i want you to want me, i need you to need me...

ego is a big thing in relationships. it's hard to walk away from someone who feeds your ego, especially if you're an ego-driven person. and who isn't.

therefore, if you decide a relationship is not for you, and your ego tells you it is, you play this tug of war. expressed so well by this song that i love, the theme song from 10 things i hate about you.

even if you haven't yet ID'd 10 things you hate about somebody (sometimes 1 is all it takes) letting them go "back to themselves" is difficult.

ego is why we keep around ex-boyfriends & call them up every once in a while to see if they are still in love with us. ooops. it's why our exes indulge us.

and i think, the only way to conquer this ego is to - admit it. and, gulp, stop using our past-boys as toys.

and the only way to avoid being used for someone's ego is to - rise above them. be apathetic, be friendly. be who are you again? that way when they seek you out to meet their ego needs, they either drop you from the list or realize they have to work for that ego boost.

since people want what they can't have (in this case, for you to want them), it draws them back in. it renews the challenge. now you're back on display on the "new" shelf where other guys want to bid on you & no longer in the "used" section of the store. and your value has exponentially increased. & therefore, the value to their ego much higher than before.

my new mantra: no more discounts on ego massages.

you want me to feed your ego?

pay the price.

that is, IF you can afford it...