change

well this weekend was interesting.

i confronted four guys in my life about how their [unreliable, non-responsive] behavior upset me. one of them i yelled at in person. three of them i yelled at online.

none of them wants to stop our friendship. in fact the guy i yelled at in person said, and i quote, "i don't want to let you go."

now this is interesting. i thought their behavior meant they weren't interested. but they have stated they never meant to hurt me and most of them apologized. the one i care the most about, mr. big, not only didn't leave, he agreed that he would like to try interacting with me more [the responsive part] in lieu of losing me altogher.

i realized i need to state clearly what i need from them. in a nice way. so i will do that. i n3ed to say - i'd like to have you in my life. but in order for us to relate without conflict, i need you to be [reliable, responsive] in all your interactions with me.

what is surprising is that all these guys respected my boundaries. and they wanted to please me. whether i was yelling online or in person - they got my message.

i don't know if their behavior will change but i expect it will. if it is true they never meant to offend, they will try to stop doing so.

what's frustrating is that i have put up with unreliable/unresponsive behavior from guys for years. i mean i've known some of these guys for more than 15 years. and i never called them on it before. now, today, in november 2008, i am setting the bar.

but then talk is cheap. we'll see who actually jumps over...