yummy

i just got called yummy by an 80 yo guy today. twice.

and it's not the first time either.

my fascination wasn't really with his inappropriate behavior. i mean, it's not like it's not true.

it was with myself.

nobody speaks to me like that in my life. and there's a reason for that. or is there?

what amused me is that i didn't call him on it, either time. i merely ignored it.

i've pondered enough from the time/s it happened before to consider addressing it. i have no problem doing that.

but i didn't.

i may. i might. i could. but will i?

here comes the...tears

i've been invited to a wedding. i'm super SUPER happy for the bride & groom (B&G). they're totally well-suited for each other. and gees. it's about time my buddy got married!

but then i'm going. which is a whole 'nother story!

seeing single at weddings is an odd thing. and the older i get, the odder it is. i'd love to believe my friends can live happily ever after. but then i recall my last post...and those who didn't. rip.

i didn't go to the weddings of two of my best girlfriends. "i'll just cry all the way through." i said. "you'll have a better time without me." i said. they seemed to understand. after all, we're still friends.

it's not about them, they know. it's about me.

when i grew up, as most little girls did, i planned my wedding. pastel gingham dresses, that's what my bridesmaids would wear. me? no idea really.

right now i have my wedding shoes on hand, for this wedding that didn't happen yet, and my postlude. all i need is the dress. oh. and a groom.

me, i've played for so many weddings (as a violynist) in my lifetime they lost their thrill.

and i just don't like attention. i still can't imagine all eyes on me, unless i'm performing on the violin, and people are getting something useful out of it. i mean really. what would people get out of any wedding i have? well, i'm guessing the groom might get something. ;) and my mom. (not the same thing.)

this whole thing about making the wedding the focal point of a marriage seems so illogical to me. how about the couple WAIT 10 years and THEN celebrate?

the odd bitter side of me thinks it's the consolation to the bride. men, after all, are way more happily married than women. statistically so. so the bride gets this one day to be all happy - before she makes toast the next morning for her guy. and he sits on his a** from then on.

but heck. some girlz like to make toast. who am i to judge? they after all, are thinking i'm the loser for seeing single.

so i'll go to this wedding, and be thrilled for the B&G. they really are wonderful. i'll just try not to cry. ya know. cuz it's not about me...

simon-ette says...

i'm at this awkward stage of my life where i've become a role model to newly single women.

this all started a few years ago, when a friend who formerly reveled in her status as exceptional married woman and pillar in the community got divorced. and said to my single sister and me over thanksgiving dinner, how did we get our careers going on?

after i picked my mouth up off the floor that this woman had asked me for advice i realized the tables had turned. i had moved from dispised (OMG we'd never want to be single like YOU) to honored (how have you done it, exactly?).

sure enough. fast forward a few years & my divorcing friends are turning to me for advice on being single.

and damn. have i got some opinions on that!

does this mean i'm happy and successful seeing single?

perhaps. it doesn't mean i'm not! in this context (and for the purposes of this blogette), yes. i am still happy seeing single.

older, wiser, but still happy.

this doesn't mean the adventure doesn't continue, but that is the topic of the next blog...