moment of truth?

well, i've come back around to that spot i keep hitting with my cap.

he doesn't respond to my uh, hints, to meet up for, a day or so. then i get upset. and he gets annoyed that i get upset.

he responded to my upset e-mails by calling and asking what i want from him. (in a nice way, not justlikethat.)

i didn't have an answer. i don't think there is anything we can work out that is good for both of us. for starters, i said, i was hoping to find out if we can get along. well, said he, yeah, but that isn't looking good right now.

he kept asking me like how many times what i wanted from him, & finally i said i wanted more from him than just friends. my guess is he just wanted to hear it.

he actually sounded happy about that. & said we could talk more about it later on in the week.

so here we go again. maybe. through this cycle. i don't think there is any solution. but i'm curious at what will happen if we talk through it.

i don't even know what to say anymore. i just adore this guy. but he's not going to get into a relationship that would satisfy me. so i guess maybe i should just ask him back, so putting aside what i want for a minute, what is available to me?

my guess is, nothing. but interestingly enough, he has come back around again & is suggesting we have this conversation AGAIN. and seems happy to have it.

what it will bring, i don't know. i'm not going to give up anyone else i am dating, but if we could even get along, hmmm. it would be nice.

in my fantasies, we have a great relationship. i just don't see how to translate that to reality...and i've never dated someone so distant before, who hasn't even HAD a conversation like this with a woman. meaning, no woman has even asked him why he waits a day to respond to messages to him.

i am the first.