#1 - Think the Best of People

the other day i was walking down the street in my pain & suffering & sadness (b/c i had been alone all weekend dammit) when i asked god, what can i do different? i'm just spinning my wheels & nothing is changing! i've made all these physical changes in my life & some things are SO much better. but i feel stuck in place!

so immediately he answered.

this thing popped into my head that was - think the best of people.

i almost groaned. it was so unbelievably appropriate.

because i ALWAYS think the worst.

this is a big problem and has been my whole life. i not only think the worst of people, i think the worst of what they are going to do, and did. so if a guy doesn't call back - he doesn't like me. or if he doesn't call back right away. or if he doesn't call first. or if he calls first too quickly. or if he calls too often. ok, you get it. there is no winning here.

i was immediately reminded what mr. ny told me one time when i was blowing up about work. he said (about my boss) "he must have had a good reason for what he did." i was like WHAT?

and then i realized - everyone's reasons are as good as my own! we all have good reasons for what we do. we may not LIKE what other people's reasons are but to them, they are good!

i think i've been so brainwashed by a dad that DIDN'T have good reasons (in my own opinion) for what he did, that i think everyone operates under some law of senselessness & meanness & selfishness.

time to break free.

(although i have to say - in defense of my dad - i'm realizing lately i'm not even sure i like kids or want them. clearly he didn't. but he had us anyway. that was the problem. he traded kids (a don't want) for marriage (a must have in his profession). we kids were the tradeoff. we were the deal he had to take. i don't think it was fair, but you can see - i'm actually finding that my father had reasons too! ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh!)

ok, so #1 - THINK THE BEST OF PEOPLE

now that's lifechanging stuff.

so what happened after i accepted this mandate? mr. big called. now i had called him a week ago saying i wanted to get together, with no response. my former self would have been all annoyed - and stayed annoyed - that he was ignoring me. i would have said, he just doesn't care. but then i thought to self, he always comes back. he must be super busy. so i texted him about something else, that he really didn't need to respond to (my friends standing me up - i said NOW i see why he always makes back-up plans - yet another thing i had never thought there was a good reason for - until now - that part i didn't say of course) and - voila he immediately called.

the new happy-great to hear from you-me listened to him say he had been busy, out of town, meaning to call, and heard how happy he sounded when i reiterated that i wanted to see him! i can't even remember hearing him sound that pleased, ever.

now i look forward to seeing him again & when we meet up, it will be awesome.

all because i changed my outlook - and instead of worrying boo hoo hoo he doesn't like me - i thought the best of him.

i can't wait to see how else this works...