coming up roses
i have a beautiful bouquet on my desk, with lilies, gerber daisies and other various and sundry flowerish things that make women's hearts go pitterpat. this one is from my boss for secretaries day, and i must admit, this is one perk for this position that i love. i also am rationing out the godiva truffles which should last until about the time he and my other bosses take me out to lunch.
there is something about flowers that makes me forget all other perceived ills. i have only good will toward my boss now. interesting how that works & how men, when in relationships, take advantage of it.
i wouldn't mind if some man took advantage of it for me about now.
but one smart woman yesterday in the national admin meeting said...if you want flowers, grow your own. which is precisely why i'm trying to decide if maybe i don't want that house after all instead of the condo....
April 22, 2004
April 19, 2004
sum things i don't understand
perhaps it's because i'm single, or maybe because i am me, but i really don't get some things about what women expect of men.
#1: women expect men to be home for dinner. on time.
my response: now really ladies, this is the new millenium. this isn't the 1950s. and me? i don't eat "dinner". so will my man need to be home for dinner? no. will he get any when he gets home? maybe. just about the same answer as if i would get dinner made by him waiting for me when i get home.
i just don't care that much about eating with people. during the years i grew up, we had a lot of fights at the dinner table. now i'd just rather eat in front of the tv or something. "DINNER" is not a hot button for me. if my man wants dinner when he gets home he can 1) call for a pizza & pick it up on the way home, 2) bribe me for dinner, 3) make his own (and mine too). otherwise, he can do what i'm doing when i get home from work: see what is in the fridge and put it on a plate and eat it.
IMHO, "dinner" is much ado about nothing.
however, the on-time part is another topic!
#2: women expect men to take out the garbage, mow lawn, and nag nag nag until it gets done.
my response: why is this a man's job? like women have no arms. i'll either take out the garbage myself (after all i grew up doing it) or it will mold and rot until someone breaks down & does it.
and the lawn & other stuff? if my man agrees to do/fix something i'll give him a reasonable amount of time & then if he doesn't do it, i'll hire someone else to. when he sees the bill chances are he'll get on it next time. if he doesn't care, why should i. i'll just start hiring people to clean the house too while we're at it. we'll have less fights, more done and more time to play. of course we'll be poor, but who cares. we'll be poor and happy.
who the hell cares if he doesn't do all this stuff? not me...not right now anyhow. wait until you see my boyfriend-blog and then i'm sure i'll have another opinion (full of trying to coerce him into "doing the right thing", god forbid.
what do i care about?
damn it, be a man of your word. if you say you'll call, call. if you say you'll show up, show up. if you say you'll do something do it. or else i'll find someone else who'd be most happy to do all of the above in your place.
nuff said.
perhaps it's because i'm single, or maybe because i am me, but i really don't get some things about what women expect of men.
#1: women expect men to be home for dinner. on time.
my response: now really ladies, this is the new millenium. this isn't the 1950s. and me? i don't eat "dinner". so will my man need to be home for dinner? no. will he get any when he gets home? maybe. just about the same answer as if i would get dinner made by him waiting for me when i get home.
i just don't care that much about eating with people. during the years i grew up, we had a lot of fights at the dinner table. now i'd just rather eat in front of the tv or something. "DINNER" is not a hot button for me. if my man wants dinner when he gets home he can 1) call for a pizza & pick it up on the way home, 2) bribe me for dinner, 3) make his own (and mine too). otherwise, he can do what i'm doing when i get home from work: see what is in the fridge and put it on a plate and eat it.
IMHO, "dinner" is much ado about nothing.
however, the on-time part is another topic!
#2: women expect men to take out the garbage, mow lawn, and nag nag nag until it gets done.
my response: why is this a man's job? like women have no arms. i'll either take out the garbage myself (after all i grew up doing it) or it will mold and rot until someone breaks down & does it.
and the lawn & other stuff? if my man agrees to do/fix something i'll give him a reasonable amount of time & then if he doesn't do it, i'll hire someone else to. when he sees the bill chances are he'll get on it next time. if he doesn't care, why should i. i'll just start hiring people to clean the house too while we're at it. we'll have less fights, more done and more time to play. of course we'll be poor, but who cares. we'll be poor and happy.
who the hell cares if he doesn't do all this stuff? not me...not right now anyhow. wait until you see my boyfriend-blog and then i'm sure i'll have another opinion (full of trying to coerce him into "doing the right thing", god forbid.
what do i care about?
damn it, be a man of your word. if you say you'll call, call. if you say you'll show up, show up. if you say you'll do something do it. or else i'll find someone else who'd be most happy to do all of the above in your place.
nuff said.
April 07, 2004
just plumb beat
looking for real estate is a nasty process. it really warps your mind. imagining yourself living in lots of different places makes your brain go "huh?" and there you are not sure where you REALLY do live anymore & what you think about it.
today i "let go" of my current buyer's agent (who was also a seller's agent for other people) and "hired" an exclusive buyer's agent. we'll see if things go any better. i'm sad cuz i really liked this guy but hey, i'd probably pick a sure sale over me too. anyhow, so we'll see if working with a woman is any better. i at least won't get a crush on her.
so to take my mind off of RE, i've decided to think about boys again. (wait, did i ever stop?) and go away for the weekend. so i'll be gone over easter weekend & drive through texas thinking, gees, i could buy a ranch for the price of 300 sqf here in boston. ok ok, i won't think about RE in dallas. i'll think about boys.
and it seems, if it's not one of the two, it's going to have to be ... babies. yes, i did say the b word. sad, but gotta admit life goes on with or without a man. i won't go into that topic now, but someday you'll have to hear about it! in the meantime, enjoy me bitching about condos!
looking for real estate is a nasty process. it really warps your mind. imagining yourself living in lots of different places makes your brain go "huh?" and there you are not sure where you REALLY do live anymore & what you think about it.
today i "let go" of my current buyer's agent (who was also a seller's agent for other people) and "hired" an exclusive buyer's agent. we'll see if things go any better. i'm sad cuz i really liked this guy but hey, i'd probably pick a sure sale over me too. anyhow, so we'll see if working with a woman is any better. i at least won't get a crush on her.
so to take my mind off of RE, i've decided to think about boys again. (wait, did i ever stop?) and go away for the weekend. so i'll be gone over easter weekend & drive through texas thinking, gees, i could buy a ranch for the price of 300 sqf here in boston. ok ok, i won't think about RE in dallas. i'll think about boys.
and it seems, if it's not one of the two, it's going to have to be ... babies. yes, i did say the b word. sad, but gotta admit life goes on with or without a man. i won't go into that topic now, but someday you'll have to hear about it! in the meantime, enjoy me bitching about condos!
April 03, 2004
exit strategy
well, i withdrew my offer on the beautiful renovated victorian condo. to my sadness. the @#%#^$ sellers agent "forgot" to mention that the back staircase was for emergencies only. since the condo is so small and i need that staircase to feel like i'm not locked in, and because it takes up quite a bit of space of the 703 sqf, i backed out. but not without paying the $325 inspection fee. blasted realtor. however, my buyers agent was very nice & agreed to assume the fee in his commission, should i buy a place thru him. that was nice.
so i'm back looking at places again next week. but not right now. tired of it. what an exhausting process to do all by ones self. but at least...i can pick whatever the hell i want and i have only myself to please in buying a place. that is nice!
well, i withdrew my offer on the beautiful renovated victorian condo. to my sadness. the @#%#^$ sellers agent "forgot" to mention that the back staircase was for emergencies only. since the condo is so small and i need that staircase to feel like i'm not locked in, and because it takes up quite a bit of space of the 703 sqf, i backed out. but not without paying the $325 inspection fee. blasted realtor. however, my buyers agent was very nice & agreed to assume the fee in his commission, should i buy a place thru him. that was nice.
so i'm back looking at places again next week. but not right now. tired of it. what an exhausting process to do all by ones self. but at least...i can pick whatever the hell i want and i have only myself to please in buying a place. that is nice!
March 23, 2004
a-loan & blue
my head is spinning with mortgage rates day & night! if it's not that, it's what do i want to buy. ugh. must stop & think about something else.
but not this...
since my hair is short again, not intentionally, i now get hit on by girls again. ugh. i really hate that. yesterday some chick was telling me how beautiful the moon was as i was walking away from the t-stop. who the hell cares. i'd seen the moon over the boston sky-line already (nothing better than right behind the custom house!). it's not any better over a traffic light with someone pointing it out to me, hoping i'll walk up the street with them...or a little bit more.
i really hate being hit on. i must grow my hair back out again just to avoid it.
my head is spinning with mortgage rates day & night! if it's not that, it's what do i want to buy. ugh. must stop & think about something else.
but not this...
since my hair is short again, not intentionally, i now get hit on by girls again. ugh. i really hate that. yesterday some chick was telling me how beautiful the moon was as i was walking away from the t-stop. who the hell cares. i'd seen the moon over the boston sky-line already (nothing better than right behind the custom house!). it's not any better over a traffic light with someone pointing it out to me, hoping i'll walk up the street with them...or a little bit more.
i really hate being hit on. i must grow my hair back out again just to avoid it.
March 20, 2004
evasiveness
well, my online dating success continues to be an elusive goal. probably because i've just begun it again, duh. there are a few guys that have written to me that sound nice & sweet. (except for the stalker middle-eastern guy who wrote me 3 times without response so i had to block him. what is it with me & middle eastern stalker men?) so perhaps i'll meet up with a few good men. but it's annoying. guys think they're so wonderful they don't have to post a picture. but they write these enticing e-mails that you think, hmmm. maybe he's something to look at. and then...(to be continued when i see the pictures ;)
in the meantime, and pretty much all the time, there's something nice and comforting about exes. especially ones that you haven't seen in a long time & you both have morphed into these oh-so-awesome versions of your former selves. i'm quite enjoying being both "gorgeous" and "good-lookin" in one day as expressed by two different guys with impeccable taste, of course. ;) you gotta admit that knowing someone for 10 years, even if you haven't lived in the same place, is cool. especially in this day and age of mobile-this and e-that.
my condo/house search continues with some more open-houses on sunday. i'm gonna get myself a buyers' broker in hopes that having one of them plus a lawyer will protect me from all kinds of ills that could befall me in my new adventure. i'm dreaming of my kitten pooping all over the floor, no wait. i'm dreaming of my kitten lazing in the sunny window of my new place, after i've cleaned up all the poop, licking her paws (she is, that is). and my favorite music is playing (let's make it the moldeau by smetana), i'm drinking hot coffee (ghiradelli's chocolate coffee) and writing an e-mail to my friend p. about how fun it is to be poor with no furniture, but damn, how nice it is to have my own place. then because i won't be able to afford to travel anymore, i'll put posters up of all the places i think i'd want to go but haven't cared enuf in the past to get there. nah, screw that. i'll travel & just not have a fridge...
well, my online dating success continues to be an elusive goal. probably because i've just begun it again, duh. there are a few guys that have written to me that sound nice & sweet. (except for the stalker middle-eastern guy who wrote me 3 times without response so i had to block him. what is it with me & middle eastern stalker men?) so perhaps i'll meet up with a few good men. but it's annoying. guys think they're so wonderful they don't have to post a picture. but they write these enticing e-mails that you think, hmmm. maybe he's something to look at. and then...(to be continued when i see the pictures ;)
in the meantime, and pretty much all the time, there's something nice and comforting about exes. especially ones that you haven't seen in a long time & you both have morphed into these oh-so-awesome versions of your former selves. i'm quite enjoying being both "gorgeous" and "good-lookin" in one day as expressed by two different guys with impeccable taste, of course. ;) you gotta admit that knowing someone for 10 years, even if you haven't lived in the same place, is cool. especially in this day and age of mobile-this and e-that.
my condo/house search continues with some more open-houses on sunday. i'm gonna get myself a buyers' broker in hopes that having one of them plus a lawyer will protect me from all kinds of ills that could befall me in my new adventure. i'm dreaming of my kitten pooping all over the floor, no wait. i'm dreaming of my kitten lazing in the sunny window of my new place, after i've cleaned up all the poop, licking her paws (she is, that is). and my favorite music is playing (let's make it the moldeau by smetana), i'm drinking hot coffee (ghiradelli's chocolate coffee) and writing an e-mail to my friend p. about how fun it is to be poor with no furniture, but damn, how nice it is to have my own place. then because i won't be able to afford to travel anymore, i'll put posters up of all the places i think i'd want to go but haven't cared enuf in the past to get there. nah, screw that. i'll travel & just not have a fridge...
March 17, 2004
on the line again
after i keep seeing my friends hook up with people online, and happily so (and by hook up i mean get permanently attached), i've decided to venture online again for what the 7th time. this time i'm using creative lines that go something like "looking for a kind man who doesn't prefer a bitch." i kid you not. you know that bitches get the nice boys. perhaps it's the psychological dominatrix thing. i don't feel like being a bitch unless i need to. it's a waste of energy. (who needs to create all those problems just FTHOI?) i'm also stating exactly what i'm looking for. educated, cultured, smart, accomplished. we'll see who steps up to bat...
so far i'm having no better success than b4. there are these charming guys who think they can write to me & i don't need to know what they look like in return. aka the missing bandits. when i ask my guy friend why guys do this he sagely replies "cuz they don't want their girlfriends to see them." nice. then there are the divorced ones with kids that i have to think twice about. i'm not sure i'm that much of a saint. and the other ones who pretend they're my age but clearly look 50. and still the other "height-weight proportionate" (read "i'm completely satisfied with my non-gymness") guys who haven't read the part where i said i look young for my age and looking for someone who takes good care of themselves (as in "i like younger men"). oh well, i suppose it's all a crap shoot from their point of view. and believe me, from the looks of things, from mine also. ;)
in other news...i got preapproved for my mortgage from one lender & am now lender shopping. without the house. that's good. no stress. i can take my time. besides, who wants to triple their monthly expenses without a warm body beside them to make up for it? well, time for a doggy! but ugh, not on the bed.
after i keep seeing my friends hook up with people online, and happily so (and by hook up i mean get permanently attached), i've decided to venture online again for what the 7th time. this time i'm using creative lines that go something like "looking for a kind man who doesn't prefer a bitch." i kid you not. you know that bitches get the nice boys. perhaps it's the psychological dominatrix thing. i don't feel like being a bitch unless i need to. it's a waste of energy. (who needs to create all those problems just FTHOI?) i'm also stating exactly what i'm looking for. educated, cultured, smart, accomplished. we'll see who steps up to bat...
so far i'm having no better success than b4. there are these charming guys who think they can write to me & i don't need to know what they look like in return. aka the missing bandits. when i ask my guy friend why guys do this he sagely replies "cuz they don't want their girlfriends to see them." nice. then there are the divorced ones with kids that i have to think twice about. i'm not sure i'm that much of a saint. and the other ones who pretend they're my age but clearly look 50. and still the other "height-weight proportionate" (read "i'm completely satisfied with my non-gymness") guys who haven't read the part where i said i look young for my age and looking for someone who takes good care of themselves (as in "i like younger men"). oh well, i suppose it's all a crap shoot from their point of view. and believe me, from the looks of things, from mine also. ;)
in other news...i got preapproved for my mortgage from one lender & am now lender shopping. without the house. that's good. no stress. i can take my time. besides, who wants to triple their monthly expenses without a warm body beside them to make up for it? well, time for a doggy! but ugh, not on the bed.
March 12, 2004
"i'm a big girl now"
i've decided to buy something. or to get ready to buy when i feel like it. how nice that i live in one of the top two most expensive housing markets!!
so i'm working my way through the financing maze, getting smarter every day. as scary as it is, it's kinda cool to be a big girl & do it all myself.
yup, one house coming right up! and yes, i'll take the snow-covered roof on it, as right now (in march) that's the weather special for the day.
i've decided to buy something. or to get ready to buy when i feel like it. how nice that i live in one of the top two most expensive housing markets!!
so i'm working my way through the financing maze, getting smarter every day. as scary as it is, it's kinda cool to be a big girl & do it all myself.
yup, one house coming right up! and yes, i'll take the snow-covered roof on it, as right now (in march) that's the weather special for the day.
March 05, 2004
moments like these
this week rocked. not only did my youth orchestra perform a flawless and electric rendition of my violin teacher/conductor/mentor's oratorio in carnegie hall, i got to see some of my friends again that i haven't seen for years -- like 10!
when i went backstage after the concert (which i didn't perform in due to my damn neck being in rehab) i was grabbed & hugged & kissed by friends & exES alike. mmmmm. afterwards a bunch of us went out all night.
ya know, there's some sort of bond there with people that you've traveled with. especially to cool places like petra, the pyramids, the great wall of china, and the kremlin.
this week rocked. not only did my youth orchestra perform a flawless and electric rendition of my violin teacher/conductor/mentor's oratorio in carnegie hall, i got to see some of my friends again that i haven't seen for years -- like 10!
when i went backstage after the concert (which i didn't perform in due to my damn neck being in rehab) i was grabbed & hugged & kissed by friends & exES alike. mmmmm. afterwards a bunch of us went out all night.
ya know, there's some sort of bond there with people that you've traveled with. especially to cool places like petra, the pyramids, the great wall of china, and the kremlin.
February 27, 2004
sweet dreams
last night i dreamed that this baby eagle fell from the sky. it landed in our living room & i ran to get my camera & get a picture of it. when i focused in on it, it looked like a kitten! i got a few pictures of it and then all these kids came into the room. when they left, i couldn't find my camera. (later i decided i wanted to search all of their belongings because i was sure one of them had taken it, but of course their escorts declined.)
anyhow, the eagle grew up suddenly and turned into this gorgeous guy! he was tall, thin, with dark hair & a great body. and he really liked me. he put his arm around me & was talking to me. then he started making out with me & i had to stop him b/c of course he was trying to go too far too fast.
i told him my camera had been stolen by the kids, but we never did recover it.
in another sequence i was going to visit another guy in the dream. in this occasion, i broke into the guy's house to see him, unaware that there were sleeping dogs in front of the door inside. it was dark so i couldn't see them. when i realized they were there, i tried to leave quietly. he heard that i was there and came out with me & we went to the car. suddenly i heard a lion's roar, and realized that the old man the boy lived with had unleashed his pet lion in the yard. i ran for the car door & he unlocked it just in time for me to get in and escape the lion. the old man came and sat in front with the boy, while i sat in the back seat. i don't know why the old man was there or who invited him. i sure didn't! or why he sat in the front seat. the bastard.
last night i dreamed that this baby eagle fell from the sky. it landed in our living room & i ran to get my camera & get a picture of it. when i focused in on it, it looked like a kitten! i got a few pictures of it and then all these kids came into the room. when they left, i couldn't find my camera. (later i decided i wanted to search all of their belongings because i was sure one of them had taken it, but of course their escorts declined.)
anyhow, the eagle grew up suddenly and turned into this gorgeous guy! he was tall, thin, with dark hair & a great body. and he really liked me. he put his arm around me & was talking to me. then he started making out with me & i had to stop him b/c of course he was trying to go too far too fast.
i told him my camera had been stolen by the kids, but we never did recover it.
in another sequence i was going to visit another guy in the dream. in this occasion, i broke into the guy's house to see him, unaware that there were sleeping dogs in front of the door inside. it was dark so i couldn't see them. when i realized they were there, i tried to leave quietly. he heard that i was there and came out with me & we went to the car. suddenly i heard a lion's roar, and realized that the old man the boy lived with had unleashed his pet lion in the yard. i ran for the car door & he unlocked it just in time for me to get in and escape the lion. the old man came and sat in front with the boy, while i sat in the back seat. i don't know why the old man was there or who invited him. i sure didn't! or why he sat in the front seat. the bastard.
February 20, 2004
real men don't eat (my) quiche
i just baked the best quiche that ever was made. mmmmm. you have NO idea how good it was. it possibly, possibly rivals my 3rd apple pie.
i'm going to make someone very very happy someday. me. i love my baking. and dammit, so does everyone else that eats it.
you'd never guess...i'm talented in the kitchen as well. who would thunk it.
i just baked the best quiche that ever was made. mmmmm. you have NO idea how good it was. it possibly, possibly rivals my 3rd apple pie.
i'm going to make someone very very happy someday. me. i love my baking. and dammit, so does everyone else that eats it.
you'd never guess...i'm talented in the kitchen as well. who would thunk it.