seeing stuck

it's really something that i can think about dating every day. (well, lately). and keep up a blog, on focus, for five years.

would that be a one-track mind, seeing stuck, obsession, observation, interest, or just plain good writing? maybe a little of each.

being single has become, for me, this condition of interest. like a chronic sickness. what else can you do, that you haven't done before, to try to get over it? or it's like this problem to solve. what's the best way to arrive at the desired results? or it's like this wonderful state of being. gee, it's great to be me, just me, how can i make it better? or it's like this state of wondering. what if i do this, that or the other thing? who will i be? who will i be with?

like the above, a little of each.

mostly i guess it's a quest to find myself.

who am i, outside of society's expectations? or all tangled up in them? or burdened by them?

who do i want to be? who do other people think i should be?

don't kid yourself, everyone has an opinion about other people. that is, if they care. society's expectations are as real as music is. you can't see it, but you can damn feel it. and hear it.

so i'm back today with a small thought for the day that i'll post in another blog. why? because i'm fighting back, dammit.

i'm seeing single & i chose it. therefore, i must learn to love it. or - admit i love it already.