married because?

in a singleton's world there is generally a desire to get married - at least for most of us - but also to escape being married for the wrong reasons.

this morning i read on this online message board: "I am currently going through a divorce to a guy who I married to try and escape my feelings for another guy."

wow. now i've heard of this happening i guess. i mean one of my friends' wives married him although she was in love with another guy. but just to escape your feelings? that's a long hard road to hoe.

i guess that's why i go after the guys now that i have feelings for & see what's going on. nothing like a fantasy to ruin your life. i mean if mr. ny & i fight & now i know he's not right for me, i don't have to have wasted more time on it.

what if - you marry one guy to get over another - and then later date the guy you really like and find out you DON'T GET ALONG! what a waste. (this is what this online girl seems to be going through - all this pining for the guy for years and marrying someone else to escape the feelings - yes she says this twice, but does he even like me? that's some kinda ouch!)

not that i'm advocating affairs. that's just plain wrong. i mean just get over those feelings, get real. no one is easy to live with. imagine the guy at his worst. get to know his wife & hear her talk about his flaws. just get over the fantasy already.

shocking to know that people will ruin someone else's life over their own fantasies. i guess it happens in many ways though. you have a fantasy that life will be better without your partner so you leave them. then - it isn't! it's LIFE. and life sucks. so then you start fantasizing about wanting them back. and go after them again.

it's amazing really that we will uproot the reality of a good thing for the mirage of another.

i mean this morning i woke up thanking god that when i have a fight with the guys in my life - i wake up alone! i don't have to deal with them & their shit (cuz this time it sure wasn't mine) the next morning. that's one clear advantage to being single and i am so thankful for that.

i saw my mom lose 10 years off her face within the first few weeks after my dad left us. now that is some stress to leave behind.

yes, being single is great in many ways. there are many women out there who envy me and cool peeps like princessb who is happy with her ru and two date diva who can date smart & chuck the ones she doesn't want within two dates!

we singletons are the secret envy of the married. they just never want us to know that.