christian conversion
i read christian carter's e-mails every day. yeah, this is even though i slammed him a while ago cuz someone else did. personally, i don't care really who writes the stuff, as long as i learn something from it.
as i read today about how it is up to me to take a guy to where i want the relationship to be (because according to him, i can do this), i look up on the shelf & see the 4 agreements sitting there. i think to self, hmmm, self, how can i take a guy to where i want the relationship to be - if nothing he does is about me?
christian carter misses an important point: a guy is at what stage he is at, and no matter how wonderful you are, he won't see it if he's not looking to see it. yeah, some men fall in love by accident, but most that i see fall in love go looking to fall in it.
they plan to have a relationship.
so, who do i believe?
doesn't really matter. the point is, this is about self-growth & christian carter promotes that. no matter what the guy does, i can keep growing in my relationship skills. in fact, the more odd situations i get in, the better my skills get.
the sad thing is, a girl is at her best and most attractive when she doesn't really like a guy. that always gives the guys room to chase & they love that. then the girl settles & sighs, and walks down the aisle, using the wedding excitement as a cover for her lack of interest in the guy.
yes, i see my friends doing this. "it seems to be the right thing to do," one of them actually told me.
me, i struggle with trying not to chase guys i like, but at least, i'm choosing. i dunno, i don't want to settle. the author of god is a woman talks about this. ian coburn i think. about how women settle for guys they don't like.
no way for me. i'd rather have encounters with wolves any day than settle down to boredom with a guy that i don't respect.
but most women aren't like that. i guess that's why i'm single, and will always be single and alone, i'm afraid.
sigh.
4 comments:
sigh.... here too. why is it that the guys you're not that interested in or attracted to are the ones most interested in you? I had a wolf too. A LOT OF FUN but heartbreaking because I was really really into him. I get C.Carter's stuff too and am ashamed to admit I even bought his ebook "How to Catch Him and Keep Him" which just made me bawl my eyes out because apparently I did everything wrong.
interesting...did you like the book? i've thought often about buying it but wasn't sure if it was a scam or not.
i've been trying to incorporate all his comments into my behavior patterns, as i certainly need to do a lot better in communicating, etc. i just figured if i read his e-mails long enough, i wouldn't have to buy the book, lol...
Don't buy the book... it had some good points but you get the same info from his emails. Basically his book puts ALL the responsibility for how a relationship progresses (or not) on the woman. The woman must always be cognizant of what is going on with the man and adjust her actions/reactions to something that will please the man. Please the man, please the man, please the man.... Challenge him but only in a fun way even if the guy is being a jackass you're supposed to ignore it or figure out how to turn it around so he'll always be happy. Yuck....
I was a person who settled. I knew it wasn't right before I walked down the aisle and here I am 7 years later and divorced. I think there was something on Sex and the City about guys as taxis with their lights on. They must have their lights on in order to get involved. You can't force it. So just continue to be your fabulous self and the right guy will come along.
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