i met a guy & i liked it

well, hello folks. it's been a while.

i met someone who is a "possibility." and by this, i mean for everything. this is actually a momentous occassion, because i had completely given up hope that a guy might exist who could convince me that 1) marriage and 2) children weren't a ridiculous idea.

i just spent a week with him, and now i'm gone. a bit spectacularly: as i was leaving i chided him for not giving me an answer about the weekend plans, because he wouldn't say "yes" or "no" (why don't guys just say no? always this hemming & hawing to avoid hurting your feelings, when you really just want a definite!) then after i went on my own to the beach because he wouldn't go, i called my friend to check up on him ("did he stay at your place last night?"). and since he's also a guy, he probably told him i asked. hey i figured he was just waiting for me to leave to hook up with someone else. but given who he is & how he looks, it's more likely true than not. and besides, buyer beware. i will ask about these things...

anyhow, i am now floundering through my second day of googling "will he call" and reviewing everything in my head like an idiot. he told me hooking up in the future was in the cards, that he would come visit and we'd go somewhere. but that doesn't negate my fright that he will never show up again.

the thing about this guy that is so special is several-fold. ok, that didn't make sense, but it's my blog. :)

first, he can provide for me when he is under incredible stress. that's pretty unusual. he was hyper-aware of my experience at all times, making sure i was happy and ok. that is also very unusual. for a focused man to have that capacity and generosity.

second, we spent a fricken week together & i liked him more at the end than at the beginning. how often does that happen! everything we did was fun. just because he is fun.

third, he was kind. i told him everything about myself in 2 days & was ill in front of him & it wasn't pretty. but he was super sweet & did everything he could to help me.

fourth, he's not my type at all, but super cute smile. women everywhere we went were throwing themselves at him. let's just say, he's cute. and happy. he sings around the house...

fifth, he just has everything handled. like everything. and he tells me what to do ("honey could you wash these clothes for me?") and i actually was happy to. can you imagine. ME? being domestic?

sixth, he has resources. i found myself being an idiot imagining, what if i didn't have to work? wow. working is so painful for me because of my injuries that a lifetime of less pain would be just amazing.

seventh, he wants marriage & kids. even though he also thinks everyone around him is breaking up, as i do.

so that's some of the reasons. the really main one, though, (#8) is that i feel very safe and secure around him. i notice kim kardashian said the same thing about her guy. i can just relax, he's got things handled. whew. what a relief that is.

oh, also there's another one, so this is 9. he is very patient with my weaknesses. i said stupid things (not intellectually dumb, just perceptually off) and he didn't correct me. i forgot directions he told me so he started writing things down.

ok, he did blow up & we had a tiff, but here is #10 - in the midst of our argument (and he apologized!) he mentioned the word "partnership." ok i have paid thousands of dollars to attend the understandmen.com conferences. and what is the key word? partnership.

i'm terrified this guy will never show up again, so i will probably be blogging for the next few days to calm my nerves & get over him. if he is a player, he will be offended/watchful that i asked my friend if he stayed with him the night he left. whether he did or not, he knows i'm a bit stalkerish & not afraid to ask the hard questions. he should know these things. so let him.

but if he really liked me, i got to chill. he's in the middle of a lawsuit, and working 24-7 on getting it fixed. he had time for me and interest while i was there, but when i'm gone, probably he's already lining up chicks. or if not, they're lining up him. (yes waitresses wink at him & girls i meet don't even wait until i leave before they're talking about how to hook up with him.)

so here is my new crush. blah. more to come...