today's post:
help wanted:
smart, blond, swf with perfect driving record and with love of LA freeways seeks cute, dependable swm driver with love of boston freeways. driver must be able to pick the lane least taken on a consistent basis while not killing off passengers. swf willing to rub shoulders, feed driver (with fresh home-baked bread mmmmm), pick music, control air conditioner, talk on cell phone, operate windows, read maps, stop and ask for directions, pay for tolls, and buy coffee for said driver.
;) hee hee.
August 24, 2003
August 21, 2003
today's post: get married already
the world discriminates against unmarried women. no really. it does.
men love to flirt with them in the real world but in business they will deny them promotions, packages, jobs and other benefits just based on their marital status. (i have a friend in dallas with this problem.)
women love to hate them because their men love to flirt with them. then they like to look down on them because they think we haven't been "chosen" yet. and they like to flaunt their men like new clothes. all forgetting we might have "not chosen" to be with people we didn't think would make us happy over the long haul. (i could have gotten married at least once already, perhaps moreif i'd wanted to. but clearly -- i didn't.)
so clearly, everyone dislikes single women. it's a pretty strong message: get married already. for those of us who have passed it up so far, sometimes life pretty much sucks. there's this undercurrent sucking you in and lashing out at you. very hard to avoid and harder to ignore.
maybe i should become a single man instead...
the world discriminates against unmarried women. no really. it does.
men love to flirt with them in the real world but in business they will deny them promotions, packages, jobs and other benefits just based on their marital status. (i have a friend in dallas with this problem.)
women love to hate them because their men love to flirt with them. then they like to look down on them because they think we haven't been "chosen" yet. and they like to flaunt their men like new clothes. all forgetting we might have "not chosen" to be with people we didn't think would make us happy over the long haul. (i could have gotten married at least once already, perhaps moreif i'd wanted to. but clearly -- i didn't.)
so clearly, everyone dislikes single women. it's a pretty strong message: get married already. for those of us who have passed it up so far, sometimes life pretty much sucks. there's this undercurrent sucking you in and lashing out at you. very hard to avoid and harder to ignore.
maybe i should become a single man instead...
August 14, 2003
today's post: exes
no matter how much you try to get along with people, there are those people you just can't get along with. exes definitely fall into this category. somehow, if you interact, once you start hurting each other or getting hurt, it just doesn't seem to stop. no matter how hard you try. which is no doubt why you're exes in the first place.
i guess sometimes one just has to throw in the towel and crawl under a rock. or one could take the towel with them under the rock to wipe off the sweat. but sometimes you just have to say: i give up.
you hurt me once. you keep doing it. i hurt you back. let's stop.
but then you look at them & they look at you & you both say to yourselves, damn, you're so hot. and somewhere the towel and the rock have to keep each other company without you...
no matter how much you try to get along with people, there are those people you just can't get along with. exes definitely fall into this category. somehow, if you interact, once you start hurting each other or getting hurt, it just doesn't seem to stop. no matter how hard you try. which is no doubt why you're exes in the first place.
i guess sometimes one just has to throw in the towel and crawl under a rock. or one could take the towel with them under the rock to wipe off the sweat. but sometimes you just have to say: i give up.
you hurt me once. you keep doing it. i hurt you back. let's stop.
but then you look at them & they look at you & you both say to yourselves, damn, you're so hot. and somewhere the towel and the rock have to keep each other company without you...
August 04, 2003
today's post: nothing
short of dating yourself, the only better thing is to have a great date with another person. and oddly enough, while i always have something to write about my bad dates, i have nothing to say about the really good ones. (that's why this, what i'm saying right now, is appropriately titled "nothing")
now why is that? well, perhaps because being happy is just so much less interesting to read and write about than being annoyed. i can't come up with pithy one-liners, be punchy or sarcastic, or state random but commonly-held assumptions and tout them as fact.
then there's the possibility of jinxing good things by talking about them, similar to my familiar jinx of my relationships by framing pictures of us. (wanna kill your relationship fast? put a little piece of wood around a photo of you, or one of you and him. and bingo, the jealous relationship gods will decree that the TIME has come.)
there's also the sort of internal awe that one experiences when there is a lack of conflict and abundance of common interests. it's sort of a hmmm, what is this thing called compatibility?
darned if i know. better that i don't. i'd likely wreck it.
short of dating yourself, the only better thing is to have a great date with another person. and oddly enough, while i always have something to write about my bad dates, i have nothing to say about the really good ones. (that's why this, what i'm saying right now, is appropriately titled "nothing")
now why is that? well, perhaps because being happy is just so much less interesting to read and write about than being annoyed. i can't come up with pithy one-liners, be punchy or sarcastic, or state random but commonly-held assumptions and tout them as fact.
then there's the possibility of jinxing good things by talking about them, similar to my familiar jinx of my relationships by framing pictures of us. (wanna kill your relationship fast? put a little piece of wood around a photo of you, or one of you and him. and bingo, the jealous relationship gods will decree that the TIME has come.)
there's also the sort of internal awe that one experiences when there is a lack of conflict and abundance of common interests. it's sort of a hmmm, what is this thing called compatibility?
darned if i know. better that i don't. i'd likely wreck it.
July 30, 2003
today's post: me, myself and i on a date
there are lots of things you can do alone when you're single. right. yes you know this. but did you know one of the funnest is to take yourself out for a date? i call it supplementary dating. sounds like a diet pill. but it's more fun. and less dangerous. usually. unless you're wacky like me. (last year when i took myself out for a movie, i once tried to pick up a date at the theatre. ha. that was a trip. he was nice though...said he was meeting someone afterward but i could sit there if i wanted to. nah. my seat was way better. but it was fun. i walked away saying to self, girl, you rock. you got no fear ;)
so today i was less adventurous but had way more fun. i...took myself out to see the exhibit in the state house titled "where in the world is boston from?"
you know when you've been wanting to do something like for AEONS of time? i've been wanting to see this exhibit for like over a year now. so i got up off my cute little ass & JUST DID IT.
it was great. you wouldn't believe. there's a big wow about doing something you've been wanting to do. i walked into the exhibit and i kid you not, took a deep breath and smiled and was just like CHECK, i'm here! (the last CHECK off my list was STOMP last weekend. that was about a 6 year wait time. yeah, sometimes my friends just don't like the things I like!!)
there are some really cool things about dating yourself! you're never late for your dates, you always wear the right thing, you don't answer the cell phone in the middle of a conversation with yourself, you don't have to worry who is going to pick up the check, and you don't have to ever compromise on anything! i rock! yes, i do.
and by the way, the exhibit was really good too...
there are lots of things you can do alone when you're single. right. yes you know this. but did you know one of the funnest is to take yourself out for a date? i call it supplementary dating. sounds like a diet pill. but it's more fun. and less dangerous. usually. unless you're wacky like me. (last year when i took myself out for a movie, i once tried to pick up a date at the theatre. ha. that was a trip. he was nice though...said he was meeting someone afterward but i could sit there if i wanted to. nah. my seat was way better. but it was fun. i walked away saying to self, girl, you rock. you got no fear ;)
so today i was less adventurous but had way more fun. i...took myself out to see the exhibit in the state house titled "where in the world is boston from?"
you know when you've been wanting to do something like for AEONS of time? i've been wanting to see this exhibit for like over a year now. so i got up off my cute little ass & JUST DID IT.
it was great. you wouldn't believe. there's a big wow about doing something you've been wanting to do. i walked into the exhibit and i kid you not, took a deep breath and smiled and was just like CHECK, i'm here! (the last CHECK off my list was STOMP last weekend. that was about a 6 year wait time. yeah, sometimes my friends just don't like the things I like!!)
there are some really cool things about dating yourself! you're never late for your dates, you always wear the right thing, you don't answer the cell phone in the middle of a conversation with yourself, you don't have to worry who is going to pick up the check, and you don't have to ever compromise on anything! i rock! yes, i do.
and by the way, the exhibit was really good too...
July 28, 2003
today's topic: feet
so let's talk about guys feet. guys have great feet. i guess. some women like to look at their feet. you know why. i don't. i don't really care. feet are feet. do they work? great. can you walk? good. can you carry me? ah, even better.
so why oh why to men like to do this...
see pretty girl. like girl. try to impress girl. spend lots of money on girl. put best foot forward. pull out ak47. shoot self in foot.
boys boys. do you never learn. the idea on the first 2 or 3 dates is to impress the girl, to get her if you can, then decide if you want her. (yeah, we know that's how it works.) but what's wrong with you that you have to lose her to your own stupidity?
oh well, thinks she, thank god he shot himself in the foot now instead of pulling off the i'm-the-greatest-guy-since-hercules stunt -- i can move on to bigger and better things. at least bigger...
yes, it's a good thing you're an idiot now rather than later. but we'll never get why you waste all the time, money and effort doing it. we'd never do that. we'd rather hit the sale rack instead. speaking of which, i'm on my way over there now.
so let's talk about guys feet. guys have great feet. i guess. some women like to look at their feet. you know why. i don't. i don't really care. feet are feet. do they work? great. can you walk? good. can you carry me? ah, even better.
so why oh why to men like to do this...
see pretty girl. like girl. try to impress girl. spend lots of money on girl. put best foot forward. pull out ak47. shoot self in foot.
boys boys. do you never learn. the idea on the first 2 or 3 dates is to impress the girl, to get her if you can, then decide if you want her. (yeah, we know that's how it works.) but what's wrong with you that you have to lose her to your own stupidity?
oh well, thinks she, thank god he shot himself in the foot now instead of pulling off the i'm-the-greatest-guy-since-hercules stunt -- i can move on to bigger and better things. at least bigger...
yes, it's a good thing you're an idiot now rather than later. but we'll never get why you waste all the time, money and effort doing it. we'd never do that. we'd rather hit the sale rack instead. speaking of which, i'm on my way over there now.
July 26, 2003
today's topic: the second best thing about being single.
well, there are lots of cool things about being single. outside of being able to be totally independent if you want, being able to date different people is definitely right up there with awesome.
it's really cool to be able to get close to and interact with different people. to try them on for size & think, how would they fit? to have a sat. night date to look forward to. especially if it's an activity you've been meaning to do for 6 years & have never done! (STOMP!)
dating is like a steady diet of icecream. it's a very rich life. of course...which also gets tiring, but every lifestyle does. at least mine gets tiring with a different view. often very good looking views! ;)
well, there are lots of cool things about being single. outside of being able to be totally independent if you want, being able to date different people is definitely right up there with awesome.
it's really cool to be able to get close to and interact with different people. to try them on for size & think, how would they fit? to have a sat. night date to look forward to. especially if it's an activity you've been meaning to do for 6 years & have never done! (STOMP!)
dating is like a steady diet of icecream. it's a very rich life. of course...which also gets tiring, but every lifestyle does. at least mine gets tiring with a different view. often very good looking views! ;)
July 25, 2003
tonite's topic: the best thing about being single
wow, sometimes it just rocks to be single, have no kids & no particular responsibilities. the best part about being single is being able to do whatever the hell you want. and not ask anyone's permission or tell them.
today i meandered on my way home from the gym. i wandered thru the tourists at faniuel hall, listened to some great music by a cute guy & his dad, talked to the neighbors on the way home, watched the boys play baseball with mini-bats & generally had a wonderful lazy time.
i thought to self: self, this is really beautiful.
love it.
wow, sometimes it just rocks to be single, have no kids & no particular responsibilities. the best part about being single is being able to do whatever the hell you want. and not ask anyone's permission or tell them.
today i meandered on my way home from the gym. i wandered thru the tourists at faniuel hall, listened to some great music by a cute guy & his dad, talked to the neighbors on the way home, watched the boys play baseball with mini-bats & generally had a wonderful lazy time.
i thought to self: self, this is really beautiful.
love it.
today's topic: spontaneous combustion: the death of a date.
i don't really have too much to say about this topic, but what i have to say is very emphatic.
there's nothing that makes a girl feel less wanted than spontaneous dates. notice i ended dates with an s, because sometimes spontaneity is a blast. when you know the person well, it's lots of fun. until then or as an exclusive method of dating: it's an insult.
my advice? if you can't even commit to a date with a us, don't waste our time. you know what else we think you won't be able to commit to: ANYTHING.
to those of you who have learned from your mistakes (such as my wednesday date) and actually want to start planning ahead, cool. i won't hold my breath, but it's definitely a start -- i now feel halfway important. you can finish up the other half on the date. if you do show up. ;)
i don't really have too much to say about this topic, but what i have to say is very emphatic.
there's nothing that makes a girl feel less wanted than spontaneous dates. notice i ended dates with an s, because sometimes spontaneity is a blast. when you know the person well, it's lots of fun. until then or as an exclusive method of dating: it's an insult.
my advice? if you can't even commit to a date with a us, don't waste our time. you know what else we think you won't be able to commit to: ANYTHING.
to those of you who have learned from your mistakes (such as my wednesday date) and actually want to start planning ahead, cool. i won't hold my breath, but it's definitely a start -- i now feel halfway important. you can finish up the other half on the date. if you do show up. ;)
July 21, 2003
July 20, 2003
today's topic: men of action.
gotta love a guy with a plan. the only better thing than a guy with a plan is a guy who knows how to pull it off. do ya know what ya want? do ya know how to get it? great. we're impressed.
there's nothing more frustrating than someone who's not sure what he wants. there's nothing worse than playing the daisies game. especially if you count badly like i do and start on the wrong phrase for the number of petals you have.
the reason is.....we're not sure what we want either. but we're supposed to be unsure. we're supposed to see what YOU do & then decide what we think about it.
so boys, get your thing goin on & even if you change your mind later, at least we got a chance to see what's up. at least you made a move. even if you didn't pass go and collect $200, at least you aren't stuck in free parking the whole game.
gotta love a guy with a plan. the only better thing than a guy with a plan is a guy who knows how to pull it off. do ya know what ya want? do ya know how to get it? great. we're impressed.
there's nothing more frustrating than someone who's not sure what he wants. there's nothing worse than playing the daisies game. especially if you count badly like i do and start on the wrong phrase for the number of petals you have.
the reason is.....we're not sure what we want either. but we're supposed to be unsure. we're supposed to see what YOU do & then decide what we think about it.
so boys, get your thing goin on & even if you change your mind later, at least we got a chance to see what's up. at least you made a move. even if you didn't pass go and collect $200, at least you aren't stuck in free parking the whole game.