dependability 1

i was wondering over the past few days what would happen if i called mr. big in case of an emergency. would he answer? would he be there for me? i realized this is a qualification i have for all the men in my life and somehow he escaped taking this test.

i have never even considered whether or not he would be there for me, probably because i have been too focused on meeting HIS standards.

so i decided to ask him. now this is pretty revolutionary for me. i am really enjoying trying new things though. i mean if he doesn't want to be a dependable man in my life, shouldn't i know this? and if he doesn't want to be there for me, why do i want him around?

i've always considered him a plaything. never taken him very seriously. never even considered that he is a man that takes care of people, why not me.

he has not been responsive to my requests for help in the past (computer stuff) or the lag time has been weeks. but given my new standards - aka that he respond to my communications, i think it is fair to up the ante.

if he is not even a friend, why should i even consider him for more?

funny how long it takes to realize these things...