swf seeing gswmwlrgjank (good-looking single white male with labrador retriever, good job and no kids)

so today i want to draft a letter to one of my cosmo bachelors. this will be very hard as lots of women will write to them. so i want my letter to stand out, yet be appealing in a cute but intelligent way. here goes.

"hi. i think you're very cute."

duh. ya think.

"Hello _____, I am a SWF living in Boston who likes the Red Sox"

no. can't do that. he'll feel sorry for me.

"Hello _____, I live in Boston, land of baked beans."

hell no! air freshener please.

"Hi ____, I saw your picture in Cosmo."

...which is why this e-mail was set up.

this is harder than it looks!

"Hi ______, I've been reading Cosmo for 10 years..."

...and i'm as old as your mother and i have no life.

"Hi ______, my name is ______."

name doesn't matter. only my picture matters.


"Hi _____, I've attached my picture for my review. Check it out and see if you're interested in talking to me. If you are, please read on..."

...my salary requirements are.

HOW IN GOD's GREEN EARTH DO GUYS WRITE TO GIRLS? Damn, this is hard. thank goodness i'm a woman.

i'll have to think about this some more. what good text goes with my face?

ahh!!

"Hi ________, I'm a _______ (description goes here) who loves nature, traveling, any sport that involves water, and ______ (music). The reason I wrote to you is because I liked your frog-catching. My favorite memories of growing up were exploring all the fields and streams with my black pony and white dog, hatching caterpillars into monarchs, building treehouses, and finding garter snakes. Now I live in the city and wear garter hose. No I'm kidding. But someday soon I plan to a place in the country again where I can swim in the pond and squish my toes in the mud every day."

...now let's settle down and have some kids in that place in the country. works for me. ;)