bitchy sidewalks
i dread dating again. i have this thing that i have, which gives me a lot of chronic pain & inability to sleep well. especially with other people around. guys are all interested in dating me until they run up against this.
with my CEXB (cheater ex-b) he knew about it. he hated seeing me with ice-packs on. huh. he's becoming a nurse now. lol. poor patients. "dammit, you're not hurting, he'll tell them, just get up & go home. what's the matter with you." this said while he's pinching the nurse's assistant's butt.
then with my LEXB (liar ex-b) i didn't tell him about it. but then i couldn't sleep in late cuz i had to get up cuz i was uncomfortable & he bitched about that too.
i don't know what to do about this. neither strategy was particularly successful.
so i'm doing nothing. it's really draining to be with someone who is chronically feeling bad. even if they don't say anything, you can see it on their face. one of my GEXBs (good ex-bs) put up with it ok b/c he loved me. but clearly these guys aren't really capable of love. v. selfish.
sigh. it's hard to be me.
this is a sucky holidays so far. cold weather. alone. & i'm walking down the street & this christmas song is playing, something about the sounds of the city. city sidewalks. & my next thought was, yeah, the sounds of everyone getting shot.
what is this world coming too. then i compared my depressing thoughts to the excitement i used to have at christmas as a child. uhoh, i'm turning into my grandparents. or my mother. she didn't walk barefoot home in the snow, but she used to walk 5 miles one way to school. and back. and walk barefoot in the cow-pies. well, that was her choice really. she liked squishing her toes in them. cuz it was warm & gooey.
at 20 degrees i'm not sure i would mind either.
December 06, 2007
December 05, 2007
cave woman
ok, i caved.
i put back up a profile on a dating site. ooops. it was my altar ego that made me do it. (altar, get it?
do you get it now?
do you get it now?
)
we'll see what happens. or who happens.
the question with online dating is always, do you see what the dinosaur drags back, or go out & club the guy over the head yourself? or lay around half naked & hope he doesn't mistake you for dino-bait as he's running by on his way to the kill.
i am prehistoric in my attitudes & opinions. blame it on the rules. i'm trying to switch over more to the mama gena point of view, but i'm not sure she was invented yet in my she-cave-woman days.
ok, i caved.
i put back up a profile on a dating site. ooops. it was my altar ego that made me do it. (altar, get it?
do you get it now?
do you get it now?
)
we'll see what happens. or who happens.
the question with online dating is always, do you see what the dinosaur drags back, or go out & club the guy over the head yourself? or lay around half naked & hope he doesn't mistake you for dino-bait as he's running by on his way to the kill.
i am prehistoric in my attitudes & opinions. blame it on the rules. i'm trying to switch over more to the mama gena point of view, but i'm not sure she was invented yet in my she-cave-woman days.
December 04, 2007
dear go jump in a lake
i really hate the DH phrase on message boards. every time i read that phrase i want to throw up. blech. as if married ladies that sound like they're talking in the 1950s don't rub their status in our singleton faces enough.
in fact, usually the DH phrase is followed by his not-so-dear actions.
so what is ours? DB? for dear boyfriend? i think i'll start a new online trend.
DB = dear boyfriend
DR = dear readers
EXB = dear ex-boyfriend
women of america, it's time to rise up and claim singleton status as a recognized class in the world.
i really hate the DH phrase on message boards. every time i read that phrase i want to throw up. blech. as if married ladies that sound like they're talking in the 1950s don't rub their status in our singleton faces enough.
in fact, usually the DH phrase is followed by his not-so-dear actions.
so what is ours? DB? for dear boyfriend? i think i'll start a new online trend.
DB = dear boyfriend
DR = dear readers
EXB = dear ex-boyfriend
women of america, it's time to rise up and claim singleton status as a recognized class in the world.
micro-minis & micro-trends
my friend just showed me her microtrends book. i'm gonna get it. two predominant facts in just the first section:
1) single women are single b/c there's fewer men - and most of them are gay.
2) as a result single women are dating younger men - some up to 10 years younger. & men are liken' this trend!
i can tell ya, i sure do. in fact, i started this trend! like 10 years ago. so there we have it.
i'm a microtrend starter.
that & my bi-sexual exes...
ok, there are no micro-minis in this blog. that's the short of it.
my friend just showed me her microtrends book. i'm gonna get it. two predominant facts in just the first section:
1) single women are single b/c there's fewer men - and most of them are gay.
2) as a result single women are dating younger men - some up to 10 years younger. & men are liken' this trend!
i can tell ya, i sure do. in fact, i started this trend! like 10 years ago. so there we have it.
i'm a microtrend starter.
that & my bi-sexual exes...
ok, there are no micro-minis in this blog. that's the short of it.
happy daze
my marathon blogging continues...
ok, so i was reading two-date diva's post on being single & going to holiday parties. to continue the thought that i started in my comments...
something to remember.
once the wedding's over, you're stuck with the guy.
if he makes your life better than when you were single, that's Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.
if not...do i need to end this thought?
it's better to be single than miserably attached. (that word was "better", not "easier".) don't let your married miserable girlfriends who are in denial, otherwise known as MGWAIDs, tell you otherwise. as they pat you on the head & tell you, don't worry, you'll get married someday, look right in their face and think--don't say it--right, happy like you are. (this actually happened to me. minus the patting my head & the comments back to her).
then walk away knowing the wedding's over & you're still happy.
because it was someone else's.
my marathon blogging continues...
ok, so i was reading two-date diva's post on being single & going to holiday parties. to continue the thought that i started in my comments...
something to remember.
once the wedding's over, you're stuck with the guy.
if he makes your life better than when you were single, that's Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.
if not...do i need to end this thought?
it's better to be single than miserably attached. (that word was "better", not "easier".) don't let your married miserable girlfriends who are in denial, otherwise known as MGWAIDs, tell you otherwise. as they pat you on the head & tell you, don't worry, you'll get married someday, look right in their face and think--don't say it--right, happy like you are. (this actually happened to me. minus the patting my head & the comments back to her).
then walk away knowing the wedding's over & you're still happy.
because it was someone else's.
boo who who
soo the real reason i'm thinking of going online again is b/c i miss my recent liar ex. i'm waking up crying about him. i'm walking down the street thinking of smart retorts when he returns & wants to talk. in my dreams. ha. i'm wondering why i ever dated him. and i'm missing him like hell.
mostly i'm wondering who he was. you know, once you lie, everything you say is fair game. things like "i really really like you" that were once uttered become suspect. things like "you look beautiful" fortunately stand the test of time. i have matured THAT much.
realize that if you lie in your relationships, people will never be able to believe a word you say. so they will pick and choose what to believe. (what choice do they have?) it's a slippery slope of trust erosion.
i suggest you don't do it.
on the other hand, i lied to one of my friends a couple years ago to spare his feelings. i feel bad & want to tell him. i didn't want to tell him that the other players in my string quartet didn't want to play with him, so i sicked us all out of the performance. shame on me. slapping my hand as we speak.
lkesjkl;SSklj;SSjlk;SEfjkl';lkj
there, serves you right.
oh, wait it was my mouth that lied. we'll deal with that later. right now it's eating and one does have priorities.
reminds me of what jesus said, it's not what goes into your mouth that defiles you. it's what comes out of it.
that's what lying does. defiles you. and your relationships.
that's why you don't.
well, except, like to save people. like during the holocaust. i would lie then. like yeah i would. or now. or anytime.
so some lies are good.
maybe that's why the 10 commandments doesn't say don't lie. it says don't tell lies about your neighbor.
i'm so confused.
oh well. at least i'm not lying to myself. or am i. yes, i am. you have to lie to yourself when you know someone else is lying to you and you accept it.
blah. so far i have no moral grounds to judge anyone on lying. somewhat again like the old testament, if you have a log stuck in your eye, don't judge the splinter in someone else's.
hmmm. my ex with a splinter in his eye. wait, is that breaking the don't wish evil on your enemies morality code?
damn, morality is sure confusing.
good. now i'm successfully distracted from crying about my ex. unfortunately, i now can't blame him for his behavior, mine not being that different. but it would be much easier if i could. at least i had good intentions though.
which is exactly what he would say about why he lied to me.
sigh.
soo the real reason i'm thinking of going online again is b/c i miss my recent liar ex. i'm waking up crying about him. i'm walking down the street thinking of smart retorts when he returns & wants to talk. in my dreams. ha. i'm wondering why i ever dated him. and i'm missing him like hell.
mostly i'm wondering who he was. you know, once you lie, everything you say is fair game. things like "i really really like you" that were once uttered become suspect. things like "you look beautiful" fortunately stand the test of time. i have matured THAT much.
realize that if you lie in your relationships, people will never be able to believe a word you say. so they will pick and choose what to believe. (what choice do they have?) it's a slippery slope of trust erosion.
i suggest you don't do it.
on the other hand, i lied to one of my friends a couple years ago to spare his feelings. i feel bad & want to tell him. i didn't want to tell him that the other players in my string quartet didn't want to play with him, so i sicked us all out of the performance. shame on me. slapping my hand as we speak.
lkesjkl;SSklj;SSjlk;SEfjkl';lkj
there, serves you right.
oh, wait it was my mouth that lied. we'll deal with that later. right now it's eating and one does have priorities.
reminds me of what jesus said, it's not what goes into your mouth that defiles you. it's what comes out of it.
that's what lying does. defiles you. and your relationships.
that's why you don't.
well, except, like to save people. like during the holocaust. i would lie then. like yeah i would. or now. or anytime.
so some lies are good.
maybe that's why the 10 commandments doesn't say don't lie. it says don't tell lies about your neighbor.
i'm so confused.
oh well. at least i'm not lying to myself. or am i. yes, i am. you have to lie to yourself when you know someone else is lying to you and you accept it.
blah. so far i have no moral grounds to judge anyone on lying. somewhat again like the old testament, if you have a log stuck in your eye, don't judge the splinter in someone else's.
hmmm. my ex with a splinter in his eye. wait, is that breaking the don't wish evil on your enemies morality code?
damn, morality is sure confusing.
good. now i'm successfully distracted from crying about my ex. unfortunately, i now can't blame him for his behavior, mine not being that different. but it would be much easier if i could. at least i had good intentions though.
which is exactly what he would say about why he lied to me.
sigh.
why oh why do guys do it this way?
so i'm contemplating online dating again. so i page through a few guys. i know it is a hopeless venture, as soon as i turned 38 i stopped showing up in guys' searches. i know that's the reason i got less responses, since i look hot still. oh well.
so i see this guy. he's very good looking & i click on his profile. in addition to his friends at the sports game, hot convertible, there is a pic of him with a stunning blonde, perhaps a movie star or playboy model.
now, why do guys do that exactly?
here's what i see from that:
1) this is the kind of girl i date. if you don't look like her on your worst day, don't bother.
2) i'm still dating her. i will keep dating her. partly because she's actually my wife.
3) she's a real-life doll. ooops, i mean a sex doll. i keep her just in case you don't work. or even if you do. we can have a threesome.
4) she's my sister. right. and i'm a nun.
5) i'm so desperate, i have to show you that i can actually get women. in real life they won't come near me.
if i do get a personal ad again, i'm contemplating putting a disclaimer at the bottom.
"don't call me if you are already in a relationship or with someone who thinks you are. i will ask you. if you lie, i will hire a private investigator to tell your SO. that will be fun for us. not so much for you."
well, it looks like i won't be doing online dating again after all. i don't seem to have such a positive attitude toward it.
ya think?
so i'm contemplating online dating again. so i page through a few guys. i know it is a hopeless venture, as soon as i turned 38 i stopped showing up in guys' searches. i know that's the reason i got less responses, since i look hot still. oh well.
so i see this guy. he's very good looking & i click on his profile. in addition to his friends at the sports game, hot convertible, there is a pic of him with a stunning blonde, perhaps a movie star or playboy model.
now, why do guys do that exactly?
here's what i see from that:
1) this is the kind of girl i date. if you don't look like her on your worst day, don't bother.
2) i'm still dating her. i will keep dating her. partly because she's actually my wife.
3) she's a real-life doll. ooops, i mean a sex doll. i keep her just in case you don't work. or even if you do. we can have a threesome.
4) she's my sister. right. and i'm a nun.
5) i'm so desperate, i have to show you that i can actually get women. in real life they won't come near me.
if i do get a personal ad again, i'm contemplating putting a disclaimer at the bottom.
"don't call me if you are already in a relationship or with someone who thinks you are. i will ask you. if you lie, i will hire a private investigator to tell your SO. that will be fun for us. not so much for you."
well, it looks like i won't be doing online dating again after all. i don't seem to have such a positive attitude toward it.
ya think?