enigma variations

my friend jack (mr. jack is back, or not just jack as i like to call him) told me recently that i talk about relationships a lot. that pissed me off so i didn't talk to him for a while.

he's right though. i do! and today i finally realized why.

men are an enigma to me. relationships. it's like this big mystery i'm working on, like theory of relativity. in fact, it's my own TOR! it's all relative - to something, lol.

i also realized, walking down the street today in the sun, yea!!!! that i spend a LOT of thought, time & emotional energy thinking about what people 1) have done, 2) are doing, and 3) will do in the future. what if i spent all that time thinking about --- something else!

what a thought. wow. revolutioninzing. or whatever that word is.

what would i think about if i didn't do that?

it's so pointless though really. now that i am no longer (generally) afraid (though i might still get that way specifically...) there is no need to try to prepare for every eventuality. in fact - people themselves don't know what they are going to do in the future! so why spend time trying to figure it out?

ah. freedom. deep cleansing breaths. relief.

the battle of the sexes is over. we can both win. and in the meantime - i can just sip coffee & put my feet up & enjoy life.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.