tag, i'm it
Here's the rules...
1. Link to your tagger (Two Date Diva) and post these rules on your blog.
2. Share 5 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 5 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
I don't have 5 friends :( to share them with but I'll play.
----------------------------
1. Five facts:
a. I hated to brush my teeth until I bought an electric toothbrush. But I still brush my teeth with my eyes closed.
b. I just started drinking beer during the World Series. Yes, THIS year!
c. I made out with a guy backstage at Carnegie Hall. In a little window that opens onto the stage...
d. I'm a real blonde.
e. I've been to 24% of the countries in the world.
December 11, 2007
December 10, 2007
i'm lovin' it
i have been honored to be selected by two-date diva to try out engagement chicken. apparently, it makes a guy think wifely thoughts.
my thoughts are these.
i'm rushing out to buy stock in purdue. and i don't mean chicken stock. apparently purdue has struck a deal with de beers diamonds. the firm will receive 5% kickback from the diamond king due to their heavy influence toward diamond sales.
here's my meal plan.
first, i will light a single lavendar candle. or is it vanilla? just to be safe, i'll light both. then i will spritz myself with pheremones in strategic places (similar to the placement of the lemon on the chicken). then i will prepare some shrimp as a whore-duerve, or however you spell that. cinnamon rolls and pumpkin pie will be prebaked but post-warmed for best results. just in case he misses the pumpkin concept, i'll put a big one on the table too.
the wedding march will be softly playing in the background, and the table-cloth will be a paisley pattern of marraige license applications.
so the guy doesn't notice all this, a football game (not the patriots. i need him to be engaged. ooops, freudian slip) will be playing on the far wall.
then i will serve the engagement chicken, bowing slightly to my future master, while my right boob shows slightly through my unbuttoned blouse. this is further to distract the guy from the fact that i've never cooked a chicken in my life. therefore, the chicken is actually frozen & spraypainted golden brown.
my hope is that either he will watch the football game or grab my boobs & we'll forget all about the food. after all, being so anesthetized by the aromatic & seductive fragrances which are guaranteed to stimulate his lustier side, he should have no need to eat to get turned on.
if my guy doesn't propose after this delightful meal, i will call up my ex, and even though he's a defense lawyer, i'll have him sue purdue, which is in fact behind the whole engagement chicken concept.
i do think that someone should be held liable for the failure of this lovely meal to produce desired results.
i have been honored to be selected by two-date diva to try out engagement chicken. apparently, it makes a guy think wifely thoughts.
my thoughts are these.
i'm rushing out to buy stock in purdue. and i don't mean chicken stock. apparently purdue has struck a deal with de beers diamonds. the firm will receive 5% kickback from the diamond king due to their heavy influence toward diamond sales.
here's my meal plan.
first, i will light a single lavendar candle. or is it vanilla? just to be safe, i'll light both. then i will spritz myself with pheremones in strategic places (similar to the placement of the lemon on the chicken). then i will prepare some shrimp as a whore-duerve, or however you spell that. cinnamon rolls and pumpkin pie will be prebaked but post-warmed for best results. just in case he misses the pumpkin concept, i'll put a big one on the table too.
the wedding march will be softly playing in the background, and the table-cloth will be a paisley pattern of marraige license applications.
so the guy doesn't notice all this, a football game (not the patriots. i need him to be engaged. ooops, freudian slip) will be playing on the far wall.
then i will serve the engagement chicken, bowing slightly to my future master, while my right boob shows slightly through my unbuttoned blouse. this is further to distract the guy from the fact that i've never cooked a chicken in my life. therefore, the chicken is actually frozen & spraypainted golden brown.
my hope is that either he will watch the football game or grab my boobs & we'll forget all about the food. after all, being so anesthetized by the aromatic & seductive fragrances which are guaranteed to stimulate his lustier side, he should have no need to eat to get turned on.
if my guy doesn't propose after this delightful meal, i will call up my ex, and even though he's a defense lawyer, i'll have him sue purdue, which is in fact behind the whole engagement chicken concept.
i do think that someone should be held liable for the failure of this lovely meal to produce desired results.
what about bob
ok, so this nice looking 44-yo guy wrote to me, we'll call him bob. i've written back. he's an electrical engineer & seems NORMAL.
i just spent a weekend skiing. mmmmmm. found out i'm a closet ski racer. i'm now coming out of the closet & shocking everyone on the hill. they didn't think i was a ski racer when they looked at me for .0005 seconds, but i really am. they figured that out if the .0005 seconds was a view of my back. or they had no view at all but the sky...
a ski weekend as a single fast skiier is interesting. i had one v. attached nice girl (to a hot, nice HELPFUL guy i must say) ask me "are you going out by yourself?" yes, maam, i am. to get first run. because if no one else wants to, i will. that's what you do when you're single. you do.
i finally found a guy at the end of the second day who snowboarded my speed. sadly he's engaged, but he wouldn't have dated me anyway. i've never seen guys who ski well date girls that do. there's something about great skiiers or snowboarders that makes them want to choose either beginners or non-skiiers. which actually works out great for me, because i can ski with them. which is fun until their SO finds out and demands that they not ski with me anymore. which has happened. nice. so if you can't ski, you can still bitch, i guess.
this weekend i tried to avoid the couples. and the single guys that just weren't helpful. now this really grates on my nerves. guys who aren't helpful. more on that later.
in fact, more on everything later.
i'm going to love my mickie d's right now.
ok, so this nice looking 44-yo guy wrote to me, we'll call him bob. i've written back. he's an electrical engineer & seems NORMAL.
i just spent a weekend skiing. mmmmmm. found out i'm a closet ski racer. i'm now coming out of the closet & shocking everyone on the hill. they didn't think i was a ski racer when they looked at me for .0005 seconds, but i really am. they figured that out if the .0005 seconds was a view of my back. or they had no view at all but the sky...
a ski weekend as a single fast skiier is interesting. i had one v. attached nice girl (to a hot, nice HELPFUL guy i must say) ask me "are you going out by yourself?" yes, maam, i am. to get first run. because if no one else wants to, i will. that's what you do when you're single. you do.
i finally found a guy at the end of the second day who snowboarded my speed. sadly he's engaged, but he wouldn't have dated me anyway. i've never seen guys who ski well date girls that do. there's something about great skiiers or snowboarders that makes them want to choose either beginners or non-skiiers. which actually works out great for me, because i can ski with them. which is fun until their SO finds out and demands that they not ski with me anymore. which has happened. nice. so if you can't ski, you can still bitch, i guess.
this weekend i tried to avoid the couples. and the single guys that just weren't helpful. now this really grates on my nerves. guys who aren't helpful. more on that later.
in fact, more on everything later.
i'm going to love my mickie d's right now.