aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggg
this is me screaming.
i am SO frustrated with men.
like another hot friend of mine pointed out - it doesn't matter if you're hot anymore. men just want 10 of you.
what is the answer? i'm stuck in a timewarp.
between feminism (which didn't work) and f*ckism (which also didn't work).
where are we now?
i have no fricken clue. but i'll let you know when i figure it out.
December 17, 2008
update to "games people play"
oh, to continue my former train...mr. russia informed me that both of his comments were true. he was in town generally & he was going back & forth between towns.
nice to know.
he expressed no interest in seeing me which was duh, the whole point of telling him i'm coming to town. but then, that's how he is.
so i have more respect now that he told the truth but still think his intent was to appear noncommittal to my visit.
which he completely succeeded on.
oh, to continue my former train...mr. russia informed me that both of his comments were true. he was in town generally & he was going back & forth between towns.
nice to know.
he expressed no interest in seeing me which was duh, the whole point of telling him i'm coming to town. but then, that's how he is.
so i have more respect now that he told the truth but still think his intent was to appear noncommittal to my visit.
which he completely succeeded on.
is it me?
i just don't get guys nowdays.
they flit, flirt, they flee.
or is it me?
then you're supposed to be all understanding and supportive of men.
of what?
of mirages?
they're not really there. who is really there? they just pretend. you're their fun for the moment, then they move on.
along this line i deleted mr. russia's phone number from my phone. on the same day he just got voted one of his city's most eligible bachelors in their city magazine.
oh well, he really won't have time now.
i also told him off, in a nice way, that our communication styles were different. i just didn't like to be disappeared on. and he likes to come and go, that's the way he is. nothing wrong with that, i just don't like it. i've known how he is, i mean i've known him since he was 12. another friend of mine also commented on the same thing, so it's not me.
anyhow, so i'm going to go away. i'm sure i won't hear from him again. and i guess i shouldn't care. he's a good friend - in that he's an old friend. but not a hang-around-with-friend. i just have to accept that.
i have a happy life with guys who actually DO respond to me & want to see me. like mr. ny who is keeping in touch cross-continent. what do i need guys for that don't even respond when i say i'm coming back to town?
bah humbug.
i just don't get guys nowdays.
they flit, flirt, they flee.
or is it me?
then you're supposed to be all understanding and supportive of men.
of what?
of mirages?
they're not really there. who is really there? they just pretend. you're their fun for the moment, then they move on.
along this line i deleted mr. russia's phone number from my phone. on the same day he just got voted one of his city's most eligible bachelors in their city magazine.
oh well, he really won't have time now.
i also told him off, in a nice way, that our communication styles were different. i just didn't like to be disappeared on. and he likes to come and go, that's the way he is. nothing wrong with that, i just don't like it. i've known how he is, i mean i've known him since he was 12. another friend of mine also commented on the same thing, so it's not me.
anyhow, so i'm going to go away. i'm sure i won't hear from him again. and i guess i shouldn't care. he's a good friend - in that he's an old friend. but not a hang-around-with-friend. i just have to accept that.
i have a happy life with guys who actually DO respond to me & want to see me. like mr. ny who is keeping in touch cross-continent. what do i need guys for that don't even respond when i say i'm coming back to town?
bah humbug.
December 16, 2008
games people play
so my current crush - the mr. russia (not the guy from 7th grade) - is d*ing me around.
i decide to go back to his town to visit. not for him, my sister is there, duh. although it would be nice to see him. this evidenced by fact that i buy ticket before telling him. e-mail him in a group with others saying i'll be back in town, hope to see you guys.
one friend responds, he doesn't.
so a few days later i text, will you be around next weekend? he replies, yeah, i'll be around, why? (clearly he either can't read or is trying to figure out what i want.) i say, just seeing who can come out to play. then he says awww, actually i'll be in some other town most of the time.
jerk.
this morning i write back asking if he does this to his guy friends - ignores that their coming to town, says he's available, then says he's not. like if he doesn't want to meet up fine. but enough of the games already.
ayiyi. do i have to treat these guys like they're children? yes, apparently so. because clearly, they are.
seems all the guys in my life these are boyz to men but they haven't gotten there yet. will i ever see the day?
gees. annoying.
looks like we may be going another 6 years before meeting up. or forever if he can't show some r-e-s-p-e-c-t.
so my current crush - the mr. russia (not the guy from 7th grade) - is d*ing me around.
i decide to go back to his town to visit. not for him, my sister is there, duh. although it would be nice to see him. this evidenced by fact that i buy ticket before telling him. e-mail him in a group with others saying i'll be back in town, hope to see you guys.
one friend responds, he doesn't.
so a few days later i text, will you be around next weekend? he replies, yeah, i'll be around, why? (clearly he either can't read or is trying to figure out what i want.) i say, just seeing who can come out to play. then he says awww, actually i'll be in some other town most of the time.
jerk.
this morning i write back asking if he does this to his guy friends - ignores that their coming to town, says he's available, then says he's not. like if he doesn't want to meet up fine. but enough of the games already.
ayiyi. do i have to treat these guys like they're children? yes, apparently so. because clearly, they are.
seems all the guys in my life these are boyz to men but they haven't gotten there yet. will i ever see the day?
gees. annoying.
looks like we may be going another 6 years before meeting up. or forever if he can't show some r-e-s-p-e-c-t.
December 15, 2008
more crushes
have you ever had a crush on someone since childhood? wondered what would have happened "if"? and then - told them about it years later?
well, i did and i have.
i had a crush on this guy since 7th grade. he asked me to go out with him. i didn't like him then. and then as soon as i said no - i went crazy crushed on him. which lasted for what, until now?
i finally caught up with him on facebook. he's married now & has a few pre-teenage kids. lovely wife. firefighter in CA. and i told him about my crush.
he was sweet but unresponsive to the crush idea, which was actually better to me. since in the light of day crushes tend to wilt. it seems like it's fantasy that drives them, not reality.
so now all of a sudden - i'm free! it's like this angst "i should have gone out with t in 7th grade, my life would have been so different" is all over!
he's a real person. we're grown up. he's not the little cute boy anymore. and we are adults who went on with our lives.
ah, what a relief it is!
have you ever had a crush on someone since childhood? wondered what would have happened "if"? and then - told them about it years later?
well, i did and i have.
i had a crush on this guy since 7th grade. he asked me to go out with him. i didn't like him then. and then as soon as i said no - i went crazy crushed on him. which lasted for what, until now?
i finally caught up with him on facebook. he's married now & has a few pre-teenage kids. lovely wife. firefighter in CA. and i told him about my crush.
he was sweet but unresponsive to the crush idea, which was actually better to me. since in the light of day crushes tend to wilt. it seems like it's fantasy that drives them, not reality.
so now all of a sudden - i'm free! it's like this angst "i should have gone out with t in 7th grade, my life would have been so different" is all over!
he's a real person. we're grown up. he's not the little cute boy anymore. and we are adults who went on with our lives.
ah, what a relief it is!