ian coburn, in his awesome book, god is a woman, talks about how women lie to themselves.
damn, do we ever.
i'm on these message boards & some chick worries about her boyfriend cheating overseas. she says to him, are you cheating or something to that effect. his response is unintelligible and it makes no sense. he of course, never says no. in fact, here's his exact response:
"you're not going to cheat on me, so why would I? how come I'm going to cheat and you're absolutely not. Ever?"
read carefully here, he basically admits he's cheating. in case you missed it, he actually says "i'm going to cheat." instead of trusting her gut, she asks all the girls on the board, should she be worried? they rally around her telling her, no, don't worry about it. she says ok, we're gonna be together forever so i need to trust him.
does she stop worrying? no. she lies to herself not only about his possible cheating, but now about the fact that she should care. now we have two lies, supported by all her online friends.
i draft a response saying, yehuh, you should care. what kinda lameass response did he just give you? then i delete it. why? she can't handle the truth.
i did it. i saw other girls do it. we all lie to ourselves to stay with cheaters. we even lie to them. "yes, mr. possible cheater, my boyfriend, my love, i believe you when you said you never lied to me."
(just for the record, am i being bitter and saying all men cheat? NO! in case you missed the topic of this post, rewind to the beginning and start over...)
i dunno why we lie, but we do. why? the alternative is being alone. or that's what we tell ourselves. (yet another lie we tell ourselves, that makes 3, since another guy hotter than the one before always comes along 6.5 months after losing the loser...)
right about now i'll say chalk one up for being alone for the next 5 months until hotter guy shows up.
this bud's for me.
1 comment:
See, I saw that post and those lines and took them to be a "No". In fact, a much better response than a "No" or a "Of course I'm not going to cheat". He was saying "From my point of view, you're in the same situation: Alone in a far away land with potential temptation from every angle. You could cheat on me and get away with it. But you're not concerned that you're going to cheat on me, are you? So, if you know that you're going to be faithful when you're in the same situation that I'm in, why shouldn't you believe that I'll be faithful to you?"
Granted, it came out in a slightly twisted male-logic sentence, but I'm sure that's what he was trying to say. It's saying perfectly innocent things like that which'll get us in trouble, because we have no idea that what we've said can be interpreted in other ways like that.
Oh, and I'd like to answer your question, but you apparently don't allow Member to Member E-Mail, so I can't send a response.
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