today's third post: blue
bloggie, i'm tired of going places by myself and bopping around the city at night alone to meet friends. am pouting. will just stay home. v. depressing. now have excuse to eat whatever i want (coming right up), buy clothes (ooops i already did that), and generally be a hermitess (beginning now).
will invoke my right to use my favorite fairytale: where the hero comes and finds me IN my castle instead of me having to go out on my own all the time to meet HIM. my fantasy will last for a full 24 minutes before i acknowledge what bs it is, but by then i will be eating some warm and cozy something and have my toes wiggling in my sheets watching my favorite tv show and reading all about something i find intensely interesting and when my fantasy has expired i won't even notice.
October 03, 2003
today's other post: throw me a funnybone
funny is as funny gets.
i love guys with a good sense of humor. i have a friend (who is hilarious) who says that if you can make a woman laugh it's easier to get her into bed. boys, he's right. not, of course, that i've said, you're so funny, let's go make out. but in my head, you scored big, boy, if you can make me laugh. and not just politely either. and now that we're talking score, your sense of humor can be used to offset some other annoyances that we may encounter in your character. oh dear. this sounds like i'm keeping score. i'm not really, it's just well, that i rate humor very highly.
and it's not like we girls say, he's really funny (meaning he's ugly). it's not the equivalent of the "nice personality" for a girl. it's much much cooler. i mean we women aren't as turned on by how great your body is like you are about ours -- even though we might love how you look -- but a good laugh? can't beat that, sorry, even with all your gorgeous muscles. unless of course those great pecs are being used to be a hero and save us from harm. that still makes our hearts a little happier but we're not going to throw ourselves in front of a car just so you can save us. just make us laugh, it will have the same effect and be a bit easier on your back as well...
p.s. besides it's free! how can you pass that up.
funny is as funny gets.
i love guys with a good sense of humor. i have a friend (who is hilarious) who says that if you can make a woman laugh it's easier to get her into bed. boys, he's right. not, of course, that i've said, you're so funny, let's go make out. but in my head, you scored big, boy, if you can make me laugh. and not just politely either. and now that we're talking score, your sense of humor can be used to offset some other annoyances that we may encounter in your character. oh dear. this sounds like i'm keeping score. i'm not really, it's just well, that i rate humor very highly.
and it's not like we girls say, he's really funny (meaning he's ugly). it's not the equivalent of the "nice personality" for a girl. it's much much cooler. i mean we women aren't as turned on by how great your body is like you are about ours -- even though we might love how you look -- but a good laugh? can't beat that, sorry, even with all your gorgeous muscles. unless of course those great pecs are being used to be a hero and save us from harm. that still makes our hearts a little happier but we're not going to throw ourselves in front of a car just so you can save us. just make us laugh, it will have the same effect and be a bit easier on your back as well...
p.s. besides it's free! how can you pass that up.
September 27, 2003
today's topic: people
permit me to make fun of online dating again. so there's this guy who sends me what's called an icebreaker on yahoo. what it really means is i'm too cheap to sign up to write to you (so don't expect i'll pay for a date) but i can send you this lame-ass message with options of pickup lines that are so bad you'd tell all your friends about them next monday morning at work.
anyhow, so this guy's header is: "real man desperately seeking real woman". and it shows a nice picture of him in a car, with a scared, pissed-off look on his face, looking like he's just been told he will now be a crash-test dummy. so let's just see what this is all about.
the real man part -- what would you be otherwise? a fake man? a wuss? a wimp? bi? or an invisible man?
the desperately part -- what part of the word desperate do you think is attractive when it comes to dating?
the real woman part -- are you looking for size 10x? (for you mainiacs, that means shade in the summa, and warmth in the winta) or definitely not a transgender woman? what makes a woman real? and why would you need to state a "real" woman as opposed to what? a blow-up doll?
and these people wonder why online dating doesn't work for them. seriously, i should offer my advice services for a fee because i've been told numerous times i appear normal and that seems pretty rare. oh well. no wait, why would i improve the competition? i much prefer to laugh at them.
ok. so on to another topic. beauty and aging.
you only have to look at my mom to know that you can age with dignity and beauty and vitality. i saw another woman that proves that last night. i was walking down state street on the way back from pilates (and ooh, la la, did i ever feel good!) and this distinguished woman with perfectly coifed red hair stepped out of a taxi and waited for her man to pay the bill (smart woman ;). she's dressed in a long blue dress, that modestly splits up the front, and is wearing a beautiful pin. every beautiful red hair is in place and swept up in a sort of chignon perhaps, and her makeup is impeccable. i decide i have to tell her something. so i stop and walk back to her and tell her...you look LOVELY! i don't know where you're going, but i wish i were going there! to my happiness, she looked very pleased (i wasn't sure if she was going to be a british snob) and said oh, thank you very much.
i just know i made her night.
you see, i love telling other women when they look good. for one thing, that really counts. men seem to think i look good in the middle of doing my laundry--which is no doubt true. however, women know when you really look good and you don't forget compliments from other women. especially if they're strangers, and also beautiful, like myself. ok, ok. i am getting a little vain here, but this song IS about me, damn it. ;)
so i now find myself wondering, like princess di, will i be able to age with beauty and grace and find myself full of more character and class every year? somehow i think so. it seems to be working so far...and just look at the good genes i came from! yes, chances are...
permit me to make fun of online dating again. so there's this guy who sends me what's called an icebreaker on yahoo. what it really means is i'm too cheap to sign up to write to you (so don't expect i'll pay for a date) but i can send you this lame-ass message with options of pickup lines that are so bad you'd tell all your friends about them next monday morning at work.
anyhow, so this guy's header is: "real man desperately seeking real woman". and it shows a nice picture of him in a car, with a scared, pissed-off look on his face, looking like he's just been told he will now be a crash-test dummy. so let's just see what this is all about.
the real man part -- what would you be otherwise? a fake man? a wuss? a wimp? bi? or an invisible man?
the desperately part -- what part of the word desperate do you think is attractive when it comes to dating?
the real woman part -- are you looking for size 10x? (for you mainiacs, that means shade in the summa, and warmth in the winta) or definitely not a transgender woman? what makes a woman real? and why would you need to state a "real" woman as opposed to what? a blow-up doll?
and these people wonder why online dating doesn't work for them. seriously, i should offer my advice services for a fee because i've been told numerous times i appear normal and that seems pretty rare. oh well. no wait, why would i improve the competition? i much prefer to laugh at them.
ok. so on to another topic. beauty and aging.
you only have to look at my mom to know that you can age with dignity and beauty and vitality. i saw another woman that proves that last night. i was walking down state street on the way back from pilates (and ooh, la la, did i ever feel good!) and this distinguished woman with perfectly coifed red hair stepped out of a taxi and waited for her man to pay the bill (smart woman ;). she's dressed in a long blue dress, that modestly splits up the front, and is wearing a beautiful pin. every beautiful red hair is in place and swept up in a sort of chignon perhaps, and her makeup is impeccable. i decide i have to tell her something. so i stop and walk back to her and tell her...you look LOVELY! i don't know where you're going, but i wish i were going there! to my happiness, she looked very pleased (i wasn't sure if she was going to be a british snob) and said oh, thank you very much.
i just know i made her night.
you see, i love telling other women when they look good. for one thing, that really counts. men seem to think i look good in the middle of doing my laundry--which is no doubt true. however, women know when you really look good and you don't forget compliments from other women. especially if they're strangers, and also beautiful, like myself. ok, ok. i am getting a little vain here, but this song IS about me, damn it. ;)
so i now find myself wondering, like princess di, will i be able to age with beauty and grace and find myself full of more character and class every year? somehow i think so. it seems to be working so far...and just look at the good genes i came from! yes, chances are...
September 25, 2003
today's other topic: single by choice -- and proud of it
it is usually against society's norms and married women's wishes that women like me remain single. i've said this before. but in reading about some, uh, dating topics, i ran across the following statement:
(from this book on amazon site, titled younger men, older women...) "Increasing numbers of women are choosing to live their lives as single women."
my first thought? thank goodness i have been able to do that without wrecking someone else's life in the process...just think, women are leaving married life (what i suppose is supposed to be Nirvana) to join my singlehood (apparently the real Nirvana?).
hmmm. i have considered before that i was perhaps the envy of other people who would like to be single like me. now, i know it's true.
sad it doesn't feel as good as it sounds...
oh oh oh. here's another statement, which can be exactly the reason i tend to find younger men appealing. when they have their shirts on and i'm not distracted by the awesome way they look. from the same book on amazon:
"Today more and more women find the men of their generation stuck in an outdated patriarchal mode and the men of the next generation more eager for gender equality." ah yes, this is it.
i think younger than my age, they are younger than my age. like attracts like. well, especially when i also LOOK younger than my age. ;)
it is usually against society's norms and married women's wishes that women like me remain single. i've said this before. but in reading about some, uh, dating topics, i ran across the following statement:
(from this book on amazon site, titled younger men, older women...) "Increasing numbers of women are choosing to live their lives as single women."
my first thought? thank goodness i have been able to do that without wrecking someone else's life in the process...just think, women are leaving married life (what i suppose is supposed to be Nirvana) to join my singlehood (apparently the real Nirvana?).
hmmm. i have considered before that i was perhaps the envy of other people who would like to be single like me. now, i know it's true.
sad it doesn't feel as good as it sounds...
oh oh oh. here's another statement, which can be exactly the reason i tend to find younger men appealing. when they have their shirts on and i'm not distracted by the awesome way they look. from the same book on amazon:
"Today more and more women find the men of their generation stuck in an outdated patriarchal mode and the men of the next generation more eager for gender equality." ah yes, this is it.
i think younger than my age, they are younger than my age. like attracts like. well, especially when i also LOOK younger than my age. ;)
today's topic: details
so one of my friends told me he wants more details about my dating life. hmmm. details. as in when, where, how was it?
let me see what i can come up with that is within the bounds of decency. well, that would be just about everything i do! yes, just about. it's that other part that is the most fun.
ok. what should i talk about in a rather general but detailed way. what is it like to be 34 and date guys between the ages of 21 & 38? very very interesting. oh yes, but he was looking for details.
well, hard bodies are great. so much fun to look at. and poke, and punch, and pinch. like l's muscles. yes, it's you i'm talking about. but then you don't (usually) benefit from all the years of experience and other women that can perfect an older guy. so there are tradeoffs. but either age is fun for me. for long-term what would i pick? of course, a combination of the two. in my dreams...
more details later...have to do some more market research first. kidding. i have plenty of existing material to work off of, but then some of it, or all of it, is rather personal & not for general public consumption.
although, i will say, some guys tend to be very romantic and fun and unpredictable. and that, no matter what age they are, is just too good to be true.
ah, i did think of more. so. here's the problem: at my age and being single, as in not married, so probably nearly 10 more years than some of my counterparts, i of course have met more guys and been in more relationships. that presents some interesting challenges because i have now very definite ideas of what i think is a good physical relationship and what is not. and how to actually communicate that without hurting a guy's fragile ego is definitely somewhat like walking on eggshells. which again, does lend some benefits to being with younger guys. well, there are lots of benefits for that. except of course...the desire to actually take the relationship somewhere. so you have to like living in a cul-de-sac i guess if you're an older woman dating a younger guy...
so one of my friends told me he wants more details about my dating life. hmmm. details. as in when, where, how was it?
let me see what i can come up with that is within the bounds of decency. well, that would be just about everything i do! yes, just about. it's that other part that is the most fun.
ok. what should i talk about in a rather general but detailed way. what is it like to be 34 and date guys between the ages of 21 & 38? very very interesting. oh yes, but he was looking for details.
well, hard bodies are great. so much fun to look at. and poke, and punch, and pinch. like l's muscles. yes, it's you i'm talking about. but then you don't (usually) benefit from all the years of experience and other women that can perfect an older guy. so there are tradeoffs. but either age is fun for me. for long-term what would i pick? of course, a combination of the two. in my dreams...
more details later...have to do some more market research first. kidding. i have plenty of existing material to work off of, but then some of it, or all of it, is rather personal & not for general public consumption.
although, i will say, some guys tend to be very romantic and fun and unpredictable. and that, no matter what age they are, is just too good to be true.
ah, i did think of more. so. here's the problem: at my age and being single, as in not married, so probably nearly 10 more years than some of my counterparts, i of course have met more guys and been in more relationships. that presents some interesting challenges because i have now very definite ideas of what i think is a good physical relationship and what is not. and how to actually communicate that without hurting a guy's fragile ego is definitely somewhat like walking on eggshells. which again, does lend some benefits to being with younger guys. well, there are lots of benefits for that. except of course...the desire to actually take the relationship somewhere. so you have to like living in a cul-de-sac i guess if you're an older woman dating a younger guy...
September 23, 2003
so i walk into dunkin donuts this morning to get a tea and as i walk in there's this guy standing over to the left talking. and he says, so all in need is for a blond to walk up to me and say, will you marry me?
so...of course...i walked up to him and said will you marry me?
they're still laughing over there. so is he.
so...of course...i walked up to him and said will you marry me?
they're still laughing over there. so is he.
today's topic: mainelining it
sometimes, as i've said before, the stars align and magic happens. for some reason, that was this weekend. as short and wierd as the whole thing was, it was really magical for me. i am such a lucky person to have such great friends.
so i've decided to look for lakefront property in NH or ME. i'm content with renting in boston for now & might decide to buy land instead of overpriced pieces of wood in the city...
sometimes, as i've said before, the stars align and magic happens. for some reason, that was this weekend. as short and wierd as the whole thing was, it was really magical for me. i am such a lucky person to have such great friends.
so i've decided to look for lakefront property in NH or ME. i'm content with renting in boston for now & might decide to buy land instead of overpriced pieces of wood in the city...
September 18, 2003
today's post: gender gaps
there's something i don't understand. it's a known fact that men and women are different, but as it relates to certain things, why is this ok? for example...
when men are under stress they tend to contract and focus. i understand this. it's great. it allows you to block out everything but your objective and get it done efficiently.
when women are under stress they tend to expand and get distracted. i too understand this. it allows you to get lots of things done at once, something women are known to be very good at.
so why then, are women expected to do more than men when it comes to the family, housekeeping and things like that? because they can? a women gets stressed & she starts doing it all. no matter what it does to her, she'll get it done. a man will say screw it, i'm just getting this one thing done, let the rest go. what happens when there are kids involved? the woman expands her attention to take care of the kids. does a man shut them out?
in my experience this is totally the way it is. and i think it is very selfish. personally i think it is very selfish of men to shut out people and obligations because they happen to be under stress. let a woman try it for a day and the same man screams bloody murder.
what am i not getting about this picture? am i extremely biased, uneducated, just had a bad experience, think all men are like this when they're not? or am i right and the inequity of jobs-performed-while-under-stress is a fact of life?
there must be a man somewhere who is able to do everything at once. or else...there must be a women somewhere who can say screw it, i'm under stress, let everything and everyone else go to hell. i'm just gonna focus on THIS and get it done.
i don't know what reality is. but that's my perception anyway...and in marketing guess what? perception IS reality.
and...this must be the reason women have the kids.
there's something i don't understand. it's a known fact that men and women are different, but as it relates to certain things, why is this ok? for example...
when men are under stress they tend to contract and focus. i understand this. it's great. it allows you to block out everything but your objective and get it done efficiently.
when women are under stress they tend to expand and get distracted. i too understand this. it allows you to get lots of things done at once, something women are known to be very good at.
so why then, are women expected to do more than men when it comes to the family, housekeeping and things like that? because they can? a women gets stressed & she starts doing it all. no matter what it does to her, she'll get it done. a man will say screw it, i'm just getting this one thing done, let the rest go. what happens when there are kids involved? the woman expands her attention to take care of the kids. does a man shut them out?
in my experience this is totally the way it is. and i think it is very selfish. personally i think it is very selfish of men to shut out people and obligations because they happen to be under stress. let a woman try it for a day and the same man screams bloody murder.
what am i not getting about this picture? am i extremely biased, uneducated, just had a bad experience, think all men are like this when they're not? or am i right and the inequity of jobs-performed-while-under-stress is a fact of life?
there must be a man somewhere who is able to do everything at once. or else...there must be a women somewhere who can say screw it, i'm under stress, let everything and everyone else go to hell. i'm just gonna focus on THIS and get it done.
i don't know what reality is. but that's my perception anyway...and in marketing guess what? perception IS reality.
and...this must be the reason women have the kids.
September 16, 2003
today's post: as if.
so forgive me if i make fun of some random guy online who is a brief example of many others I've seen. here again are some don'ts...
from the dating website...
"I'm a one-woman guy" -- RIIIIght. That's assumed and if you have to say so...you aren't. (Much like the "trust me" line.)
"...that keeps nothing hidden" -- BORing. Some things we don't want to know.
"I am proud" -- Now why would you say this? Pride comes before a fall according to Solomon, and isn't a quality to be proud of.
"I am single by choice" -- Hmmm. As opposed to what, coercion?
I'm better at family gatherings etc. than clubs because "I don't think I get as much out of it as I put into it." -- Which would be what exactly? And you are what, keeping score?
"Have elegant hand writing" -- Are you a real man? I mean if you have a job as a caligrapher fine, but everyone types now days. Is this a selling point?
Wants someone that "makes love with passion, always as if it were the first time" -- Ok, really now. How long have you dated someone at a stretch anyhow?
And yes, he's "wicked smart" -- This means he comes from Maine or is a member of the Wicked Good band.
Well, I don't mean to be really mean, which I probably am, but anyhow, I'm starting to wonder...is this guy really single by choice? Hmmm. What do you think.
so forgive me if i make fun of some random guy online who is a brief example of many others I've seen. here again are some don'ts...
from the dating website...
"I'm a one-woman guy" -- RIIIIght. That's assumed and if you have to say so...you aren't. (Much like the "trust me" line.)
"...that keeps nothing hidden" -- BORing. Some things we don't want to know.
"I am proud" -- Now why would you say this? Pride comes before a fall according to Solomon, and isn't a quality to be proud of.
"I am single by choice" -- Hmmm. As opposed to what, coercion?
I'm better at family gatherings etc. than clubs because "I don't think I get as much out of it as I put into it." -- Which would be what exactly? And you are what, keeping score?
"Have elegant hand writing" -- Are you a real man? I mean if you have a job as a caligrapher fine, but everyone types now days. Is this a selling point?
Wants someone that "makes love with passion, always as if it were the first time" -- Ok, really now. How long have you dated someone at a stretch anyhow?
And yes, he's "wicked smart" -- This means he comes from Maine or is a member of the Wicked Good band.
Well, I don't mean to be really mean, which I probably am, but anyhow, I'm starting to wonder...is this guy really single by choice? Hmmm. What do you think.
September 11, 2003
today's topic: what were you thinking.
first date don'ts.
DON'T take your date to a fancy restaurant and then split every dish with her. dude, what were you thinking. pick a cheap place and let her have her OWN food. you can't split meals until she suggests it. no matter how nice she is, she is only being nice. it's not about the food, it's not about the money, it's about your lack of class & generosity. you'll never live this one down.
DON'T talk about your ex-girlfriend. and if you have to mention her, SHE HAS NO NAME.
dude, take a dating class. something. learn how to treat a woman. ayiyi.
first date don'ts.
DON'T take your date to a fancy restaurant and then split every dish with her. dude, what were you thinking. pick a cheap place and let her have her OWN food. you can't split meals until she suggests it. no matter how nice she is, she is only being nice. it's not about the food, it's not about the money, it's about your lack of class & generosity. you'll never live this one down.
DON'T talk about your ex-girlfriend. and if you have to mention her, SHE HAS NO NAME.
dude, take a dating class. something. learn how to treat a woman. ayiyi.
September 07, 2003
today's topic: the boss
this has nothing to do with dating. but what the hell, it's my blog.
we can hear the springsteen concert at fenway from my house. wow, can you believe it. we also found the best acoustical place to listen to the concerts. i'm not telling where it is so you don't show up with your dogs and blankets and chairs and fried chicken and beer. :) and ruin it for me.
nice end to a hot day in the sun (photos to follow).
and, oh wait, there's a skunk to top things off. nice sights, nice sounds, nice smells.
gotta love boston.
this has nothing to do with dating. but what the hell, it's my blog.
we can hear the springsteen concert at fenway from my house. wow, can you believe it. we also found the best acoustical place to listen to the concerts. i'm not telling where it is so you don't show up with your dogs and blankets and chairs and fried chicken and beer. :) and ruin it for me.
nice end to a hot day in the sun (photos to follow).
and, oh wait, there's a skunk to top things off. nice sights, nice sounds, nice smells.
gotta love boston.