how do you spell relief?

i've been trying to figure out why i like capricorns. i really do. mr. big & mr. ny are both caps & i'm just so crushed on them.

among the ton of other reasons, here is the main one...

they want me to be the best me.

these guys actually like the "me" that i like the best, and they demand it. if i'm not at my best, they tend to not be at their best either. and for caps that generally means non-responsive.

one thing about me in relationships is that i collapse. i turn from this independent, cheerful person into an insecure, scared little girl. no guy finds this attractive. especially caps.

so what they've been doing for me is pavlovian.

when i interact in a manner that is sexy (aka the best me) they respond the most. when i interact in a manner that isn't sexy (aka insecure me) they either don't respond or it's clearly not with the same level of interest.

these guys actually reinforce and reward the side of me that is strong. because they do not like weakness. now that's not to say they don't like being there for me if i need it. caps are all about taking care of and protecting their women. but they want to know they are needed for a cause. it is awesome if a strong woman needs them. but turns them off if a weak woman clings.

this is a HUGE finding for me. i can be the best me and still be in a relationship. because of this, i can have a relationship with these guys that is both meaningful and healthy for me. i don't have to go through that ego collapse and melding of "me" into "we." caps don't want that. they want to interact with a strong "i." it is not only preferred with these guys that i keep a strong sense of self, it is actually required.

oh what a relief it is!