connected

last night i decided to feed my need for connection. so instead of just feeling sad i was alone (again) i called my half-sister. and listened to her talk about her awful day.

it was great. i realized, i like to listen!! that is my gift. it is not talking (unless i am presenting at a conference) it is listening. i have not actively listened for a long while and it felt great. she did too, and when we hung up she was a totally different person. i could tell by her voice how much happier she felt.

i did too!

so it works. making a decision to focus on the parts of me that are most important to me, and actively taking responsibility for that - is amazing. plus, i didn't have to reach out to a guy to do it. i think lately - or for a very long time - i've been focusing my attention on guys to fill my need for connection. given that i tend to date guys with large needs for space, they don't really like to be connected. so i'm back to the drawing board. and it looks like i have come up with a workable plan.

you know me, i need to succeed. and - looks like i am succeeding at being connected.

ah. warm fuzzy feeling inside.

speaking of which, the other night mr. big called me. we spoke for a few minutes about his holiday and family and what had happened since we talked last. nothing in depth or particularly important but i got off the phone just feeling so loved & special. that feeling lasted all up until noon the next day or so. (another thing we learned - how long the effects are of things we do to get energy, so we can know when to fuel up on the things we need!) i just felt warm & fuzzy all over. which is what i suppose is the best part of connection. in fact now i still feel warm & fuzzy when i even think about him. i have no idea why! strange the effect people can have on you.

yes, mr. big is definitely a keeper. and he's set a new standard for my interaction with guys. if i don't feel happy & warm & fuzzy after interacting with them -

i'll exercise my queenly authority & say off with their heads!