i think i can't, i think i can't

deep within the heart of some divorcees kids, there lurks this nagging fear that we won't be able to stay married. so why try? it's like going on the roller coaster ride without a seatbelt; knowing you're more likely than not to be thrown from the moving train to your death. and if you have kids, taking them with you. voluntarily. why would anyone sign up for that?

yet you know there's that other very happy small percentage that just get marriage right and somehow you wonder: could you beat the odds?

in the midst of that questioning, you keep dating people who are like your parent. who left.

and some pretty wonderful men love you and you keep walking away.

so you read and read and try to figure out what the magic formula is that you need to know, that you are willing to bet the odds on. or that thing that you do that you can learn to stop doing to keep you from running again. or advice on fixing whatever it is that makes you not get along with the "right" people. but every book says something different. and it ends up right back where it began:

all about you.