hmmm

i've been reading over posts from lost in lobsterland. princess b writes such thoughtful posts about her life. ones that people want to read.

me, i write about what bothers me. such as things people don't want to read. oh well. such as it is.

my blog is about dating, not about the rest of my life that is going well.

if i were princess b, i would write about my cozy cat, who is obsessed with attention since i'm not home much lately, and sitting between my arms as i type, watching both the computer screen and the keyboard intermittently. this is because both are moving and he likes moving objects. aka mice.

he is cuddly nowdays, having outgrown some of his kitten angst. i still have to lock him outside my bedroom at night because he decides to wake up mid-night, when i am not. this is because of course he sleeps all day long on my bed. which i am not.

but i am not princess b so i don't write cute things, regrettably. i just go read hers, lol, about ru.

i write about my angst with boyz.

my new boy, mr. smart, is in ny. i wouldn't say i've been good while he is gone, as i took mr. iraqi out for his birthday in an impromptu dinner. etc. etc. but hey. we're not in a r-ship. at least until mr. smart decides he wants one and will show up often enough to keep me away from other men.

he is proving to be helpful though. even when he is sick. i like a smart guy that can think on his feet, even when he is off them.

well, i'm off to bed now and to confess something to someone. oh yes. this is my confessional. well, i've nothing to feel bad about, just odd. i am having a very hard time being alone at night.

the former mr. ny wants to come over, and my sax boy would. when i don't have company i tend to seek it nowdays. as i should. i'm 40 and not married. i haven't had all those years to get sick of someone.

however, i still value mr. smart. i had an interchange with him on text where i said, oh, did i text the wrong hot guy? he said, are there others? and i replied? that depends...in any case... blah blah blah.

he's a bright boy. i don't have to tell him what that depends means. he likes to be in control. if he wants to control where i go and who i see, he can step up. otherwise, as i said, there will be others. sad but true.

after all these years, i no longer chase or get involved with only one guy. that seems to lead only to heartbreak. instead i spread the love and that seems to work much better for me.

me. the girl who had 6 boyfriends when she was 6.

the more things change, the more they stay the same.