it's a beautiful world

beautiful men just keep popping up everywhere. or rather being everywhere. (he wasn't so much popping as far as i could see. and i definitely was watching.)

anyhow, yesterday on the train on the way home this malboro man sat down across from me & there was just something about him that fascinated me so much that i had to try not to stare at him the whole way home. he looked like aforesaid man, and also like an ex of mine. rugged, sad, confident, purposeful, and probably cold.

he was one of the sort that makes you want to know everything about them. is he straight? what does he do? does he WORK at looking this sexy? is he a model? what is it about him that makes one so intrigued?

so then last night i dreamed about my ex that looked like the train man who looked like the marlboro man. in my dream he was very friendly and affectionate with me for a while until he saw this beautiful blond woman with long hair (that looked like haley on the o.c.) & then he went and started making out with her. in front of me.

oddly, my reaction was more like, whatever, you can have her than jealousy or anger toward her. i think in my dream she was some extension of myself so i didn't really resent it. it was just odd.

damn men on trains. they lead to wierd dreams. will have to bury head in book to avoid good-looking somethings who wreak havoc with my head.