it's not over until...

well i decided to hook up with mr. NY again. he's single again & i'm still that way so WTH.

seeing new guy tonite. not so sure about things but we'll see. (something happened with him that was wierd, but i won't go into it...) i just don't want to give up something & i'll have to with any guy. urrgh.

plus when i see mr. NY again i think gee, why do i need to change anything?

i swear when we get together it's like a fricken movie. yeah, for sure. and i feel so young & sexy.

but that's not all there is to life. problem is, i want that badly. that young sexy feeling. apparently i want it more than other things, so i give them up to keep that around. i'm not so sure i like that choice...

in other news, client meeting today that i'm suiting up for. oddly enough, work is very fulfilling. i do want more though. i mean gee, really. i wish (for the millionth time) i were a guy. then i COULD have work & kids cuz i'd have a built-in babysitter.

dammit. why did god make me a woman? i'm so pissed at that right now. ok, him.

he's not doing very well by me lately. what is up with that? i just think i got shortchanged by god when i was supposed to get favored cuz my dad is a preacher.

not.