chasing my tail

i feel like i keep going around in circles. my posts are all the same.

i like this guy.
no i don't.
i am leaving.
wait.
i miss him.
um, [dials the phone]
he comes back.
wait.
he is dating someone else.
i'm not hearing from him.
i miss him.
um [dials the phone]
he comes back.

rinse.
repeat.

now the question is, why is this happening & should i try to stop it? my friends tell me to get counseling but i had 3 counselors over the past few years & they all depressed the he** out of ME. i didn't get anywhere. maybe somewhere but gees. once someone starts blaming my religion for my issues, we have a problem.

news flash. i am not in a cult. therefore, it is not my religion that is the problem.

back to the topic.

i keep going in circles for a reason. because i can't stand to lose people i really like. so i try everything i can to make things work, but i change my mind all the time so the guys are like WTH? but still, they know i like them and they like me, so we keep trying to make something work. even friendship.

i called my father on father's day. i didn't enjoy the call. but i did my duty. the root cause of my problems with men, it's like drinking at the spring of poison. but it is also trying to forgive and move on. i am responsible for my decisions, he is not. so taking responsibility also means - doing just that. so i am grown up.

and sad.

what do you do. i guess in my case, call up one of my guys and keep chasing my tail. at least, i have a beautiful and tasty tail.

some would call that a nice a**.

:)