, which i didn't expect. i sent back a cyber-kiss & a you rock just to make him feel successful. which i thought he needed after the disastrous weekend.

after the drama of the weekend this is a surprising turn of events. i will def keep him in my little black book - just realizing we can make no plans of any kind which i think he will find funny to bump up against. sometimes it's pretty amusing to entrap people in their own behavior & let them see just how crazy it is. oh, i'd love to see you, but since we can't make any plans, why don't you just give me a call & see if i'm still available while you're on your way over. ;) can't wait to say that.

also last night i went out with mr. reporter from ny, an industry contact. he has a girl, which is fine, but we had a great time with dinner & then stopped by this irish bar with live music. i had a blast & just the time i spent looking at him thinking "hmmm, is he still with his girl or not?" was enough time for me to realize mr. ny isn't the end of the line, plenty more guys out there.

sometimes just one look is all you need to remind you - love is right around the corner.

actually, there could be some more love around the last corner, which is what i think both of us is counting on, even though we don't get along well. but it's always more important to see around the next bend than focus on the last one where you ran over the curb.

war stories

cow-girl-up chicas, here's a chance for you to get your best-of-the-worst dating stories published...

hop scotch

well, i'm back to square 1 with mr. ny at my request.

we are friends & i can call him anytime. which is basically i guess all i want anyway. you can't make plans with someone who won't plan & you can't date someone who doesn't want to explain themselves (even as to logistics) so that's what we have left.

he might make a great friend. we'll see.

at least i figured this out in a long weekend & not in 6 months.

definitely something to be said for straightforward guys. you know what's going on, no BS, and if you don't like it you know what to do.

play hop scotch.

self-revelation

well, after all my emotions have calmed down, i am rethinking the weekend & wondering if my friends weren't right to say i overreacted. not in terms of action, but in emotional response.

i'm so tired of rehashing the weekend and my opinion keeps changing so radically as i lose my emotional response, that i've deleted much of it from my blog. however, regardless of this weekend, i really need to figure out how to ACT less emotional and ACT more rational. regardless of how i feel.

any women out there find this easy to do?

let me rephrase. any women out there able to do this at ALL?

yeah, from the proliferation of e-mails from paige parker & christian carter on this topic, i thought not...

seeking single

apparently 59% of british women surveyed would divorce their husbands if they could make it ok on their own.

:) i don't feel so lonely now...being self-supporting, with money to burn, and able to tell guys...

"be good to me or go..."

christian conversion

i read christian carter's e-mails every day. yeah, this is even though i slammed him a while ago cuz someone else did. personally, i don't care really who writes the stuff, as long as i learn something from it.

as i read today about how it is up to me to take a guy to where i want the relationship to be (because according to him, i can do this), i look up on the shelf & see the 4 agreements sitting there. i think to self, hmmm, self, how can i take a guy to where i want the relationship to be - if nothing he does is about me?

christian carter misses an important point: a guy is at what stage he is at, and no matter how wonderful you are, he won't see it if he's not looking to see it. yeah, some men fall in love by accident, but most that i see fall in love go looking to fall in it.

they plan to have a relationship.

so, who do i believe?

doesn't really matter. the point is, this is about self-growth & christian carter promotes that. no matter what the guy does, i can keep growing in my relationship skills. in fact, the more odd situations i get in, the better my skills get.

the sad thing is, a girl is at her best and most attractive when she doesn't really like a guy. that always gives the guys room to chase & they love that. then the girl settles & sighs, and walks down the aisle, using the wedding excitement as a cover for her lack of interest in the guy.

yes, i see my friends doing this. "it seems to be the right thing to do," one of them actually told me.

me, i struggle with trying not to chase guys i like, but at least, i'm choosing. i dunno, i don't want to settle. the author of god is a woman talks about this. ian coburn i think. about how women settle for guys they don't like.

no way for me. i'd rather have encounters with wolves any day than settle down to boredom with a guy that i don't respect.

but most women aren't like that. i guess that's why i'm single, and will always be single and alone, i'm afraid.

sigh.

taken a beating

i feel completely beaten up lately by guys. i just don't know how to control the asshole factor. granted, i could make better decisions, but what is it about me that magnetizes them?

it's always been that way. because i am aloof or attractive or both, i attract guys who hit & run. very odd.

i'm so beaten down right now i don't even have anything pithy to say or snide like i usually do. i'm just emotionally exhausted...