boyz & cats II
a few cool things have happened lately. as i write my kitten is on my lap, snoring. if you haven't heard a kitten snore, it's the cutest thing ever. now - i'm not lonely anymore. he's affectionate, playful and learns quickly. we're working on the not biting thing right now.
jack is back. by back, i mean talking again. yes, my ex, if you call him that, that wouldn't talk to me b/c of jealous wife. she's gone, he's back. nice.
and, i don't know how to describe this last one, but it's pretty amazing to me. more on that in the next blog...
May 17, 2008
May 14, 2008
why men like cats
several of my boyfriends have liked cats. they like their independence. lately i've been researching how to keep my kitty, squeaky, from clawing me. he is claws out all the time. here's what i came up with - that made me LMAO.
now i understand why men love cats. in the below repurposing, i took the liberty of replacing the word "cat" with "man."
see how much you identify with this!
--------------------
Dear Gwen,
My newly adopted 10 month old man bites me and won't let me pet him. When I try to show him affection, he just runs away. I feel disappointed because I wanted a snuggly man. When he first arrived, I think I might have scared him by accidentally grabbing at him a little too roughly. He likes to play and will always greet me when I come home. He will rub his face against mine for a moment, but if I try to prolong it or initiate contact, he lightly bites me or runs away. Could this be his nature or do you think I ruined our relationship from the start? Can you train a man to like being petted?
Lonely Lynne
Dear Lynne,
I doubt that you ruined the relationship from the start since your man is happy to see you when you come home. He is telling you that he likes you when he rubs his face against yours. By running away, he is also telling you that he likes his space and doesn't want to be forced into being cuddly. On the other hand, maybe he is running away in an attempt to get you to play and chase him. He is still a very young man with lots of energy.
Some men simply do not like being petted or touched; others can be taught to accept and even enjoy handling. If his ways can be changed, here's a plan that has worked with most of my men/owner clients with similar problems.
1. Completely ignore your man. Pretend he is invisible. Take care of his physical needs (food, water, litter box, etc) but do not talk to him, play with him or even look at him. When he greets you when you come home - ignore him - just walk by as if he wasn't there.
After anywhere from 2 days to 2 weeks of this, he should be craving your attention and affection. He should be following you around, pestering and begging you for attention. Withhold your attention until he is craving it.
2. Begin to give him extremely small doses of affection. When he sits on your lap, stroke him 2 or 3 times, then get up and walk away. Gradually increase the amount of affection you give him, but always end the session with him wanting more. If you give him more than he needs or wants, then he will end the cuddle session on his terms (running away or biting to make you stop petting him). If you always leave him wanting more, then he will value it and look forward to it more.
several of my boyfriends have liked cats. they like their independence. lately i've been researching how to keep my kitty, squeaky, from clawing me. he is claws out all the time. here's what i came up with - that made me LMAO.
now i understand why men love cats. in the below repurposing, i took the liberty of replacing the word "cat" with "man."
see how much you identify with this!
--------------------
Dear Gwen,
My newly adopted 10 month old man bites me and won't let me pet him. When I try to show him affection, he just runs away. I feel disappointed because I wanted a snuggly man. When he first arrived, I think I might have scared him by accidentally grabbing at him a little too roughly. He likes to play and will always greet me when I come home. He will rub his face against mine for a moment, but if I try to prolong it or initiate contact, he lightly bites me or runs away. Could this be his nature or do you think I ruined our relationship from the start? Can you train a man to like being petted?
Lonely Lynne
Dear Lynne,
I doubt that you ruined the relationship from the start since your man is happy to see you when you come home. He is telling you that he likes you when he rubs his face against yours. By running away, he is also telling you that he likes his space and doesn't want to be forced into being cuddly. On the other hand, maybe he is running away in an attempt to get you to play and chase him. He is still a very young man with lots of energy.
Some men simply do not like being petted or touched; others can be taught to accept and even enjoy handling. If his ways can be changed, here's a plan that has worked with most of my men/owner clients with similar problems.
1. Completely ignore your man. Pretend he is invisible. Take care of his physical needs (food, water, litter box, etc) but do not talk to him, play with him or even look at him. When he greets you when you come home - ignore him - just walk by as if he wasn't there.
After anywhere from 2 days to 2 weeks of this, he should be craving your attention and affection. He should be following you around, pestering and begging you for attention. Withhold your attention until he is craving it.
2. Begin to give him extremely small doses of affection. When he sits on your lap, stroke him 2 or 3 times, then get up and walk away. Gradually increase the amount of affection you give him, but always end the session with him wanting more. If you give him more than he needs or wants, then he will end the cuddle session on his terms (running away or biting to make you stop petting him). If you always leave him wanting more, then he will value it and look forward to it more.
May 13, 2008
mom is coming to town
i've been following two-date diva's travels with her enlightened mom. mine is coming to town too, in june! gotta love when mom visits. she'll spiff up my new place, hug my kitten (she is very excited), and bash all the boys i've complained about. :) unfortunately, i'm now friends with them - or more - and so have to now undig them out of the dog house.
i've been following two-date diva's travels with her enlightened mom. mine is coming to town too, in june! gotta love when mom visits. she'll spiff up my new place, hug my kitten (she is very excited), and bash all the boys i've complained about. :) unfortunately, i'm now friends with them - or more - and so have to now undig them out of the dog house.