whistlin' dixie
yesterday i walked out into the hallway & this guy was coming out of the bathroom. whistling. and as i walked by, in the middle of his tune he did the oh-so-familiar wheee---wheeeoooooooo. i was smiling to myself but i didn't want to encourage such improper behavior, so i didn't turn around. when he noticed i didn't do anything, he then began to try with limited success to incorporate that phrase into his already lame concerto, turning his tune into a Theme and Variations on a Sexy Whistle.
October 22, 2003
October 21, 2003
swf seeing gswmwlrgjank (good-looking single white male with labrador retriever, good job and no kids)
so today i want to draft a letter to one of my cosmo bachelors. this will be very hard as lots of women will write to them. so i want my letter to stand out, yet be appealing in a cute but intelligent way. here goes.
"hi. i think you're very cute."
duh. ya think.
"Hello _____, I am a SWF living in Boston who likes the Red Sox"
no. can't do that. he'll feel sorry for me.
"Hello _____, I live in Boston, land of baked beans."
hell no! air freshener please.
"Hi ____, I saw your picture in Cosmo."
...which is why this e-mail was set up.
this is harder than it looks!
"Hi ______, I've been reading Cosmo for 10 years..."
...and i'm as old as your mother and i have no life.
"Hi ______, my name is ______."
name doesn't matter. only my picture matters.
"Hi _____, I've attached my picture for my review. Check it out and see if you're interested in talking to me. If you are, please read on..."
...my salary requirements are.
HOW IN GOD's GREEN EARTH DO GUYS WRITE TO GIRLS? Damn, this is hard. thank goodness i'm a woman.
i'll have to think about this some more. what good text goes with my face?
ahh!!
"Hi ________, I'm a _______ (description goes here) who loves nature, traveling, any sport that involves water, and ______ (music). The reason I wrote to you is because I liked your frog-catching. My favorite memories of growing up were exploring all the fields and streams with my black pony and white dog, hatching caterpillars into monarchs, building treehouses, and finding garter snakes. Now I live in the city and wear garter hose. No I'm kidding. But someday soon I plan to a place in the country again where I can swim in the pond and squish my toes in the mud every day."
...now let's settle down and have some kids in that place in the country. works for me. ;)
so today i want to draft a letter to one of my cosmo bachelors. this will be very hard as lots of women will write to them. so i want my letter to stand out, yet be appealing in a cute but intelligent way. here goes.
"hi. i think you're very cute."
duh. ya think.
"Hello _____, I am a SWF living in Boston who likes the Red Sox"
no. can't do that. he'll feel sorry for me.
"Hello _____, I live in Boston, land of baked beans."
hell no! air freshener please.
"Hi ____, I saw your picture in Cosmo."
...which is why this e-mail was set up.
this is harder than it looks!
"Hi ______, I've been reading Cosmo for 10 years..."
...and i'm as old as your mother and i have no life.
"Hi ______, my name is ______."
name doesn't matter. only my picture matters.
"Hi _____, I've attached my picture for my review. Check it out and see if you're interested in talking to me. If you are, please read on..."
...my salary requirements are.
HOW IN GOD's GREEN EARTH DO GUYS WRITE TO GIRLS? Damn, this is hard. thank goodness i'm a woman.
i'll have to think about this some more. what good text goes with my face?
ahh!!
"Hi ________, I'm a _______ (description goes here) who loves nature, traveling, any sport that involves water, and ______ (music). The reason I wrote to you is because I liked your frog-catching. My favorite memories of growing up were exploring all the fields and streams with my black pony and white dog, hatching caterpillars into monarchs, building treehouses, and finding garter snakes. Now I live in the city and wear garter hose. No I'm kidding. But someday soon I plan to a place in the country again where I can swim in the pond and squish my toes in the mud every day."
...now let's settle down and have some kids in that place in the country. works for me. ;)
here i don't come to save the day
a brave prince from down under has arrived as i'd dreamed and hoped. while i've been pouting in my little imaginary castle, dreaming of handsome good-looking warriors who'd spirit me away and save me from the evil one-eyed-one-legged-one-armed-one-headed dragon, he has fought off scores of imaginary dragons, plunged into the abyss of the unknown, braved the firewalls and...sent me an e-mail!
[dramatic pause for effect]
but, alas! i am still here in my castle. something must be wrong with my fantasy. i'll have to check & see where it broke...
a brave prince from down under has arrived as i'd dreamed and hoped. while i've been pouting in my little imaginary castle, dreaming of handsome good-looking warriors who'd spirit me away and save me from the evil one-eyed-one-legged-one-armed-one-headed dragon, he has fought off scores of imaginary dragons, plunged into the abyss of the unknown, braved the firewalls and...sent me an e-mail!
[dramatic pause for effect]
but, alas! i am still here in my castle. something must be wrong with my fantasy. i'll have to check & see where it broke...
October 16, 2003
i'll take a whole ba(t)ch of those right over there...
one of the best things about being single is that...
i can write to any of the bachelors featured in this month's cosmo! and being the smartish sort of good-looking blond i am, i have a decent chance of them writing me back.
hmmm. who will i write to? how about mr. west virginia, mr. alabama, mr. wisconsin, mr. arkansas. that'll do for starters.
damn, sometimes life is sweet.
now, what do i say to them...?
one of the best things about being single is that...
i can write to any of the bachelors featured in this month's cosmo! and being the smartish sort of good-looking blond i am, i have a decent chance of them writing me back.
hmmm. who will i write to? how about mr. west virginia, mr. alabama, mr. wisconsin, mr. arkansas. that'll do for starters.
damn, sometimes life is sweet.
now, what do i say to them...?
October 15, 2003
ignorance is bliss
so i'm a bright one. i make this site about being single and then can't write about my dates because of course, they either know i keep a website or they can find out by looking up my name online.
that said, who really cares about the actual dates i'm having anyhow? isn't the whole point to portray how it IS to be single (and unfortunately, only when i feel like writing, not when i feel good and happy and not-like-writing)?
anyhow, happily, dating is a part of life, but not the whole.
...life is bigger, bigger than you, and you are not me...
so i'm a bright one. i make this site about being single and then can't write about my dates because of course, they either know i keep a website or they can find out by looking up my name online.
that said, who really cares about the actual dates i'm having anyhow? isn't the whole point to portray how it IS to be single (and unfortunately, only when i feel like writing, not when i feel good and happy and not-like-writing)?
anyhow, happily, dating is a part of life, but not the whole.
...life is bigger, bigger than you, and you are not me...
October 11, 2003
lonely in paradise
sometimes, in fact quite often, it's very lonely being single. you pretend to yourself that if you weren't single you wouldn't be lonely. which you then remember is a lot of b.s. because your mind then polls all your past relationships and flags those where you where indeed lonely, trying to convince you things are fine the way they are.
well, if it's fine the way it is, why do we human's have this lonely/relationship itch that we just have to scratch? apparently we're NOT supposed to feel alone. at least more than x% of the time, whatever value x has to each of us individually. as though there is this warning that goes off and says "Attention: You are feeling lonely. Please do something about it." much like the door lady in the car, though not with "The door is a jar? No kidding. Does Toyota know this?" pun to think to yourself.
independent people also tend to be more lonely i think because we tend to have a greater resistance to listening to our Attention warnings. Yesterday is a prime example.
where i work we have free passes to the acquarium, and yesterday our company went over at lunch. i was happy because i'd been wanting to go for a while, but not by myself. what happened? i ended up walking around by myself! i just didn't seem to fit in with any of the groups and i have a greater need to absorb information at my own pace than i do to stick with a group. so at one point i was wiping a tear from my eye and saying to myself, i waited all this time to see these things with people and here i am alone watching the penguins! so i promptly found a group to look at things with and stuck with them until i felt annoyed enough to go off on my own again.
finally i decided to end my predicament by hanging out with our cute resident bachelor who was also looking around alone. that turned out quite well. we watched myrtle the turtle together.
who, incidentally, also seems to live alone.
sometimes, in fact quite often, it's very lonely being single. you pretend to yourself that if you weren't single you wouldn't be lonely. which you then remember is a lot of b.s. because your mind then polls all your past relationships and flags those where you where indeed lonely, trying to convince you things are fine the way they are.
well, if it's fine the way it is, why do we human's have this lonely/relationship itch that we just have to scratch? apparently we're NOT supposed to feel alone. at least more than x% of the time, whatever value x has to each of us individually. as though there is this warning that goes off and says "Attention: You are feeling lonely. Please do something about it." much like the door lady in the car, though not with "The door is a jar? No kidding. Does Toyota know this?" pun to think to yourself.
independent people also tend to be more lonely i think because we tend to have a greater resistance to listening to our Attention warnings. Yesterday is a prime example.
where i work we have free passes to the acquarium, and yesterday our company went over at lunch. i was happy because i'd been wanting to go for a while, but not by myself. what happened? i ended up walking around by myself! i just didn't seem to fit in with any of the groups and i have a greater need to absorb information at my own pace than i do to stick with a group. so at one point i was wiping a tear from my eye and saying to myself, i waited all this time to see these things with people and here i am alone watching the penguins! so i promptly found a group to look at things with and stuck with them until i felt annoyed enough to go off on my own again.
finally i decided to end my predicament by hanging out with our cute resident bachelor who was also looking around alone. that turned out quite well. we watched myrtle the turtle together.
who, incidentally, also seems to live alone.
October 10, 2003
today's post: sexy
there are times when you want to smack guys on the street for acting like construction workers. and i don't mean in a kissy-kissy way. then there are other times when you do mean in a kissy-kissy way...(if you don't believe this is true, check out the latest issue of cosmo or glamour or something like that where a mother pushing a stroller misses the whistles that used to annoy her so much).
this morning i wore my new hot (i.e. low cut, tight, flare, pinstripe) jeans to work as i was coordinator for lee denim day at my office. and damn, i looked good. but the metro guy at the t-stop really made me feel it. when i walked by he said, damn, great pants. i said "THANK you! :)" he said "they're really sexy." i said TY at least 2 more times. cuz ya know what? he was right, damn it! and good for him for telling things like they are. i felt great all day.
now, for those of you moralistic women who aren't reading this but would yell at me for encouraging such behavior, let me just point out for the record: he was only stating the obvious. ;) and he didn't use the word sexy until he heard i liked the first part. in any case, this is a moment when it's great to be single. i ain't got no man to worry about me taking that compliment for all it's worth. sweet.
now, for those women i was also talking about, if he'd said that on a day when i DIDN'T have great pants on, then he should be smacked for sure.
boys, there is a diff. and we know it. when we look hot & you tell us, that's cool. when we don't & you tell us, you sound like the idiot in the north end the other saturday night who said "you look really pretty. can i have a dollar?" ain't none of that gonna get a lady anything but pissed off.
there are times when you want to smack guys on the street for acting like construction workers. and i don't mean in a kissy-kissy way. then there are other times when you do mean in a kissy-kissy way...(if you don't believe this is true, check out the latest issue of cosmo or glamour or something like that where a mother pushing a stroller misses the whistles that used to annoy her so much).
this morning i wore my new hot (i.e. low cut, tight, flare, pinstripe) jeans to work as i was coordinator for lee denim day at my office. and damn, i looked good. but the metro guy at the t-stop really made me feel it. when i walked by he said, damn, great pants. i said "THANK you! :)" he said "they're really sexy." i said TY at least 2 more times. cuz ya know what? he was right, damn it! and good for him for telling things like they are. i felt great all day.
now, for those of you moralistic women who aren't reading this but would yell at me for encouraging such behavior, let me just point out for the record: he was only stating the obvious. ;) and he didn't use the word sexy until he heard i liked the first part. in any case, this is a moment when it's great to be single. i ain't got no man to worry about me taking that compliment for all it's worth. sweet.
now, for those women i was also talking about, if he'd said that on a day when i DIDN'T have great pants on, then he should be smacked for sure.
boys, there is a diff. and we know it. when we look hot & you tell us, that's cool. when we don't & you tell us, you sound like the idiot in the north end the other saturday night who said "you look really pretty. can i have a dollar?" ain't none of that gonna get a lady anything but pissed off.
October 05, 2003
today's post: why can't a woman be more like a man?
so i'm reading this book today. and it is telling us women how to get along with men. which, that fact in itself, i won't comment on. but the book goes into really basic things. i mean embarrassingly basic things that women either a) don't know or b) don't do. such as be yourself. don't give up your life for a man when he comes along (because when he goes along, then where will you be? oh, and when he's there, where will you be when he's out with his boys?) and basically telling us not to be gumbies.
wow, i mean where did that come from. how have we been socialized that we have to be told these things? it's really sad. is the patriarchal society that devastating to women that we need training in caring for ourselves first? apparently so.
or is it just our human nature, given that we can have children, to naturally put others first? i've said before that if men had kids, when they were so focused on one thing at a time, they'd lose their kids down the drain. anyhow, whatever it is, for some reason we have to take "be yourself, keep yourself" classes.
what amazes me is that men apparently are socialized to be encouraged to be and keep themselves, while women are socialized to cater to men's desire to do this. ok, what exactly is the problem here? did we grow up seeing our mothers drag themselves out of bed every morning before dad to make breakfast so he'd have a warm one in his tummy? or maybe it was for us. and dad got some too incidentally. whatever it was, who REALLY likes to clank pots and pans around early in the morning before you have even 1 eye open all the way?
so here i am with a masters' degree, trying to figure out how to stay the naturally independent person i am when a man comes along. and i'm getting such mixed messages from society. in my smart little books, i read to be myself. then in the hip and latest in women's magazines, i read how to be the best _____ for him. and stay that say. what good training is that for a committed relationship? how are you supposed to keep up the excitement in a relationship and the challenge that supposedly men want (and i like too) while you're busy being a rug?
i'm so confused.
so i'm reading this book today. and it is telling us women how to get along with men. which, that fact in itself, i won't comment on. but the book goes into really basic things. i mean embarrassingly basic things that women either a) don't know or b) don't do. such as be yourself. don't give up your life for a man when he comes along (because when he goes along, then where will you be? oh, and when he's there, where will you be when he's out with his boys?) and basically telling us not to be gumbies.
wow, i mean where did that come from. how have we been socialized that we have to be told these things? it's really sad. is the patriarchal society that devastating to women that we need training in caring for ourselves first? apparently so.
or is it just our human nature, given that we can have children, to naturally put others first? i've said before that if men had kids, when they were so focused on one thing at a time, they'd lose their kids down the drain. anyhow, whatever it is, for some reason we have to take "be yourself, keep yourself" classes.
what amazes me is that men apparently are socialized to be encouraged to be and keep themselves, while women are socialized to cater to men's desire to do this. ok, what exactly is the problem here? did we grow up seeing our mothers drag themselves out of bed every morning before dad to make breakfast so he'd have a warm one in his tummy? or maybe it was for us. and dad got some too incidentally. whatever it was, who REALLY likes to clank pots and pans around early in the morning before you have even 1 eye open all the way?
so here i am with a masters' degree, trying to figure out how to stay the naturally independent person i am when a man comes along. and i'm getting such mixed messages from society. in my smart little books, i read to be myself. then in the hip and latest in women's magazines, i read how to be the best _____ for him. and stay that say. what good training is that for a committed relationship? how are you supposed to keep up the excitement in a relationship and the challenge that supposedly men want (and i like too) while you're busy being a rug?
i'm so confused.
October 04, 2003
today's post: redesign
so how do you like the new site? a friend made my logo & i've linked up to a few other sites who also share my singleness.
i've also signed up with yahoo! personals affiliate site since i've done all my online dating thru them for the past year or so. (when i am on live on the site, i am of course, known as seeingsingle...)
so how do you like the new site? a friend made my logo & i've linked up to a few other sites who also share my singleness.
i've also signed up with yahoo! personals affiliate site since i've done all my online dating thru them for the past year or so. (when i am on live on the site, i am of course, known as seeingsingle...)
October 03, 2003
today's third post: blue
bloggie, i'm tired of going places by myself and bopping around the city at night alone to meet friends. am pouting. will just stay home. v. depressing. now have excuse to eat whatever i want (coming right up), buy clothes (ooops i already did that), and generally be a hermitess (beginning now).
will invoke my right to use my favorite fairytale: where the hero comes and finds me IN my castle instead of me having to go out on my own all the time to meet HIM. my fantasy will last for a full 24 minutes before i acknowledge what bs it is, but by then i will be eating some warm and cozy something and have my toes wiggling in my sheets watching my favorite tv show and reading all about something i find intensely interesting and when my fantasy has expired i won't even notice.
bloggie, i'm tired of going places by myself and bopping around the city at night alone to meet friends. am pouting. will just stay home. v. depressing. now have excuse to eat whatever i want (coming right up), buy clothes (ooops i already did that), and generally be a hermitess (beginning now).
will invoke my right to use my favorite fairytale: where the hero comes and finds me IN my castle instead of me having to go out on my own all the time to meet HIM. my fantasy will last for a full 24 minutes before i acknowledge what bs it is, but by then i will be eating some warm and cozy something and have my toes wiggling in my sheets watching my favorite tv show and reading all about something i find intensely interesting and when my fantasy has expired i won't even notice.
today's other post: throw me a funnybone
funny is as funny gets.
i love guys with a good sense of humor. i have a friend (who is hilarious) who says that if you can make a woman laugh it's easier to get her into bed. boys, he's right. not, of course, that i've said, you're so funny, let's go make out. but in my head, you scored big, boy, if you can make me laugh. and not just politely either. and now that we're talking score, your sense of humor can be used to offset some other annoyances that we may encounter in your character. oh dear. this sounds like i'm keeping score. i'm not really, it's just well, that i rate humor very highly.
and it's not like we girls say, he's really funny (meaning he's ugly). it's not the equivalent of the "nice personality" for a girl. it's much much cooler. i mean we women aren't as turned on by how great your body is like you are about ours -- even though we might love how you look -- but a good laugh? can't beat that, sorry, even with all your gorgeous muscles. unless of course those great pecs are being used to be a hero and save us from harm. that still makes our hearts a little happier but we're not going to throw ourselves in front of a car just so you can save us. just make us laugh, it will have the same effect and be a bit easier on your back as well...
p.s. besides it's free! how can you pass that up.
funny is as funny gets.
i love guys with a good sense of humor. i have a friend (who is hilarious) who says that if you can make a woman laugh it's easier to get her into bed. boys, he's right. not, of course, that i've said, you're so funny, let's go make out. but in my head, you scored big, boy, if you can make me laugh. and not just politely either. and now that we're talking score, your sense of humor can be used to offset some other annoyances that we may encounter in your character. oh dear. this sounds like i'm keeping score. i'm not really, it's just well, that i rate humor very highly.
and it's not like we girls say, he's really funny (meaning he's ugly). it's not the equivalent of the "nice personality" for a girl. it's much much cooler. i mean we women aren't as turned on by how great your body is like you are about ours -- even though we might love how you look -- but a good laugh? can't beat that, sorry, even with all your gorgeous muscles. unless of course those great pecs are being used to be a hero and save us from harm. that still makes our hearts a little happier but we're not going to throw ourselves in front of a car just so you can save us. just make us laugh, it will have the same effect and be a bit easier on your back as well...
p.s. besides it's free! how can you pass that up.