intruder
this morning i woke up from a dream...
i was in a dark house with some guy i knew well who was worried about people outside with guns. i was laying on the couch, and he said to cover up with a blanket so i did. i still looked anyhow, and suddenly there were people all over inside the house with guns. one of them came up to me and pointed the gun at my head while i was laying there. i woke up wondering if he was going to pull the trigger and what it would feel like.
surprisingly, i wasn't that scared. my heart wasn't beating fast & i wasn't shocked about the dream.
it's just odd. what does it mean? and why wasn't i more worried???
February 04, 2004
February 01, 2004
cooking for sport
i do not consider myself A Cook. however, i am becoming a cook. for fun. not for necessity. i tend to be a moderate feminist who believes that men are capable of opening cans and using forks to feed themselves, and should they wish more edible vituals, may also prepare them, and that only children need to be fed until they can feed themselves, in which case they may learn to help prepare food so they will know how to take care of themselves when they grow up.
i do cook for men however when i really like them, as a favor. because i like doing something nice that i know they like. i also prefer to keep it that way and tend to like guys who also cook so that i don't feel he's gonna die if I don't feed him! ;)
it is only lately that i have started cooking as an art form, similar to musical talents which are heard, and photography which is seen. food can be an art form that is smelled and eaten. so therefore, i have started cooking.
as you saw, my first foray was my christmas pie which turned out excellently. i am now on my 3rd successful attempt to make apple pie, this time from scratch (i.e. including the crust.) i will include a picture again if it turns out looking nice. you can believe, it will turn out tasting nice, as i am a good cook, inspite of myself.
and...boyfriend bware...i believe the best match for a cook for a sport is a dishwasher for sport. for much like a racecar driver, i don't believe that i should both drive AND be changing the tires at the same time. don't you agree???
i do not consider myself A Cook. however, i am becoming a cook. for fun. not for necessity. i tend to be a moderate feminist who believes that men are capable of opening cans and using forks to feed themselves, and should they wish more edible vituals, may also prepare them, and that only children need to be fed until they can feed themselves, in which case they may learn to help prepare food so they will know how to take care of themselves when they grow up.
i do cook for men however when i really like them, as a favor. because i like doing something nice that i know they like. i also prefer to keep it that way and tend to like guys who also cook so that i don't feel he's gonna die if I don't feed him! ;)
it is only lately that i have started cooking as an art form, similar to musical talents which are heard, and photography which is seen. food can be an art form that is smelled and eaten. so therefore, i have started cooking.
as you saw, my first foray was my christmas pie which turned out excellently. i am now on my 3rd successful attempt to make apple pie, this time from scratch (i.e. including the crust.) i will include a picture again if it turns out looking nice. you can believe, it will turn out tasting nice, as i am a good cook, inspite of myself.
and...boyfriend bware...i believe the best match for a cook for a sport is a dishwasher for sport. for much like a racecar driver, i don't believe that i should both drive AND be changing the tires at the same time. don't you agree???
January 16, 2004
it's getting [c]old
today is the coldest day in boston in 50 years. makes me want to move to a warmer place. where i can afford to buy a house by myself. and actually be in a town where men believe in dating. and i have a place to park my car. and i own a dog again who can run around without a leash for a while. and not have to live in my house with me, but has a little back yard just for him to bark at.
today is the coldest day in boston in 50 years. makes me want to move to a warmer place. where i can afford to buy a house by myself. and actually be in a town where men believe in dating. and i have a place to park my car. and i own a dog again who can run around without a leash for a while. and not have to live in my house with me, but has a little back yard just for him to bark at.
January 15, 2004
it's a beautiful world
beautiful men just keep popping up everywhere. or rather being everywhere. (he wasn't so much popping as far as i could see. and i definitely was watching.)
anyhow, yesterday on the train on the way home this malboro man sat down across from me & there was just something about him that fascinated me so much that i had to try not to stare at him the whole way home. he looked like aforesaid man, and also like an ex of mine. rugged, sad, confident, purposeful, and probably cold.
he was one of the sort that makes you want to know everything about them. is he straight? what does he do? does he WORK at looking this sexy? is he a model? what is it about him that makes one so intrigued?
so then last night i dreamed about my ex that looked like the train man who looked like the marlboro man. in my dream he was very friendly and affectionate with me for a while until he saw this beautiful blond woman with long hair (that looked like haley on the o.c.) & then he went and started making out with her. in front of me.
oddly, my reaction was more like, whatever, you can have her than jealousy or anger toward her. i think in my dream she was some extension of myself so i didn't really resent it. it was just odd.
damn men on trains. they lead to wierd dreams. will have to bury head in book to avoid good-looking somethings who wreak havoc with my head.
beautiful men just keep popping up everywhere. or rather being everywhere. (he wasn't so much popping as far as i could see. and i definitely was watching.)
anyhow, yesterday on the train on the way home this malboro man sat down across from me & there was just something about him that fascinated me so much that i had to try not to stare at him the whole way home. he looked like aforesaid man, and also like an ex of mine. rugged, sad, confident, purposeful, and probably cold.
he was one of the sort that makes you want to know everything about them. is he straight? what does he do? does he WORK at looking this sexy? is he a model? what is it about him that makes one so intrigued?
so then last night i dreamed about my ex that looked like the train man who looked like the marlboro man. in my dream he was very friendly and affectionate with me for a while until he saw this beautiful blond woman with long hair (that looked like haley on the o.c.) & then he went and started making out with her. in front of me.
oddly, my reaction was more like, whatever, you can have her than jealousy or anger toward her. i think in my dream she was some extension of myself so i didn't really resent it. it was just odd.
damn men on trains. they lead to wierd dreams. will have to bury head in book to avoid good-looking somethings who wreak havoc with my head.
January 14, 2004
cold hands, warm heart
today we reached a high of 4 degrees. farenheit. niiice.
in other news, upstairs in my house lives the cutest guy. i mean he's adorable. college student with great looks, a nice personality ("can i help you carry that?" always works) and a to-die-for-voice. that always gets me. a mix between jack nicholson & christian slater.
i think i will begin to have various and sundry problems with my house (boiler overflowing, doors not opening, etc. that require the immediate attention of Cute Guys Upstairs.
however. i will under no circumstances date him. because he has a girlfriend. and because, only worse than dating a guy in the office...is dating a guy who lives upstairs. yeah, i know this. that's how i know what their apartment looks like upstairs...
today we reached a high of 4 degrees. farenheit. niiice.
in other news, upstairs in my house lives the cutest guy. i mean he's adorable. college student with great looks, a nice personality ("can i help you carry that?" always works) and a to-die-for-voice. that always gets me. a mix between jack nicholson & christian slater.
i think i will begin to have various and sundry problems with my house (boiler overflowing, doors not opening, etc. that require the immediate attention of Cute Guys Upstairs.
however. i will under no circumstances date him. because he has a girlfriend. and because, only worse than dating a guy in the office...is dating a guy who lives upstairs. yeah, i know this. that's how i know what their apartment looks like upstairs...
December 31, 2003
happy travels
i'm out of state right now visiting family. traveling while single is pretty cool. i've done it for years & really find it fun in its own way. there's something very liberting about it. if you haven't done it before, it's a scary thing. but you get used to it & like all things, learn to really enjoy it.
airline travel alone can be quite relaxing (if you 1) have your boarding pass b4 you get to the airport and 2) check no bags). other than having to drag your luggage everywhere by yourself & not being able to leave it with someone while you run & do whatever, it's pretty cool to travel alone. i dig it! only caveat: must have someone on the other end to pick you up or meet you at some point...
plus while being single you get lots more attention from pilots & other various and sundry unshaven, sexy, travel-worn guys. not bad. ;)
i'm out of state right now visiting family. traveling while single is pretty cool. i've done it for years & really find it fun in its own way. there's something very liberting about it. if you haven't done it before, it's a scary thing. but you get used to it & like all things, learn to really enjoy it.
airline travel alone can be quite relaxing (if you 1) have your boarding pass b4 you get to the airport and 2) check no bags). other than having to drag your luggage everywhere by yourself & not being able to leave it with someone while you run & do whatever, it's pretty cool to travel alone. i dig it! only caveat: must have someone on the other end to pick you up or meet you at some point...
plus while being single you get lots more attention from pilots & other various and sundry unshaven, sexy, travel-worn guys. not bad. ;)
December 25, 2003
merry christmas!
today i'm baking an apple pie for christmas. we're having a very non-traditional christmas dinner with everyone's favorite food that they wanted to make. my choices were gorgonzola spinach salad & apple pie. then we're having baked artichoke with garlic dip and garlic mashed potatoes (a la cheese cake factory style) and various and sundry other christmasy things.
i'll let you know how the pie turns out. if you're single, good-looking, smart, talented and sweet to me, you just might get lucky. and get some. pie, that is.
tomorrow i'll put up a picture of my christmas pie.
today i'm baking an apple pie for christmas. we're having a very non-traditional christmas dinner with everyone's favorite food that they wanted to make. my choices were gorgonzola spinach salad & apple pie. then we're having baked artichoke with garlic dip and garlic mashed potatoes (a la cheese cake factory style) and various and sundry other christmasy things.
i'll let you know how the pie turns out. if you're single, good-looking, smart, talented and sweet to me, you just might get lucky. and get some. pie, that is.
tomorrow i'll put up a picture of my christmas pie.
December 21, 2003
moving right along
there comes a point when you're my age (34) that you figure your life may not turn out the way you thought. (marraige, kids, house w/ picket fence). so you start working toward alternate plan b...which means all of the above in an order optional to your particular preferences. though it makes sense to get the car before the house, and the house before the kids, and marraige somewhere before the kids, we now have the option of bucking society's preferences and doing it all wrong.
i just might do that as i have stable job with probable actual "career" making reappearance after long hibernation during the economic downturn. this morning i found out that i can get prequalified for the amount of house i want ($ amount that is, not SQF being in boston!). might be a good thing to get all that in order & get self some equity before addressing the kids issue...
it's an odd thing to be contemplating buying a house by yourself. one tends to imagine it filled with loving family. but then there is the point where you want an investment and you are TIRED of strangers tramping over your head in a 3-story and banging things at 1:37 a.m. and then of course, you have to plant yourself in one of the most expensive cities in the US where home/condo ownership is NOT cheaper than renting but only about 5 times more expensive and there you are saying hmmm. yes, i too could pay $349K for a condo to have some little dog with pink toenails run around on the floor overhead...or...i could buy a house for the same amount and not have the little dog with pink toenails run around on the floor overhead. see, that's where the house makes sense, no matter who lives there. excepting the little dog with pink toenails.
there comes a point when you're my age (34) that you figure your life may not turn out the way you thought. (marraige, kids, house w/ picket fence). so you start working toward alternate plan b...which means all of the above in an order optional to your particular preferences. though it makes sense to get the car before the house, and the house before the kids, and marraige somewhere before the kids, we now have the option of bucking society's preferences and doing it all wrong.
i just might do that as i have stable job with probable actual "career" making reappearance after long hibernation during the economic downturn. this morning i found out that i can get prequalified for the amount of house i want ($ amount that is, not SQF being in boston!). might be a good thing to get all that in order & get self some equity before addressing the kids issue...
it's an odd thing to be contemplating buying a house by yourself. one tends to imagine it filled with loving family. but then there is the point where you want an investment and you are TIRED of strangers tramping over your head in a 3-story and banging things at 1:37 a.m. and then of course, you have to plant yourself in one of the most expensive cities in the US where home/condo ownership is NOT cheaper than renting but only about 5 times more expensive and there you are saying hmmm. yes, i too could pay $349K for a condo to have some little dog with pink toenails run around on the floor overhead...or...i could buy a house for the same amount and not have the little dog with pink toenails run around on the floor overhead. see, that's where the house makes sense, no matter who lives there. excepting the little dog with pink toenails.
December 16, 2003
won't you not be my friend
whoever thought that men and women can be platonic friends is wrong. women can perhaps. perhaps. men? no. men don't bother unless they want to sleep with you. though they may not do anything of the sort, if you're not good enough for that, you're not good enough to be a friend.
so that means all my guy friends who are straight...have to go. why? because when they get s.o.'s, i will be hated by them & they will be forbidden from associating from me anyhow. so. might as well admit it now & just walk away.
i used to be friends with quite a few guy friends, but for some reason or another, very few remain. and true to my theory, i tend to have/will/might date/d them.
i'm tired of being single. i'm tired of being hated by women. and i'm tired of being dissed by my former guy friends b/c they have no choice. time to date someone. that's my new years resolution!
whoever thought that men and women can be platonic friends is wrong. women can perhaps. perhaps. men? no. men don't bother unless they want to sleep with you. though they may not do anything of the sort, if you're not good enough for that, you're not good enough to be a friend.
so that means all my guy friends who are straight...have to go. why? because when they get s.o.'s, i will be hated by them & they will be forbidden from associating from me anyhow. so. might as well admit it now & just walk away.
i used to be friends with quite a few guy friends, but for some reason or another, very few remain. and true to my theory, i tend to have/will/might date/d them.
i'm tired of being single. i'm tired of being hated by women. and i'm tired of being dissed by my former guy friends b/c they have no choice. time to date someone. that's my new years resolution!