it's getting [c]old

today is the coldest day in boston in 50 years. makes me want to move to a warmer place. where i can afford to buy a house by myself. and actually be in a town where men believe in dating. and i have a place to park my car. and i own a dog again who can run around without a leash for a while. and not have to live in my house with me, but has a little back yard just for him to bark at.

it's a beautiful world

beautiful men just keep popping up everywhere. or rather being everywhere. (he wasn't so much popping as far as i could see. and i definitely was watching.)

anyhow, yesterday on the train on the way home this malboro man sat down across from me & there was just something about him that fascinated me so much that i had to try not to stare at him the whole way home. he looked like aforesaid man, and also like an ex of mine. rugged, sad, confident, purposeful, and probably cold.

he was one of the sort that makes you want to know everything about them. is he straight? what does he do? does he WORK at looking this sexy? is he a model? what is it about him that makes one so intrigued?

so then last night i dreamed about my ex that looked like the train man who looked like the marlboro man. in my dream he was very friendly and affectionate with me for a while until he saw this beautiful blond woman with long hair (that looked like haley on the o.c.) & then he went and started making out with her. in front of me.

oddly, my reaction was more like, whatever, you can have her than jealousy or anger toward her. i think in my dream she was some extension of myself so i didn't really resent it. it was just odd.

damn men on trains. they lead to wierd dreams. will have to bury head in book to avoid good-looking somethings who wreak havoc with my head.

cold hands, warm heart

today we reached a high of 4 degrees. farenheit. niiice.

in other news, upstairs in my house lives the cutest guy. i mean he's adorable. college student with great looks, a nice personality ("can i help you carry that?" always works) and a to-die-for-voice. that always gets me. a mix between jack nicholson & christian slater.

i think i will begin to have various and sundry problems with my house (boiler overflowing, doors not opening, etc. that require the immediate attention of Cute Guys Upstairs.

however. i will under no circumstances date him. because he has a girlfriend. and because, only worse than dating a guy in the office...is dating a guy who lives upstairs. yeah, i know this. that's how i know what their apartment looks like upstairs...

happy travels

i'm out of state right now visiting family. traveling while single is pretty cool. i've done it for years & really find it fun in its own way. there's something very liberting about it. if you haven't done it before, it's a scary thing. but you get used to it & like all things, learn to really enjoy it.

airline travel alone can be quite relaxing (if you 1) have your boarding pass b4 you get to the airport and 2) check no bags). other than having to drag your luggage everywhere by yourself & not being able to leave it with someone while you run & do whatever, it's pretty cool to travel alone. i dig it! only caveat: must have someone on the other end to pick you up or meet you at some point...

plus while being single you get lots more attention from pilots & other various and sundry unshaven, sexy, travel-worn guys. not bad. ;)

my christmas pie upon which was heaped gobs of compliments by non-apple-pie-enthusiasts as it wasn't too sweet or too dry or too cinnamony, and the apples were all cooked & it was light & and just right.

merry christmas!

today i'm baking an apple pie for christmas. we're having a very non-traditional christmas dinner with everyone's favorite food that they wanted to make. my choices were gorgonzola spinach salad & apple pie. then we're having baked artichoke with garlic dip and garlic mashed potatoes (a la cheese cake factory style) and various and sundry other christmasy things.

i'll let you know how the pie turns out. if you're single, good-looking, smart, talented and sweet to me, you just might get lucky. and get some. pie, that is.

tomorrow i'll put up a picture of my christmas pie.

moving right along

there comes a point when you're my age (34) that you figure your life may not turn out the way you thought. (marraige, kids, house w/ picket fence). so you start working toward alternate plan b...which means all of the above in an order optional to your particular preferences. though it makes sense to get the car before the house, and the house before the kids, and marraige somewhere before the kids, we now have the option of bucking society's preferences and doing it all wrong.

i just might do that as i have stable job with probable actual "career" making reappearance after long hibernation during the economic downturn. this morning i found out that i can get prequalified for the amount of house i want ($ amount that is, not SQF being in boston!). might be a good thing to get all that in order & get self some equity before addressing the kids issue...

it's an odd thing to be contemplating buying a house by yourself. one tends to imagine it filled with loving family. but then there is the point where you want an investment and you are TIRED of strangers tramping over your head in a 3-story and banging things at 1:37 a.m. and then of course, you have to plant yourself in one of the most expensive cities in the US where home/condo ownership is NOT cheaper than renting but only about 5 times more expensive and there you are saying hmmm. yes, i too could pay $349K for a condo to have some little dog with pink toenails run around on the floor overhead...or...i could buy a house for the same amount and not have the little dog with pink toenails run around on the floor overhead. see, that's where the house makes sense, no matter who lives there. excepting the little dog with pink toenails.

won't you not be my friend

whoever thought that men and women can be platonic friends is wrong. women can perhaps. perhaps. men? no. men don't bother unless they want to sleep with you. though they may not do anything of the sort, if you're not good enough for that, you're not good enough to be a friend.

so that means all my guy friends who are straight...have to go. why? because when they get s.o.'s, i will be hated by them & they will be forbidden from associating from me anyhow. so. might as well admit it now & just walk away.

i used to be friends with quite a few guy friends, but for some reason or another, very few remain. and true to my theory, i tend to have/will/might date/d them.

i'm tired of being single. i'm tired of being hated by women. and i'm tired of being dissed by my former guy friends b/c they have no choice. time to date someone. that's my new years resolution!

funnybone

a recent poll in cosmo shows that men think the #1 thing women really want is a sense of humor. i don't get that.

i like it when men are funny, but i don't require it. Sure a good laugh now and then is great, but you can find that a lot of places. Perhaps compatability is measured by laughter or something. I think laughter signifies a mental connection but it doesn't make me fall in love with anyone. It's not like I think, he's the funniest guy i ever met. damn, i want him.

oh well. i guess guys realize that when you are having fun with them you tend to smile and laugh over non-funny things -- simply because you're happy. i assume they mistake that for them being funny, being the wonderful performance-oriented creatures they are.

whatever the reason, laughing is good. but being funny in itself, not so hot. unless she already likes you, it's not like it will make a diff...

one smart chick

i don't remember the name of the girl on average joe (cuz i'm a woman), but she's a bright one. she asks good questions and the answers are oh so revealing.

in the last episode she canned the suave but slimy south american because he dated druggies and waited for 6 hours to catch a cheater. good move. and the guy who was so insecure he needed her to bolster his ego. not a job a woman wants to have. (somewhere between insecure and being a jerk is the correct ratio, boys)

and she asked a bright question to the cute, curly haired underwear model. what kinda girls do you date? him: duhhhhhhhhhhh, i dunno, all kids. and what do you usually talk to them about: uhhhhh, nothing. i think she gave up after that, calling him "young". i would have used another term, but she was very gracious.

the wall street trader is a real winner. i hope she ends up with him. he's gonna work his butt off (literally) to cover his weaknesses, and that bodes well for taking care of her well. plus, he's brilliant. quick, articulate, funny, sweet. he's a real pick. rooting for him all the way, whatever his name is...

schizophrenic

men continue to attract and perturb me.

but...i guess that's the nature of the game. a guy i'm seeing now is proving to be absolutely dependable and that's quite a turnon. sometimes boring is good.

and sometimes exotic is good. my attraction to foreign men never has quite gone away, though i no longer date them. their ability to say "my wish is your command" oh shit, that was a freudian slip. i meant to say "your wish is my command" as one cute armenian said to me. but literally, of course, he would mean the first over time. ha. anyway, foreign men can look you deep in the eye and say stupid things and it comes across just so rico suave. i really did not say this either. anyhow, my belabored point continuing, american men that want to be taken seriously can't say these things. it's like a snow man putting on suntan lotion. just doesn't work. looks stupid, sounds stupid, and you sure as hell know he's a player. whereas if they're adorable and accent-ed, somehow it all makes you melt into a puddle...

other men i see greatly perturb me. the factor being: with some pride they congratulate their s.o.'s on putting up with them. this i cannot figure out. if you think you're hard to live with, change. if you can't change your attitudes, at least try to modify your behavior.

one of my friends is a proud "reformed pig". that i like. know you were once a pig, but be one no longer. that's a nice mix.

meaning: be a pig to someone else and treat me like a princess. or else i may just act like one...