can you hear me now?

there is this network single people have. our sort of extended family. where we go to be healed & lick our wounds & get validation & have fun & well, play.

it's why you don't burn your bridges. though i told all my guys i was seeing the jerk & couldn't see them "that way" anymore, they were happy to welcome me back with open arms (& legs) when things changed. this isn't just a guy thing. it's a survival thing.

girlfriends come & go. we get start dating, get attached, ignore our gfriends & then need them again when we get dumped yet again. i don't do this, but some girls do. i just helped a friend move tonite who hasn't called me in months. she is very with child & we don't hang anymore. nevertheless, she is my buddy & when in need, i'm there.

my married friends don't understand this. one who wants to divorce her husband after 40 years & has asked him to move out for a while (hoping he'll change) got frightened at night. i asked her why she didn't call me. she said what can you do, you don't live nearby. not at all the point. i told her i was putting her on my girlfriend call list & would check in with her to see how she is. so i have.

you don't really do this with married people. because - they sure don't do it with you. their families & husbands & wives go first (as they should) & single people go last. but since us singletons don't have that commitment - we commit to each other.

loosely.

my friends marvel, and sometimes not in a good way, at my "network" of guys. well, now it's sure coming in handy. after you reach a point with some guys that you stop being all infatuated, they can really become useful friends, with or without benefits. i just texted mr. NY yesterday saying that i hoped when he moved to town he wouldn't get a gf too fast, wink. he said he always got something but he preferred to think of them as friends.

in lieu of better options, that works for me.