cheap date

so usually i don't write about my dates because, well, i have my reasons. but this one is too funny.

i meet this guy that i met online for a drink. and right off he loses points, big ones, for not opening the door for me on the way into the restaurant. and it was a big door. with a BIG-ass handle. which i opened myself. and then, there was another one. which he didn't wake up and open either.

so. nice. here we are with me opening my own doors. this bodes well.

then we're sitting there talking. and right off he asks me what i think of bush. apparently this guy hasn't heard of the national-politics-and-religion ban on first dates. so we talk about bush. and the economy. and the war. and our professions. (we'd already covered religion by accident, as happens with me when someone wants to know why i've moved so much. ) and so i'm waiting for him to talk about his kids. and waiting. and waiting. so i keep saying, so tell me more about you. meaning, duh, your KIDS. what does he say after we've exhausted, travel, religion, politics, diet, et. al? "about me. let's see. what books have i read lately?" dude, what do i give a shit about that? i don't even discuss this with my friends! who the hell cares.

anyhow, no real brownie points off for bad conversation, just that dude, i'm not an intellectual. go have your thinky conversations with a non-date. you're here to IMPRESS me, remember, not to boggle my mind.

so conversation aside, here is the funny part.

mr. i-don't-do-doors goes to pay for the meal. and he of course has to elicit thanks from me for the $60 drinks for which HE wanted to order two appetizers for, which he does by saying, well, i'll take care of this [nah, ya think?], cuz i guess it's my job. what do you have to say to that? so i say thank you, subtracting more browning points as i do. now this guy is ending up like in the la-la-land of date scoring. however, no problem. i can say thank you. i was planning on it anyhow. just not him thinking this is his job. after all, he suggested the date.

and since he is paying in cash, (hello, CASH?) he adds a few dollars for tip and then decides he doesn't have enough dollar bills for the tip. and sitting right there with two twenties in his other hand which he clearly doesn't want to break, he asks me if i have $1.

do i have $1.

so i graciously open my purse and think (i actually did) to myself, well, this is the last date for you buddy boy.

did i tell him that? no. like the guy who says he's going to call, i said sure, i'd go out with him again. as if.

that is the story of my "$1 date". and i'm still laughing. but not going out with him again.

so here's the point of the whole thing: the thing about dating rules is this: how well you conform to the societal rules measures 1) your intelligence level that you know them, 2) your respect for women, 3) your respect for that woman in particular, and 4) your acceptance of the fact that yes, you believe women deserve extra special care because they are women. if you don't want to follow the rules? you're a rebel & therefore untrustworthy. sucks, but that's the wayitiz.