just amazing

today i met up with mr. NY again. of course he is now living here in boston, with a GF if you forget my tortuously long history with him.

i haven't seen him since he moved here because, to my relief, he is not a cheater. so he has avoided seeing me. i therefore was not a bit surprised that when he finally wanted to meet up months later he is thinking of ending things with her.

i just like him so much but realize there isn't really intellectual compatibility. so i have that with mr. meetup. but just can't stand the annoying controlling thing.

it seems i will give up compatibility for liking someone. not that it matters. it's not like mr. NY will want to start dating me anyway. he is younger and here i am going kid-crazy. or lack of kid-crazy.

but there is something about just really liking someone and seeing them again that is so happy.

along that line, of course i realized i can neither live with nor without my cap. so i probably will see him again too, on his terms of course, because being a cap, those are the only terms there are. but like mr. NY, there is something very fundamental that i like about him. and - he makes me very happy.

so i don't know what to do but keep seeing the people that make me happy and keep hoping that i could get happy & someone my age in the same package, but that is seeming less and less likely.

what do you do. make hay while the sun shines.

which, because i live in the northeast never happens, any more than finding "a guy that i want to date who also wants to date me" does.