March 15, 2018

here comes the...tears

i've been invited to a wedding. i'm super SUPER happy for the bride & groom (B&G). they're totally well-suited for each other. and gees. it's about time my buddy got married!

but then i'm going. which is a whole 'nother story!

seeing single at weddings is an odd thing. and the older i get, the odder it is. i'd love to believe my friends can live happily ever after. but then i recall my last post...and those who didn't. rip.

i didn't go to the weddings of two of my best girlfriends. "i'll just cry all the way through." i said. "you'll have a better time without me." i said. they seemed to understand. after all, we're still friends.

it's not about them, they know. it's about me.

when i grew up, as most little girls did, i planned my wedding. pastel gingham dresses, that's what my bridesmaids would wear. me? no idea really.

right now i have my wedding shoes on hand, for this wedding that didn't happen yet, and my postlude. all i need is the dress. oh. and a groom.

me, i've played for so many weddings (as a violynist) in my lifetime they lost their thrill.

and i just don't like attention. i still can't imagine all eyes on me, unless i'm performing on the violin, and people are getting something useful out of it. i mean really. what would people get out of any wedding i have? well, i'm guessing the groom might get something. ;) and my mom. (not the same thing.)

this whole thing about making the wedding the focal point of a marriage seems so illogical to me. how about the couple WAIT 10 years and THEN celebrate?

the odd bitter side of me thinks it's the consolation to the bride. men, after all, are way more happily married than women. statistically so. so the bride gets this one day to be all happy - before she makes toast the next morning for her guy. and he sits on his a** from then on.


but heck. some girlz like to make toast. who am i to judge? they after all, are thinking i'm the loser for seeing single.

so i'll go to this wedding, and be thrilled for the B&G. they really are wonderful. i'll just try not to cry. ya know. cuz it's not about me...

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